OT: parents…any recommendations for a cartoon/video for teaching manners.

[Coronita]

Sorry for the off topic (again). BUT, are there any parents out there that can recommend a kid’s cartoon video that teaches/demonstrates proper table etiquette? I’d like to start teaching/showing my 2 year old daughter proper table etiquettes. And while the traditional show, tell, “yes”, “no” type of instructions somewhat works, she tends to love watching cartoons and mimics what she sees.

Perhaps I’m too paranoid as a parent, but I just don’t want my kid growing up to be like what you see in shows like “Roseanne”. Perhaps it’s how I was raised, but I recall my parents always saying, “you can have a lot of money, and still have no class…proper etiquette in America is extremely important, particularly being you’re asian.”

[Diego Mamani]

FLU:

The best advice I can give is that you teach your kids to stay away from TVs and videos as much as possible! But you have to teach by example, they have to see you reading, or taking up tennis, or bicycling, restoring furniture, taking music lessons. As for manners, the best way to teach is by example too: insist on saying please, thank you, holding doors for others. I know it’s easier said than done, but there are no shortcuts.

[Diego Mamani]

FLU:

The best advice I can give is that you teach your kids to stay away from TVs and videos as much as possible! But you have to teach by example, they have to see you reading, or taking up tennis, or bicycling, restoring furniture, taking music lessons. As for manners, the best way to teach is by example too: insist on saying please, thank you, holding doors for others. I know it’s easier said than done, but there are no shortcuts.

[Diego Mamani]

FLU:

The best advice I can give is that you teach your kids to stay away from TVs and videos as much as possible! But you have to teach by example, they have to see you reading, or taking up tennis, or bicycling, restoring furniture, taking music lessons. As for manners, the best way to teach is by example too: insist on saying please, thank you, holding doors for others. I know it’s easier said than done, but there are no shortcuts.

[Diego Mamani]

FLU:

The best advice I can give is that you teach your kids to stay away from TVs and videos as much as possible! But you have to teach by example, they have to see you reading, or taking up tennis, or bicycling, restoring furniture, taking music lessons. As for manners, the best way to teach is by example too: insist on saying please, thank you, holding doors for others. I know it’s easier said than done, but there are no shortcuts.

[Diego Mamani]

FLU:

The best advice I can give is that you teach your kids to stay away from TVs and videos as much as possible! But you have to teach by example, they have to see you reading, or taking up tennis, or bicycling, restoring furniture, taking music lessons. As for manners, the best way to teach is by example too: insist on saying please, thank you, holding doors for others. I know it’s easier said than done, but there are no shortcuts.

[sdduuuude]

I must agree – cartoons are not the way to teach manners.

But lets back up a step. Teaching a two-year old manners is a bit like trying to teach a pig to sing – it doesn’t work and it annoys the pig. But, just because it is difficult (i.e. impossible) doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start young.

Just realize that with a 2-year old, getting them to not throw fits when they want something that is physically or practically impossible is a remarkable achievement in manners. And if you can do that, when they are older, they will adopt manners with ease.

Of course, leading by example is important, but teaching by natural consequences is also key – i.e. if they don’t use their manners, they don’t get what they want. They don’t say “Thank you” when a gift is received, they have to give it back. This is not “yes”, “no” instructions, but real consequences for real actions. Daily and hourly reinforcement and interactive practice with real people, not TVs is best.

With a 2-year old you have a difficult choice to make. Either 1) she runs the house and you do whatever she wants to avoid her throwing a fit, falling deeper and deeper in to a downward spiral of reactionary “fit prevention” behavior or 2) You live with the fits, make sure she doesn’t get what she wants when she is throwing a fit and realize that when she throws a fit and doesn’t get what she wants, she is learning manners.

[Coronita]

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I'm trying not to let her watch any tv. But at  the same time, I don't want her to be completely sheltered either. She apparently likes your typical SS characters (elmo etc)… Just thought it might help enforce things I'm already trying to teach…At 2, yes I'm currently with the "teach but dealing with the fit" approach.

The problem i have isn't that when I say no, she throws a fit (ok sometimes). The problem is most often or not, when I say no, she asks "why?"

 

[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]

—– Sour grapes for everyone!

[an]

The problem i have isn’t that when I say no, she throws a fit (ok sometimes). The problem is most often or not, when I say no, she asks “why?”

I’m not a parent yet, so I don’t have first hand knowledge, but I’d think that this is not really a bad thing, right? Kids are curious. If they question “why” instead of throwing a fit, that just mean they’re learning and they want to know the reasons behind your decision. This might allow you to keep a more open communication relationship w/ her as well. The worse you can do is say, “because I said so!”. :-), I always hated that, still do, hehe.

[an]

The problem i have isn’t that when I say no, she throws a fit (ok sometimes). The problem is most often or not, when I say no, she asks “why?”

I’m not a parent yet, so I don’t have first hand knowledge, but I’d think that this is not really a bad thing, right? Kids are curious. If they question “why” instead of throwing a fit, that just mean they’re learning and they want to know the reasons behind your decision. This might allow you to keep a more open communication relationship w/ her as well. The worse you can do is say, “because I said so!”. :-), I always hated that, still do, hehe.

