[davelj]

[quote=jpinpb]

My brother was married for 10 years. He fell out of love. He wanted to be w/other women. He did not cheat on his wife. He explained to her that it was better for them to divorce. He did not want to deceive her. He wanted her to be happy and find somone who loved her. She was hurt at the time, but now is happy. I think it would’ve been more traumatic for her if he cheated on her. [/quote]

Which is exactly how it’s supposed to be handled. I think the typical husband, however, reasons as follows: “I love my wife and family but I have ‘needs’. So long as my wife and family don’t know about how I go about satisfying them then it’s as if it didn’t happen. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. But if I try to divorce, there will be a long-term shitstorm from which recovery will be both expensive and emotionally draining. Therefore I will gamble that I won’t get caught because I like the odds and the potential asymmetric payoff.” Frankly, it’s the family-relationship version of kicking the can down the road. I think it’s that simple. It may not be particularly realistic – but if you’re really confident then I can see how many men sell themselves on this strategy.

And here’s the reality – many men go to their graves without their families knowing about their extracurricular activities. On the other hand, a large number get caught as well. So, it’s a risky strategy.

[davelj]

[quote=jpinpb]

My brother was married for 10 years. He fell out of love. He wanted to be w/other women. He did not cheat on his wife. He explained to her that it was better for them to divorce. He did not want to deceive her. He wanted her to be happy and find somone who loved her. She was hurt at the time, but now is happy. I think it would’ve been more traumatic for her if he cheated on her. [/quote]

Which is exactly how it’s supposed to be handled. I think the typical husband, however, reasons as follows: “I love my wife and family but I have ‘needs’. So long as my wife and family don’t know about how I go about satisfying them then it’s as if it didn’t happen. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. But if I try to divorce, there will be a long-term shitstorm from which recovery will be both expensive and emotionally draining. Therefore I will gamble that I won’t get caught because I like the odds and the potential asymmetric payoff.” Frankly, it’s the family-relationship version of kicking the can down the road. I think it’s that simple. It may not be particularly realistic – but if you’re really confident then I can see how many men sell themselves on this strategy.

And here’s the reality – many men go to their graves without their families knowing about their extracurricular activities. On the other hand, a large number get caught as well. So, it’s a risky strategy.

[davelj]

[quote=jpinpb]

My brother was married for 10 years. He fell out of love. He wanted to be w/other women. He did not cheat on his wife. He explained to her that it was better for them to divorce. He did not want to deceive her. He wanted her to be happy and find somone who loved her. She was hurt at the time, but now is happy. I think it would’ve been more traumatic for her if he cheated on her. [/quote]

Which is exactly how it’s supposed to be handled. I think the typical husband, however, reasons as follows: “I love my wife and family but I have ‘needs’. So long as my wife and family don’t know about how I go about satisfying them then it’s as if it didn’t happen. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. But if I try to divorce, there will be a long-term shitstorm from which recovery will be both expensive and emotionally draining. Therefore I will gamble that I won’t get caught because I like the odds and the potential asymmetric payoff.” Frankly, it’s the family-relationship version of kicking the can down the road. I think it’s that simple. It may not be particularly realistic – but if you’re really confident then I can see how many men sell themselves on this strategy.

And here’s the reality – many men go to their graves without their families knowing about their extracurricular activities. On the other hand, a large number get caught as well. So, it’s a risky strategy.

[davelj]

[quote=jpinpb]

My brother was married for 10 years. He fell out of love. He wanted to be w/other women. He did not cheat on his wife. He explained to her that it was better for them to divorce. He did not want to deceive her. He wanted her to be happy and find somone who loved her. She was hurt at the time, but now is happy. I think it would’ve been more traumatic for her if he cheated on her. [/quote]

Which is exactly how it’s supposed to be handled. I think the typical husband, however, reasons as follows: “I love my wife and family but I have ‘needs’. So long as my wife and family don’t know about how I go about satisfying them then it’s as if it didn’t happen. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. But if I try to divorce, there will be a long-term shitstorm from which recovery will be both expensive and emotionally draining. Therefore I will gamble that I won’t get caught because I like the odds and the potential asymmetric payoff.” Frankly, it’s the family-relationship version of kicking the can down the road. I think it’s that simple. It may not be particularly realistic – but if you’re really confident then I can see how many men sell themselves on this strategy.

And here’s the reality – many men go to their graves without their families knowing about their extracurricular activities. On the other hand, a large number get caught as well. So, it’s a risky strategy.

[davelj]

[quote=deadzone]

Clearly Dave you are not married.[/quote]

Indeed, clearly.

[davelj]

[quote=deadzone]

Clearly Dave you are not married.[/quote]

Indeed, clearly.

[davelj]

[quote=deadzone]

Clearly Dave you are not married.[/quote]

Indeed, clearly.

[davelj]

[quote=deadzone]

Clearly Dave you are not married.[/quote]

Indeed, clearly.

[davelj]

[quote=deadzone]

Clearly Dave you are not married.[/quote]

Indeed, clearly.

[davelj]

The problem is that on the road to $10 it might hit $300 first… “the market can remain irrational for longer than you can remain solvent”.

[davelj]

The problem is that on the road to $10 it might hit $300 first… “the market can remain irrational for longer than you can remain solvent”.

[davelj]

The problem is that on the road to $10 it might hit $300 first… “the market can remain irrational for longer than you can remain solvent”.

[davelj]

The problem is that on the road to $10 it might hit $300 first… “the market can remain irrational for longer than you can remain solvent”.

[davelj]

The problem is that on the road to $10 it might hit $300 first… “the market can remain irrational for longer than you can remain solvent”.

[davelj]

[quote=walterwhite]I like cake but it’s also good to have a spare Twinkie. Why not at least try to have your cake and eat it too. You might get away with it. Nothing ventured nothing gained.[/quote]

And therein lies one big problem. Many men (and women – but I’m going to focus on men here) want to have their cake and eat it too. They enter into marriage because they want kids and the stability of a wife-partner. But they have no intention of being faithful. They view the whole arrangement as just being part of life – you have your wife and kids, and then you have your affairs on the side. A large proportion of men enter into marriage with the belief that this is just how men are supposed to lead their lives. I’m not saying it’s right – I’m just saying it’s prevalent. I have many married male friends that, if we were in a bar somewhere and they started trying to pick up a woman and I reminded them of their marriage… they would break up in laughter at the comment, assuming it was a joke.

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