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njtosd
Participant[quote=Blogstar]Thank you for the replies. No teacher involved at this point. I could teach them to start with , though I could teach them bad habits too. So, thinking about that.
The money spent vs. the possibility that one or more of the three boys take up an instrument or more than one instrument is a no brainer. I would like to pick the right pieces to start with . I am going to buy a guitar, a snare drum and one of these key boards and see what we do. We may get a trumpet, I played trumpet for a few years and my dabbling in it anew may be constructive towards tease out some commitment. If the kids have some friends who play music that could be a help. Just trying to plant the seed.
Academics are going well, with sports it depends on the child. One has crossed sports off, but is doing very well academically and in intellectual type hobbies, D&D, Magic, chess, robotics, to the extent he has been exposed. I don’t care about sports achievement as much as having the possibility of enjoying sports recreationally now and later in life. Nothing wrong with a sports scholarship but we don’t groom the kids for the possibility like some people do.
This keyboard is a Yamaha, and has full 5 stars on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Yamaha-Digital-Keyboard-Headphones-FastTrack/dp/B00BSUHEBE/ref=pd_sim_sbs_267_4?ie=UTF8&refRID=1GV65DZERM42BE28A2KSI’ll read the reviews later. Those are very helpful as many of the posters are playing keyboards.[/quote]
If you are thinking about a snare drum – I would at least look at electronic drum sets (about $140 on Amazon, I think). My daughter started out on electronic and now has a full acoustic set. I miss the electronic days . . Also, a simple keyboard works great until the kids need more, then you can Craigslist it.
Participant[quote=flu][quote=FlyerInHi][quote=flu]
There’s an app for that.[/quote]Playing music is more romantic.[/quote]
There’s an app for that too.[/quote]
Good one.
Participant[quote=spdrun]Sprinklers typically work from a roof tank. As I said: no one died. No need to over-react.
And you’re complaining about extravagant spending, but upset that they’re not spending more money on a student that annoys one of yours. What gives?[/quote]
Do I really have to point out the difference between fraud and graft (bad) and special education spending (good)? You’ve made my point perfectly – they wanted to line each other’s pockets but not provide whatever help they could to a disturbed child.
You don’t have kids, but I have never heard of a child (other than this one) threatening to kill the parents of another child. Of course it was ridiculous, but kindergartners don’t know that. A mad child might (not often) threaten to kill another kid (I know of one kid in 4S ranch who tried to strangle a fellow kindergartner, though). Once in a great while you come across a kid who is just bad to the core –
Participant[quote=spdrun]Ohmygahd! The kids had to WALK a bit to use the bathroom! How HORRIBLE that they got a bit of exercise! Did they die? Were they permanently maimed or suffer from PTSD from having to locomote on their own two feet with a full bladder?
As far as the “kill” story, if I had a dollar for every time someone said “I’m gonna kill…” without resorting to homicidal actions, I’d be rich now. They saw it for what it was. Not a credible threat worthy of calling in the police, so they dismissed it.
NJ does’t keep its kids in rubber coccoons. This isn’t a bad thing.
The math consultant thing sounds like basic cronyism and corruption. Don’t tell me this never, ever happens in CA.
950 kids per district, is a good thing, BTW. It avoids the creation of mega-districts where kids have to ride the bus long distances and where parents are distanced from the educational system. Three schools with a principal and assistant principal isn’t out of line. The number of custodians may be, but remember that buildings are older and weather is harsher in NJ than in CA.[/quote]
Sending kids to a school with no power is absolutely negligent per se. No water also means no sprinklers, I believe. Plus its cold and dark. People were too lazy to check the school – inexcusable.
The kid who threw blocks at mine and threatened to kill us already had a personal aide due to the inappropriateness of his behavior. I believe that they didn’t want to spend more money on him and were trying to sweep it under the rug. After I called to find out what was going on I was told that they were having a meeting about him and that he was being moved up a notch in his IEP, or whatever he had. So this was not just kids being kids – although I’m sure you probably let loose a lot of spittle as a kid, so maybe you relate.
You could cut the laziness and graft with a knife. So glad to leave.