[an]

The problem i have isn’t that when I say no, she throws a fit (ok sometimes). The problem is most often or not, when I say no, she asks “why?”

I’m not a parent yet, so I don’t have first hand knowledge, but I’d think that this is not really a bad thing, right? Kids are curious. If they question “why” instead of throwing a fit, that just mean they’re learning and they want to know the reasons behind your decision. This might allow you to keep a more open communication relationship w/ her as well. The worse you can do is say, “because I said so!”. :-), I always hated that, still do, hehe.

[an]

The problem i have isn’t that when I say no, she throws a fit (ok sometimes). The problem is most often or not, when I say no, she asks “why?”

I’m not a parent yet, so I don’t have first hand knowledge, but I’d think that this is not really a bad thing, right? Kids are curious. If they question “why” instead of throwing a fit, that just mean they’re learning and they want to know the reasons behind your decision. This might allow you to keep a more open communication relationship w/ her as well. The worse you can do is say, “because I said so!”. :-), I always hated that, still do, hehe.

[an]

The problem i have isn’t that when I say no, she throws a fit (ok sometimes). The problem is most often or not, when I say no, she asks “why?”

I’m not a parent yet, so I don’t have first hand knowledge, but I’d think that this is not really a bad thing, right? Kids are curious. If they question “why” instead of throwing a fit, that just mean they’re learning and they want to know the reasons behind your decision. This might allow you to keep a more open communication relationship w/ her as well. The worse you can do is say, “because I said so!”. :-), I always hated that, still do, hehe.

[CavalierLion]

I suggest Terrance and Phillip cartoons.

As for manners, TV programs are worthless. Teach by example, and then have her do Cotillion when she’s old enough. We’re from the south, and most the kids my kids went to school with did Cotillion. Positive peer pressure works wonders. They all have exceptional manners now (Far better than mine)

[cashflow]

My one daughter is now 3. I get complimented on her always using, please and thank you. I won’t take all the credit for that as I think some kids are easier to get to do certain things, but I always try and remind her if she forgets to be curtious, I also don’t respond when she’s whining at me. I tell her that she’s whining and she needs to ask nicely ‘please or thankyou’…so reinforcement of the behavior.

As for table manners, that’s out the window at this age…we’re happy if we can just get her to eat (she’s always been a terrible eater.) When visiting family they were appalled at me running after her with bites of food and that’s when I realized I catered to this bad table manners (or should I say, total lack of them), so we have implemented a new routine. I think it’s just asking them to do what you want and then following through with any consequences.

I have found that when it comes to behavior that you want to reinforce…books are the Best! You can find all sorts of books on manners. We have a book on an angel that visits when the little girl is naughty all day long, and I can’t tell you how much impact that had on our 3 year old. When she’s naughty we talk about the characters in the book and how it makes each feel…you can really see her thinking and trying to understand. I think it just gives some validation to what you are asking them to do.

Just my 2 cents…..

[amy]

I have a 2 yr old, an almost 4 yr old and an almost 6 yr old – all boys. They all have pretty good manners, but I am always encouraging consistency. There are a couple of books that we all (kids & adults) love that have also reinforced they what & why of manners for kids…”Time To Say Please” by Mo Willems (the guy who wrote “Knuffle Bunny” and many other great books) and “Do Unto Otters” by Laurie Keller (who wrote “Scrambled States of America” – another favorite). Also, my two oldest boys are taking karate now which also reinforces respect & manners. Karate might be too young for your child – Jake was 3.5 when he started and he’s just now getting the hang of it. The right preschool can really help too – for some reason kids seem to listen better when it’s not their parents teaching them! 🙂 Good luck & kudos for making the effort!

[svelte]

Our kids learned all the manners they needed from The Simpsons.

🙂 Seriously, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this: it is fairly easy to predict what a parent’s demeanor will be before you even meet them simply by watching their child, especially when the kids get into double-digit ages. My point: act as you want your child to act and they’ll pick it right up. Be respectful, courteous, and even tempered to your child and others and your kids will soak it in by example.

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.
Socrates (469 BC – 399 BC)

[zk]

FLU,

My wife is Chinese, and her sister’s kids (and their Chinese cousins on their father’s side) all chew with their mouths open. Most Chinese people (Chinese by culture, not by race) chew with their mouths open. In their culture, as I’m sure you know, it is not improper to do so.

I’ve tried to get my wife to point out to her sister that in our culture, chewing with your mouth open is improper and that using the proper fork and saying please and thank you will all be nullified and then some if they chew with their mouths open. (They don’t just chew with their mouths open; they suckle and gurgle and smack and make all kinds of noises, as do lots of Chinese. It’s not that they’re rude; it’s just that it’s not considered rude in their culture). And if they’re not taught that that’s not acceptable in America, they’ll never learn different, and they’ll never know why nobody invites them to lunch.

