[Doofrat]

Dubai and Las Vegas are both hell holes in the desert, but Vegas has: Free Booze, Gambling, and Titty Dancers. What does Dubai have again?

[Doofrat]

Always have a light on in the front of the house. Back too if it’s exposed. Simple and cheap, and probably the best deterrent.

Always have at least one light on a timer inside the house so it goes on at dusk.

Place wooden dowels in all the window frames so that a perp has to break a window to get in.

Make sure a neighbor knows you are going on vacation and that they promptly remove flyers, packages, newspapers, etc. from your driveway and foot path.

Of course, remove flyers and packages immediately when you are home.

When you moved in, did you change the locks? After giving a contractor the key, did you change the locks? Change the locks!

Also don’t leave anything in your car. A cluttered car is a target. Also, don’t leave the garage door opener in your car if you leave it outside.

Make sure the door from the garage to the house is a deadbolt lock. Make sure the deadbolt at the front door requires a key internally if the door has glass or glass next to it (if you do this have an easily accessible key nearby in case of emergency)

If you do not have the ability to create hats at will, think of another good distraction should you come face to face with a perp

Remember that a perp isn’t necessarily after your cache of gold bars (they’re probably just gold coated tungsten anyway), they just want something/anything to sell, so don’t leave anything within sight of the windows that you could sell for “dope”.

[Doofrat]

Always have a light on in the front of the house. Back too if it’s exposed. Simple and cheap, and probably the best deterrent.

Always have at least one light on a timer inside the house so it goes on at dusk.

Place wooden dowels in all the window frames so that a perp has to break a window to get in.

Make sure a neighbor knows you are going on vacation and that they promptly remove flyers, packages, newspapers, etc. from your driveway and foot path.

Of course, remove flyers and packages immediately when you are home.

When you moved in, did you change the locks? After giving a contractor the key, did you change the locks? Change the locks!

Also don’t leave anything in your car. A cluttered car is a target. Also, don’t leave the garage door opener in your car if you leave it outside.

Make sure the door from the garage to the house is a deadbolt lock. Make sure the deadbolt at the front door requires a key internally if the door has glass or glass next to it (if you do this have an easily accessible key nearby in case of emergency)

If you do not have the ability to create hats at will, think of another good distraction should you come face to face with a perp

Remember that a perp isn’t necessarily after your cache of gold bars (they’re probably just gold coated tungsten anyway), they just want something/anything to sell, so don’t leave anything within sight of the windows that you could sell for “dope”.

[Doofrat]

Always have a light on in the front of the house. Back too if it’s exposed. Simple and cheap, and probably the best deterrent.

Always have at least one light on a timer inside the house so it goes on at dusk.

Place wooden dowels in all the window frames so that a perp has to break a window to get in.

Make sure a neighbor knows you are going on vacation and that they promptly remove flyers, packages, newspapers, etc. from your driveway and foot path.

Of course, remove flyers and packages immediately when you are home.

When you moved in, did you change the locks? After giving a contractor the key, did you change the locks? Change the locks!

Also don’t leave anything in your car. A cluttered car is a target. Also, don’t leave the garage door opener in your car if you leave it outside.

Make sure the door from the garage to the house is a deadbolt lock. Make sure the deadbolt at the front door requires a key internally if the door has glass or glass next to it (if you do this have an easily accessible key nearby in case of emergency)

If you do not have the ability to create hats at will, think of another good distraction should you come face to face with a perp

Remember that a perp isn’t necessarily after your cache of gold bars (they’re probably just gold coated tungsten anyway), they just want something/anything to sell, so don’t leave anything within sight of the windows that you could sell for “dope”.

[Doofrat]

Always have a light on in the front of the house. Back too if it’s exposed. Simple and cheap, and probably the best deterrent.

Always have at least one light on a timer inside the house so it goes on at dusk.

Place wooden dowels in all the window frames so that a perp has to break a window to get in.

Make sure a neighbor knows you are going on vacation and that they promptly remove flyers, packages, newspapers, etc. from your driveway and foot path.

Of course, remove flyers and packages immediately when you are home.

When you moved in, did you change the locks? After giving a contractor the key, did you change the locks? Change the locks!

Also don’t leave anything in your car. A cluttered car is a target. Also, don’t leave the garage door opener in your car if you leave it outside.

Make sure the door from the garage to the house is a deadbolt lock. Make sure the deadbolt at the front door requires a key internally if the door has glass or glass next to it (if you do this have an easily accessible key nearby in case of emergency)

If you do not have the ability to create hats at will, think of another good distraction should you come face to face with a perp

Remember that a perp isn’t necessarily after your cache of gold bars (they’re probably just gold coated tungsten anyway), they just want something/anything to sell, so don’t leave anything within sight of the windows that you could sell for “dope”.

[Doofrat]

Always have a light on in the front of the house. Back too if it’s exposed. Simple and cheap, and probably the best deterrent.

Always have at least one light on a timer inside the house so it goes on at dusk.

