ot. what do adult kids owe parents if anything.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=AN]What goes around comes around. Treat others how you’d like to be treated (parents included). It’s really that simple. If you leave your parents to rot in the nursing home with no visits, you shouldn’t expect anymore from your own kids.[/quote]

What goes around sometimes comes around.

Is it really just about payback

You may expect more if you are a good child but expectations are often disappointed

[NotCranky]

I asked my kids the question today ” what do adult children owe their parents if anything?” “what do your mom and I owe grammy and pop pop?”

7 year old, “Love them and take us( grandchildren) to visit them.”

10 year old, “Start helping them after they are about 50, especially if they are disabled or sick.”

11 year old, “About 20% of whatever they gave you over the years.” I tried to get it up to 33% but he wasn’t having it. 20 % is a pretty good deal though.

[scaredyclassic]

Hilarious. 20 percent sounds awesome. Especially since I got a lot of pleasure from the 80 percent.

[NotCranky]

[quote=scaredyclassic]Hilarious. 20 percent sounds awesome. Especially since I got a lot of pleasure from the 80 percent.[/quote]

Yes, I know it’s so funny, and a good deal too!

[scaredyclassic]

20%is basically heavy tithing. avoid guilt. of course it’s going down rapidly from 7 to 11. so by the time they hit 25, it’s probably down to 2% or less…

[NotCranky]

[quote=scaredyclassic]20%is basically heavy tithing. avoid guilt. of course it’s going down rapidly from 7 to 11. so by the time they hit 25, it’s probably down to 2% or less…[/quote]

I told him giving me 20% of everything he ever makes is more fair because it could sort of relate to how useful what we did for him was. I think he was starting to get angry so I backed off. This kid is going to run the “Just In Case Church of God, God, God, God, and God, etc.” He’s going to be doing pretty well.

[an]

[quote=scaredyclassic][quote=AN]What goes around comes around. Treat others how you’d like to be treated (parents included). It’s really that simple. If you leave your parents to rot in the nursing home with no visits, you shouldn’t expect anymore from your own kids.[/quote]

What goes around sometimes comes around.

Is it really just about payback

You may expect more if you are a good child but expectations are often disappointed[/quote]
Its not about expectations. You shouldn’t do it expecting something in return. But Karma is a bitch.

[NotCranky]

When a whole bunch of terrible things happen to a family of children at the hands of their parents, is that Karma to the children from a past life or something? So those kids don’t do too much for abusive parents ,but treat their children wonderfully when they have them….how should Karma work then? Not expectations …just the bit about Karma?

[an]

[quote=Blogstar]When a whole bunch of terrible things happen to a family of children at the hands of their parents, is that Karma to the children from a past life or something? So those kids don’t do too much for abusive parents ,but treat their children wonderfully when they have them….how should Karma work then? Not expectations …just the bit about Karma?[/quote]You can mocked the idea of karma. It doesn’t really matter if you believe or care about karma. But when your kids see you neglect your parents and you telling them that it’s OK. Don’t be too surprise when they follow your footstep and neglect you when you need them. The apple doesn’t fall to far from the tree. It’s really not that hard to grasp. Treat others how you’d like to be treated. That’s including treating your kids how you’d like they to treat you and teach them that how they treat out will someday be learned by their kids and they will treat them the way they treat you. If your kids see you genuinely love your parents and take care of them when they needed your care without any resentment, maybe they’ll learn that lesson and treat you the same way. Sometimes they won’t but like I said, don’t be nice with expectation of something in return. Be nice for the sake of being nice and hoping the niceness will rub off on people around you. But if it doesn’t, that’s OK too, because you genuinely did it because you want to, and not because you’re expecting something in return.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=AN][quote=scaredyclassic][quote=AN]What goes around comes around. Treat others how you’d like to be treated (parents included). It’s really that simple. If you leave your parents to rot in the nursing home with no visits, you shouldn’t expect anymore from your own kids.[/quote]

What goes around sometimes comes around.