Participant[quote=spdrun]
Little of the Californian BS about schools, either. If you move into a well-run town, you’ll have good schools, and you can generally rent something OK for cheaper than in San Diego. [/quote]
Clearly you don’t have children that have ever gone to school in NJ. More BS in NJ than CA – and less science. For instance, our district spent $15,000 for a math consultant (and idol of our superintendent) to help them choose math books. There were 4 math book publishers, the district already used one. There were only 950 students in the district; couldn’t the teachers figure out if another publisher was better . . .? For 950 kids, there were three principals, 2 assistant principals, 3 schools, and a 2:1 ration of admin to teachers (and a whopping 13 custodians – Del Mar Union Elem. SD has 19 for 8 schools.) They once allowed K-2nd children to come to school even though the school had no power, and no working toilets (no one had bothered to check after the weekend storm . . ) The kids had to walk over to another school to use the bathroom. My kindergartner came home one day and told me that a classmate had threatened “to kill [her] mommy and daddy.” Although the administration was aware of this incident, no one bothered to tell us. My blood pressure was off the charts at least once a week. And hence, we returned to SD. They must insert a chip into NJ residents at birth that makes them love the place – I can’t figure it out.
Participant[quote=flu]Speaking of random coursework at UC schools..
http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2015/may/12/ucsd-naked-final-exam/%5B/quote%5D
I saw that. How does this go on without the administration finding out? How can this professor defend his actions? The liability for UC is scary . . .
Participant[quote=spdrun]
Little of the Californian BS about schools, either. If you move into a well-run town, you’ll have good schools, and you can generally rent something OK for cheaper than in San Diego. It doesn’t matter where you live in town — there’s generally one high school and one district only, though grade schools might be different.[/quote]
When were you last in a NJ school? More BS there than here, in my opinion. And the per student cost, for example, at West Morris Mendham was 200% of that for Torrey Pines (last I checked) with significantly lower SAT scores(for 2013 – WMM = 1693, CCA = 1818). Average SAT scores (not a great indicator, but the only apples to apples I can think of) are virtually identical for NJ as a whole vs CA, even though the median household income is roughly $10,000 more in NJ. NJ residents love patting themselves on the back about their schools – in my opinion they are paying an enormous amount for administrative overhead and assuming that the kids are doing better because of it.
Participant[quote=thejard]NPR talked the other day where some study was done back in the 90s where they took lower income folk and moved them to middle income areas.
They had hoped the kids would do better and the adults would too. They largely found it didn’t.
HOWEVER, looking back at it from a different question: what is the impact on kids when moving to better schools at different ages. Age 13 was the key
http://pschousing.org/news/long-term-benefits-low-income-children-who-move-better-neighborhoods
So, just make sure the kiddos are in a good school by Junior High :)[/quote]
P.S. The experiment was based on a study where people were offered vouchers to move to a higher income area. The anxious ones would be disproportionately likely to take it. If there was ever a study where people were randomly moved, regardless of their preferences, I would believe it more. I think Malcolm Gladwell sites a study where low income kids who won a lottery to go to a better school did no better than those who lost the lottery, but they all did better than those who did not enter the lottery.
Participant[quote=thejard]NPR talked the other day where some study was done back in the 90s where they took lower income folk and moved them to middle income areas.
They had hoped the kids would do better and the adults would too. They largely found it didn’t.
HOWEVER, looking back at it from a different question: what is the impact on kids when moving to better schools at different ages. Age 13 was the key
http://pschousing.org/news/long-term-benefits-low-income-children-who-move-better-neighborhoods
So, just make sure the kiddos are in a good school by Junior High :)[/quote]
Frankly – I suspect that one of the things that makes people successful is a flavor of anxiety that it soothed by study, work, whatever (but does not respond to alcohol – if it did, they would probably have a high rate of alcoholism). And I think this is passed down. I have lived and studied in various places – it seems to me the high achievers often have something short of an anxiety disorder. For example, I routinely receive school emails sent at 2:00am about what I would call minor issues; the mothers around here are so afraid of their children gaining weight that they compare methods of preventing their children from eating their Halloween and Easter candy. This is in a school where I would estimate the rate of children being overweight is no more than 1%.
So – the low income folk you mention who were moved in next to these people would probably not enjoy it, and would be unlikely to “join in.” There would probably be some who had the same nervous tendencies who never had the opportunity to get ahead, and I’m sure those would do well. I know I sound fatalistic, but I think it’s largely inborn. And those that weren’t born with it drink a lot of coffee . . .
