Parents kicking their children out of the home

[lifeisgood]

What ever happened to problem solving? To many parents these days never allow their children to fall on their face enough. If you don’t want your children to play with an electrical socket, then give them a fork. It will only happen once. If you want your children to have life skills, then let them learn some on their own. To many kids these days believe that you go to college, get a job, and live happily ever after. Life is full of curve balls, let these kids try to swing at some from time to time. Just my opinion.

[an]

[quote=eavesdropper]
This has been pointed out in several of the posts…in fact, I think the blame goes more to the enabler. A child (even an adult one) cannot act any differently than the way he’s been taught. If he/she has never been taught basic life skills or made to bear personal responsibility for wrongdoing (in essence, been taught that mom and dad are their personal servants, and they can do anything they want without personal repercussions), how can they be expected to act otherwise?

However, this begs the question: If you have realized that you’ve made serious mistakes and made genuine efforts to undo the damage your “parenting” (or lack thereof) has done, are you “helping” them by allowing them to continue using and abusing you, or simply continuing to enable their escalating deviant behavior?
[/quote]
If you think there’s equal blame for the enabler, then the question becomes, what type of person is the enabler. Is he/she own up to their mistake and try to fix it at any cost or do they just say f* it, I’ve tried hard enough to fix it and the problem is not going away so I’ll throw in the tower and kick the kid out. If you’re an enabler parent for 18 years, at the very least, I would think you should spend the next 18 years trying to fix the problem you cause in the 1st 18 years before you can truly say you tried hard enough. Behavior takes a long time to change.

[an]

[quote=eavesdropper]
This has been pointed out in several of the posts…in fact, I think the blame goes more to the enabler. A child (even an adult one) cannot act any differently than the way he’s been taught. If he/she has never been taught basic life skills or made to bear personal responsibility for wrongdoing (in essence, been taught that mom and dad are their personal servants, and they can do anything they want without personal repercussions), how can they be expected to act otherwise?

However, this begs the question: If you have realized that you’ve made serious mistakes and made genuine efforts to undo the damage your “parenting” (or lack thereof) has done, are you “helping” them by allowing them to continue using and abusing you, or simply continuing to enable their escalating deviant behavior?
[/quote]
If you think there’s equal blame for the enabler, then the question becomes, what type of person is the enabler. Is he/she own up to their mistake and try to fix it at any cost or do they just say f* it, I’ve tried hard enough to fix it and the problem is not going away so I’ll throw in the tower and kick the kid out. If you’re an enabler parent for 18 years, at the very least, I would think you should spend the next 18 years trying to fix the problem you cause in the 1st 18 years before you can truly say you tried hard enough. Behavior takes a long time to change.

[an]

[quote=eavesdropper]
This has been pointed out in several of the posts…in fact, I think the blame goes more to the enabler. A child (even an adult one) cannot act any differently than the way he’s been taught. If he/she has never been taught basic life skills or made to bear personal responsibility for wrongdoing (in essence, been taught that mom and dad are their personal servants, and they can do anything they want without personal repercussions), how can they be expected to act otherwise?

However, this begs the question: If you have realized that you’ve made serious mistakes and made genuine efforts to undo the damage your “parenting” (or lack thereof) has done, are you “helping” them by allowing them to continue using and abusing you, or simply continuing to enable their escalating deviant behavior?
[/quote]
If you think there’s equal blame for the enabler, then the question becomes, what type of person is the enabler. Is he/she own up to their mistake and try to fix it at any cost or do they just say f* it, I’ve tried hard enough to fix it and the problem is not going away so I’ll throw in the tower and kick the kid out. If you’re an enabler parent for 18 years, at the very least, I would think you should spend the next 18 years trying to fix the problem you cause in the 1st 18 years before you can truly say you tried hard enough. Behavior takes a long time to change.

[an]

[quote=eavesdropper]
This has been pointed out in several of the posts…in fact, I think the blame goes more to the enabler. A child (even an adult one) cannot act any differently than the way he’s been taught. If he/she has never been taught basic life skills or made to bear personal responsibility for wrongdoing (in essence, been taught that mom and dad are their personal servants, and they can do anything they want without personal repercussions), how can they be expected to act otherwise?

However, this begs the question: If you have realized that you’ve made serious mistakes and made genuine efforts to undo the damage your “parenting” (or lack thereof) has done, are you “helping” them by allowing them to continue using and abusing you, or simply continuing to enable their escalating deviant behavior?
[/quote]
If you think there’s equal blame for the enabler, then the question becomes, what type of person is the enabler. Is he/she own up to their mistake and try to fix it at any cost or do they just say f* it, I’ve tried hard enough to fix it and the problem is not going away so I’ll throw in the tower and kick the kid out. If you’re an enabler parent for 18 years, at the very least, I would think you should spend the next 18 years trying to fix the problem you cause in the 1st 18 years before you can truly say you tried hard enough. Behavior takes a long time to change.