Is it really just about payback

You may expect more if you are a good child but expectations are often disappointed[/quote]
Its not about expectations. You shouldn’t do it expecting something in return. But Karma is a bitch.[/quote]

if only it were as simple as, you do good things, you get good things.

reality is, bad shit happens to good people. all day long.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar]When a whole bunch of terrible things happen to a family of children at the hands of their parents, is that Karma to the children from a past life or something? So those kids don’t do too much for abusive parents ,but treat their children wonderfully when they have them….how should Karma work then? Not expectations …just the bit about Karma?[/quote]

karma gets a little complicated when you talk about actual karma.

think this is more of a do unto others as you would ahve them do unto you.

problem is, just because you feel obliged to do something, doresn’t eman your offspring will necessarily feel so obliged. particularly if you didn’t raise them to feel guilty about shit.

which was my mistake…

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=AN][quote=Blogstar]When a whole bunch of terrible things happen to a family of children at the hands of their parents, is that Karma to the children from a past life or something? So those kids don’t do too much for abusive parents ,but treat their children wonderfully when they have them….how should Karma work then? Not expectations …just the bit about Karma?[/quote]You can mocked the idea of karma. It doesn’t really matter if you believe or care about karma. But when your kids see you neglect your parents and you telling them that it’s OK. Don’t be too surprise when they follow your footstep and neglect you when you need them. The apple doesn’t fall to far from the tree. It’s really not that hard to grasp. Treat others how you’d like to be treated. That’s including treating your kids how you’d like they to treat you and teach them that how they treat out will someday be learned by their kids and they will treat them the way they treat you. If your kids see you genuinely love your parents and take care of them when they needed your care without any resentment, maybe they’ll learn that lesson and treat you the same way. Sometimes they won’t but like I said, don’t be nice with expectation of something in return. Be nice for the sake of being nice and hoping the niceness will rub off on people around you. But if it doesn’t, that’s OK too, because you genuinely did it because you want to, and not because you’re expecting something in return.[/quote]

what if i don’t want to be nice? does that significantly lessen the odds that my kids will tend to me?

what if I act only out of guilt, not out of love? does that negate the whole thing? is it better for me nott o do anything out of guilt?

i think the real truth is that a lot of people’s folks drive them batshit crazy …

[an]

[quote=scaredyclassic][quote=AN][quote=scaredyclassic][quote=AN]What goes around comes around. Treat others how you’d like to be treated (parents included). It’s really that simple. If you leave your parents to rot in the nursing home with no visits, you shouldn’t expect anymore from your own kids.[/quote]

What goes around sometimes comes around.

Is it really just about payback

You may expect more if you are a good child but expectations are often disappointed[/quote]
Its not about expectations. You shouldn’t do it expecting something in return. But Karma is a bitch.[/quote]

if only it were as simple as, you do good things, you get good things.

reality is, bad shit happens to good people. all day long.[/quote]Of course bad shit happens to good people. But when you’re surrounded by shit, it’s hard not to see shit.

[an]

[quote=scaredyclassic]
what if i don’t want to be nice? does that significantly lessen the odds that my kids will tend to me?

what if I act only out of guilt, not out of love? does that negate the whole thing? is it better for me nott o do anything out of guilt?

i think the real truth is that a lot of people’s folks drive them batshit crazy …[/quote]then, put them all into homes and put yourself into a home when you’re no longer independent. Problem solved. Why even worry about any of it. It seems like it’s not even worth thinking about since everyone is driving everyone else batshit.

[CA renter]

[quote=AN]You can mocked the idea of karma. It doesn’t really matter if you believe or care about karma. But when your kids see you neglect your parents and you telling them that it’s OK. Don’t be too surprise when they follow your footstep and neglect you when you need them. The apple doesn’t fall to far from the tree. It’s really not that hard to grasp. Treat others how you’d like to be treated. That’s including treating your kids how you’d like they to treat you and teach them that how they treat out will someday be learned by their kids and they will treat them the way they treat you. If your kids see you genuinely love your parents and take care of them when they needed your care without any resentment, maybe they’ll learn that lesson and treat you the same way. Sometimes they won’t but like I said, don’t be nice with expectation of something in return. Be nice for the sake of being nice and hoping the niceness will rub off on people around you. But if it doesn’t, that’s OK too, because you genuinely did it because you want to, and not because you’re expecting something in return.[/quote]

+1,000,000

[Author]

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