ot. what do adult kids owe parents if anything.

[scaredyclassic]

Happy mothers day, ingrates!

[UCGal]

Here’s a related question –
Do husbands have any obligation to acknowledge Mother’s day to the mother of their children? I’ve heard the line “But she’s not my mother” from someone and always thought ‘ouch’.

Enjoy your mom’s while you can. I miss my mom.

[UCGal]

dup

[NotCranky]

My wife and I usually do very little to celebrate our birthdays or mother’s day and father’s day. But of course the mother of one’s children is as vip as anyone on mothers day. How could it be any other way?

Kids don’t owe us anything, maybe help us get buried or cremated if anything..it wouldn’t hurt to ask for any help with that in advance just in case they have something better to do the week you kick the bucket.

[NotCranky]

There’s probably always going to be that one kid or that phase where the adult child needs to blow off the family…when mine do that I want them to do it with a clean conscience like I hope mine will be at the time.

[scaredyclassic]

the 5th commandment refers to a duty to honor your mother and father. this has been interpreted by rabbis to include taking care of your parents, even if they are really shitty parents.

[scaredyclassic]

most successful people nowadays generally detach from their parents….

[scaredyclassic]

“The spiritual teacher and ’60s consciousness pioneer Ram Dass liked to say to students: “You think you’re enlightened? Go spend a week with your family.” The guy lived in India, had a guru, has been a spiritual mentor to two generations of seekers, and even though he didn’t specifically say “mother,” I know that’s what he meant.”

“The late Randy Gerson, a psychologist who did a lot of work in this field, once told a lecture hall full of his students that even the most healthily individuated adult, upon visiting his or her home or parents, has a maximum of 36 hours from the time the foot hits the tarmac until being sucked into an emotional time machine — returned to that old place in the family system’s cogs and wheels and push buttons.”

help your parents because it’sthe right thing to do…but steer clear of the crazy shit that you get sucked into almost instanty and certainly unconsciously. and try to be aware of the crazy shit youre doing to your poor little kids!

[CA renter]

[quote=scaredyclassic]the 5th commandment refers to a duty to honor your mother and father. this has been interpreted by rabbis to include taking care of your parents, even if they are really shitty parents.[/quote]

I agree with this, though not if they’re entirely shitty parents. Americans tend to be some of the worst when it comes to feeling any kind of duty toward their parents.

[zk]

[quote=CA renter]
Americans tend to be some of the worst when it comes to feeling any kind of duty toward their parents.[/quote]

I agree, and I think Americans are among the worst when it comes to respecting old people in general. In a lot of cultures, age is equated with wisdom. In America, it’s generally equated with being used up and being not worth paying attention to.

I’m not sure old people necessarily deserve to be revered, but they certainly don’t deserve to be ignored.

[NotCranky]

I built my kids a really nice tree fort. More like a small cabin in a tree. They owe me to start using the thing soon,and too always remember it fondly. If they don’t they can just forget any help going to college.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar]I built my kids a really nice tree fort. More like a small cabin in a tree. They owe me to start using the thing soon,and too always remember it fondly. If they don’t they can just forget any help going to college.[/quote]

I guess my kids will either remember all that fun random shot we did fondly or not. Hard to say they owe it to me though. I think they were having fun at the time but maybe it’ll be hellish in retrospect

[scaredyclassic]

Hung out with the kids and oldest ones GF. She probably thinks we are odd. But he’s weird like us. Just cause you can deal with your odd boyfriend doesn’t mean his family isn’t superstrange though. .. He seemed to bridge the gap OK seemed like he liked having us about.

Kids are meant to detach and start new weird units…

[CA renter]

[quote=zk][quote=CA renter]
Americans tend to be some of the worst when it comes to feeling any kind of duty toward their parents.[/quote]

I agree, and I think Americans are among the worst when it comes to respecting old people in general. In a lot of cultures, age is equated with wisdom. In America, it’s generally equated with being used up and being not worth paying attention to.

I’m not sure old people necessarily deserve to be revered, but they certainly don’t deserve to be ignored.[/quote]

Could not agree more. Sometimes, I wonder if our drive to separate families (like scaredy mentioned, just above) makes us distance ourselves from our parents, physically and emotionally, and disrespect elderly people, in general. I think the way we treat older people in this country is highly disturbing.

[an]

What goes around comes around. Treat others how you’d like to be treated (parents included). It’s really that simple. If you leave your parents to rot in the nursing home with no visits, you shouldn’t expect anymore from your own kids.

[Author]

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