[an]

[quote=eavesdropper]
This has been pointed out in several of the posts…in fact, I think the blame goes more to the enabler. A child (even an adult one) cannot act any differently than the way he’s been taught. If he/she has never been taught basic life skills or made to bear personal responsibility for wrongdoing (in essence, been taught that mom and dad are their personal servants, and they can do anything they want without personal repercussions), how can they be expected to act otherwise?

However, this begs the question: If you have realized that you’ve made serious mistakes and made genuine efforts to undo the damage your “parenting” (or lack thereof) has done, are you “helping” them by allowing them to continue using and abusing you, or simply continuing to enable their escalating deviant behavior?
[/quote]
If you think there’s equal blame for the enabler, then the question becomes, what type of person is the enabler. Is he/she own up to their mistake and try to fix it at any cost or do they just say f* it, I’ve tried hard enough to fix it and the problem is not going away so I’ll throw in the tower and kick the kid out. If you’re an enabler parent for 18 years, at the very least, I would think you should spend the next 18 years trying to fix the problem you cause in the 1st 18 years before you can truly say you tried hard enough. Behavior takes a long time to change.

[NotCranky]

The parent/creator of a deadbeat in years 1-18 is not an enabler or not only an enabler. He or she is a saboteur,intentionally or by default.

[NotCranky]

The parent/creator of a deadbeat in years 1-18 is not an enabler or not only an enabler. He or she is a saboteur,intentionally or by default.

[NotCranky]

The parent/creator of a deadbeat in years 1-18 is not an enabler or not only an enabler. He or she is a saboteur,intentionally or by default.

[NotCranky]

The parent/creator of a deadbeat in years 1-18 is not an enabler or not only an enabler. He or she is a saboteur,intentionally or by default.

[NotCranky]

The parent/creator of a deadbeat in years 1-18 is not an enabler or not only an enabler. He or she is a saboteur,intentionally or by default.

[scaredyclassic]

I tend to blame the law school and the parent. My mom said I’d feel different when I was the parent but I don’t.

I am perpetually amazed at how my kids are so calm confident strong mellow Polite considerate reasonable and well-adapted, given that they come from and were raised by such a dark, neurotic dweeb.

I have a theory that parents who are genuine and honest with their kids about what’s going on have mentally healthier families than one where there is a sense of falseness. Even if the reality is bad. Better to have bitter truth than sweet bullshit.

Movie recommendation; documentary

babies

avail intant view netflix

follows four babies in first year, rural Africa, USA, japan and Mongolia. Fascinating.

Guess where the happiest baby is?

[scaredyclassic]

I tend to blame the law school and the parent. My mom said I’d feel different when I was the parent but I don’t.

I am perpetually amazed at how my kids are so calm confident strong mellow Polite considerate reasonable and well-adapted, given that they come from and were raised by such a dark, neurotic dweeb.

I have a theory that parents who are genuine and honest with their kids about what’s going on have mentally healthier families than one where there is a sense of falseness. Even if the reality is bad. Better to have bitter truth than sweet bullshit.

Movie recommendation; documentary

babies

avail intant view netflix

follows four babies in first year, rural Africa, USA, japan and Mongolia. Fascinating.

Guess where the happiest baby is?

[scaredyclassic]

I tend to blame the law school and the parent. My mom said I’d feel different when I was the parent but I don’t.

I am perpetually amazed at how my kids are so calm confident strong mellow Polite considerate reasonable and well-adapted, given that they come from and were raised by such a dark, neurotic dweeb.

I have a theory that parents who are genuine and honest with their kids about what’s going on have mentally healthier families than one where there is a sense of falseness. Even if the reality is bad. Better to have bitter truth than sweet bullshit.

Movie recommendation; documentary

babies

avail intant view netflix

follows four babies in first year, rural Africa, USA, japan and Mongolia. Fascinating.

Guess where the happiest baby is?

[scaredyclassic]

I tend to blame the law school and the parent. My mom said I’d feel different when I was the parent but I don’t.

I am perpetually amazed at how my kids are so calm confident strong mellow Polite considerate reasonable and well-adapted, given that they come from and were raised by such a dark, neurotic dweeb.

I have a theory that parents who are genuine and honest with their kids about what’s going on have mentally healthier families than one where there is a sense of falseness. Even if the reality is bad. Better to have bitter truth than sweet bullshit.

Movie recommendation; documentary

babies

avail intant view netflix

follows four babies in first year, rural Africa, USA, japan and Mongolia. Fascinating.

Guess where the happiest baby is?

[Author]

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