Place wooden dowels in all the window frames so that a perp has to break a window to get in.

Make sure a neighbor knows you are going on vacation and that they promptly remove flyers, packages, newspapers, etc. from your driveway and foot path.

Of course, remove flyers and packages immediately when you are home.

When you moved in, did you change the locks? After giving a contractor the key, did you change the locks? Change the locks!

Also don’t leave anything in your car. A cluttered car is a target. Also, don’t leave the garage door opener in your car if you leave it outside.

Make sure the door from the garage to the house is a deadbolt lock. Make sure the deadbolt at the front door requires a key internally if the door has glass or glass next to it (if you do this have an easily accessible key nearby in case of emergency)

If you do not have the ability to create hats at will, think of another good distraction should you come face to face with a perp

Remember that a perp isn’t necessarily after your cache of gold bars (they’re probably just gold coated tungsten anyway), they just want something/anything to sell, so don’t leave anything within sight of the windows that you could sell for “dope”.

[Doofrat]

[quote=paramount][quote=svelte]There probably is a real opportunity here to have more people see the light – that God is just Santa Claus for adults….nothing more than a mirage.[/quote]

Oh, and you know this for a fact?[/quote]

I think Svelte has faith that god is Santa Claus for adults, and that’s all Svelte needs.

[Doofrat]

[quote=paramount][quote=svelte]There probably is a real opportunity here to have more people see the light – that God is just Santa Claus for adults….nothing more than a mirage.[/quote]

Oh, and you know this for a fact?[/quote]

I think Svelte has faith that god is Santa Claus for adults, and that’s all Svelte needs.

[Doofrat]

[quote=paramount][quote=svelte]There probably is a real opportunity here to have more people see the light – that God is just Santa Claus for adults….nothing more than a mirage.[/quote]

Oh, and you know this for a fact?[/quote]

I think Svelte has faith that god is Santa Claus for adults, and that’s all Svelte needs.

[Doofrat]

[quote=paramount][quote=svelte]There probably is a real opportunity here to have more people see the light – that God is just Santa Claus for adults….nothing more than a mirage.[/quote]

Oh, and you know this for a fact?[/quote]

I think Svelte has faith that god is Santa Claus for adults, and that’s all Svelte needs.

[Doofrat]

[quote=paramount][quote=svelte]There probably is a real opportunity here to have more people see the light – that God is just Santa Claus for adults….nothing more than a mirage.[/quote]

Oh, and you know this for a fact?[/quote]

I think Svelte has faith that god is Santa Claus for adults, and that’s all Svelte needs.

[Doofrat]

Your sociopaths as landlords are planning to show it now.

You have a lease and it says no showings until 30 days before the lease is up. Stick to that, don’t budge. Unless they let you out of the lease early, no showings until 30 days before. They want to stick to their end of the lease, then you should too.
Your landlords suck at planning their lives, and they want you to give up the quality of your life to make up for their crappy planning. I’d at least expect them to let you out of the lease early if they want to show and sell, but they don’t even want to do that. Screw em’!
Maybe you should put up a bunch of no trespassing and no realtors signs up around the place and then tell em’ the signs come down 30 days before the end of the lease.

[Doofrat]

Your sociopaths as landlords are planning to show it now.

You have a lease and it says no showings until 30 days before the lease is up. Stick to that, don’t budge. Unless they let you out of the lease early, no showings until 30 days before. They want to stick to their end of the lease, then you should too.
Your landlords suck at planning their lives, and they want you to give up the quality of your life to make up for their crappy planning. I’d at least expect them to let you out of the lease early if they want to show and sell, but they don’t even want to do that. Screw em’!
Maybe you should put up a bunch of no trespassing and no realtors signs up around the place and then tell em’ the signs come down 30 days before the end of the lease.

[Doofrat]

Your sociopaths as landlords are planning to show it now.

You have a lease and it says no showings until 30 days before the lease is up. Stick to that, don’t budge. Unless they let you out of the lease early, no showings until 30 days before. They want to stick to their end of the lease, then you should too.
Your landlords suck at planning their lives, and they want you to give up the quality of your life to make up for their crappy planning. I’d at least expect them to let you out of the lease early if they want to show and sell, but they don’t even want to do that. Screw em’!
Maybe you should put up a bunch of no trespassing and no realtors signs up around the place and then tell em’ the signs come down 30 days before the end of the lease.

[Doofrat]

Your sociopaths as landlords are planning to show it now.

You have a lease and it says no showings until 30 days before the lease is up. Stick to that, don’t budge. Unless they let you out of the lease early, no showings until 30 days before. They want to stick to their end of the lease, then you should too.
Your landlords suck at planning their lives, and they want you to give up the quality of your life to make up for their crappy planning. I’d at least expect them to let you out of the lease early if they want to show and sell, but they don’t even want to do that. Screw em’!
Maybe you should put up a bunch of no trespassing and no realtors signs up around the place and then tell em’ the signs come down 30 days before the end of the lease.

[Author]

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