ParticipantThe University of Michigan generally ranks equal to or higher than UC schools (except UCLA and Berkeley) and out of state tuition is about $41,000. Great engineering school, science, not sure when it comes to liberal arts. This relates to another thread, but is the sunshine, etc. really worth $60,000+, and potentially the interest on the student loans?
Participant[quote=spdrun]
I have to say your negative attitude is a bit of a downer.
Thing is, I actually like NJ. Grew up there, and the state is quite a bit of fun. Interesting people, lots of diversity in food and culture, close to the best city in the US. Good beaches, hiking in the northwestern part. In many ways, it’s like a small California, and sorry you didn’t appreciate it. If you lived in the right town, your kids actually might have been happier than in California. Much less paranoia, no busing in some towns, so kids get to walk to school and hang out after hours rather than being tied to a rigid, car-based schedule.
It’s not some forsaken rust-belt town 200 miles from the nearest non-awful place.
As far as my attitude, it’s not negative. It’s anti-corporate and generally anti-authority. Some people accept the BS that “society” asks of them with a smile. I choose not to, or at least do so with a frown and a mouth full of spittle at the ready.[/quote]
We lived west of Morristown (close to where Chris Christie lives). It was beautiful – the prettiest house and the prettiest lot I’ll probably ever have. But the people sort of reminded me, well, of you. Even my 5 year old asked when we were going back to San Diego from the moment we moved there.
Not sure why the word society is in quotes. Do you not believe in society? Reminds me of the restaurants that proclaim “Fine Food” – come to think of it, common on the NJ diners.
Must be hard to talk when your mouth is always full of spittle at the ready.
Participant[quote=ocrenter][quote=AN][quote=ocrenter][quote=AN][quote=njtosd]But we have been very lucky – our life events (birth of children, job changes) have coincided very well with the market.[/quote]I believe this is the most important factor of all. If your life events coincides with market cycle, then success tend to come much easier than if your life event doesn’t coincide with the market cycle.[/quote]
Well… As we can all atest to, one can manipulate life events to coincide with market cycle…[/quote]
Yes, it’s possible and I’ve done it. But it requires you to be aware of such cycle and modify your life events. Most people are not aware of such cycle and/or have no desire to learn about such cycle. For those majority, when you’re born and when your life event make a huge difference.[/quote]That is why so many people use “fate” and “god’s plans” to excuse themselves from having to pay attention and be aware and make the necessary modifications.[/quote]
In our case, we had our second child shortly after 9/11, and housing prices were down. Even I wouldn’t claim to have been able to manipulate that (well at least 9/11).
Participant[quote=spdrun]What’s wrong with just living in an enjoyable environment instead of sacrificing for a “career” that mostly benefits those far above you in the corporate chain? Maybe they get it better than people who are willing to slave and live in forsaken pestholes in order to fluff their resume. Only to be let go with a week’s notice when the corporation restructures.
You’re only young once, and some rotting, has-been city in Ohio isn’t the place for it.[/quote]
Another ray of sunshine from spdrun.
You realize that was a “for instance”, right? My point is that there is a lot to be learned at such places. You and or your future progeny can do what they like – but those with the most valuable experience will be the most employable. It was such a situation that led us to NJ for 4 years. The New Jerseyans werent a lot of fun – but the job was good. We didnt die (although the kids would claim we came close) and now we’re back here.
I have to say your negative attitude is a bit of a downer.
Participant[quote=flyer]I think it would be far more revealing to see a breakdown of the stats concerning the percentage of students in various colleges who actually achieve the goals they set after graduation. As I mentioned in my small sample, we’re seeing about 50% among our friends and acquaintances who have kids in that age group.[/quote]
My sense is that most graduates are less willing to sacrifice for their ultimate career. For example, I’ve heard through the grapevine that students graduating from Rady School of Business won’t take jobs outside of the San Diego/LA area . . . even if it’s 3M, Proctor and Gamble, etc. They won’t even interview. Crazy. You might not want to live in Cincinnati forever, but the experience is worth a lot. My nephew had a shot at a job with a big tech company, but wouldn’t consider leaving Chicago. So if you put those kind of limitations on the job search, the chances of success are reduced.
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