Anyway, I figure that since you’re so concerned about manners, you probably know to teach your children to chew with their mouths closed. But I thought I’d mention it just in case.

[zk]

FLU,

My wife is Chinese, and her sister’s kids (and their Chinese cousins on their father’s side) all chew with their mouths open. Most Chinese people (Chinese by culture, not by race) chew with their mouths open. In their culture, as I’m sure you know, it is not improper to do so.

I’ve tried to get my wife to point out to her sister that in our culture, chewing with your mouth open is improper and that using the proper fork and saying please and thank you will all be nullified and then some if they chew with their mouths open. (They don’t just chew with their mouths open; they suckle and gurgle and smack and make all kinds of noises, as do lots of Chinese. It’s not that they’re rude; it’s just that it’s not considered rude in their culture). And if they’re not taught that that’s not acceptable in America, they’ll never learn different, and they’ll never know why nobody invites them to lunch.

Anyway, I figure that since you’re so concerned about manners, you probably know to teach your children to chew with their mouths closed. But I thought I’d mention it just in case.

[zk]

FLU,

My wife is Chinese, and her sister’s kids (and their Chinese cousins on their father’s side) all chew with their mouths open. Most Chinese people (Chinese by culture, not by race) chew with their mouths open. In their culture, as I’m sure you know, it is not improper to do so.

I’ve tried to get my wife to point out to her sister that in our culture, chewing with your mouth open is improper and that using the proper fork and saying please and thank you will all be nullified and then some if they chew with their mouths open. (They don’t just chew with their mouths open; they suckle and gurgle and smack and make all kinds of noises, as do lots of Chinese. It’s not that they’re rude; it’s just that it’s not considered rude in their culture). And if they’re not taught that that’s not acceptable in America, they’ll never learn different, and they’ll never know why nobody invites them to lunch.

Anyway, I figure that since you’re so concerned about manners, you probably know to teach your children to chew with their mouths closed. But I thought I’d mention it just in case.

[zk]

FLU,

My wife is Chinese, and her sister’s kids (and their Chinese cousins on their father’s side) all chew with their mouths open. Most Chinese people (Chinese by culture, not by race) chew with their mouths open. In their culture, as I’m sure you know, it is not improper to do so.

I’ve tried to get my wife to point out to her sister that in our culture, chewing with your mouth open is improper and that using the proper fork and saying please and thank you will all be nullified and then some if they chew with their mouths open. (They don’t just chew with their mouths open; they suckle and gurgle and smack and make all kinds of noises, as do lots of Chinese. It’s not that they’re rude; it’s just that it’s not considered rude in their culture). And if they’re not taught that that’s not acceptable in America, they’ll never learn different, and they’ll never know why nobody invites them to lunch.

Anyway, I figure that since you’re so concerned about manners, you probably know to teach your children to chew with their mouths closed. But I thought I’d mention it just in case.

[zk]

FLU,

My wife is Chinese, and her sister’s kids (and their Chinese cousins on their father’s side) all chew with their mouths open. Most Chinese people (Chinese by culture, not by race) chew with their mouths open. In their culture, as I’m sure you know, it is not improper to do so.

I’ve tried to get my wife to point out to her sister that in our culture, chewing with your mouth open is improper and that using the proper fork and saying please and thank you will all be nullified and then some if they chew with their mouths open. (They don’t just chew with their mouths open; they suckle and gurgle and smack and make all kinds of noises, as do lots of Chinese. It’s not that they’re rude; it’s just that it’s not considered rude in their culture). And if they’re not taught that that’s not acceptable in America, they’ll never learn different, and they’ll never know why nobody invites them to lunch.

Anyway, I figure that since you’re so concerned about manners, you probably know to teach your children to chew with their mouths closed. But I thought I’d mention it just in case.

[svelte]

Our kids learned all the manners they needed from The Simpsons.

🙂 Seriously, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this: it is fairly easy to predict what a parent’s demeanor will be before you even meet them simply by watching their child, especially when the kids get into double-digit ages. My point: act as you want your child to act and they’ll pick it right up. Be respectful, courteous, and even tempered to your child and others and your kids will soak it in by example.

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.
Socrates (469 BC – 399 BC)

[svelte]

Our kids learned all the manners they needed from The Simpsons.

🙂 Seriously, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this: it is fairly easy to predict what a parent’s demeanor will be before you even meet them simply by watching their child, especially when the kids get into double-digit ages. My point: act as you want your child to act and they’ll pick it right up. Be respectful, courteous, and even tempered to your child and others and your kids will soak it in by example.

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.
Socrates (469 BC – 399 BC)

[svelte]

Our kids learned all the manners they needed from The Simpsons.

🙂 Seriously, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this: it is fairly easy to predict what a parent’s demeanor will be before you even meet them simply by watching their child, especially when the kids get into double-digit ages. My point: act as you want your child to act and they’ll pick it right up. Be respectful, courteous, and even tempered to your child and others and your kids will soak it in by example.

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.
Socrates (469 BC – 399 BC)

[svelte]

Our kids learned all the manners they needed from The Simpsons.

🙂 Seriously, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this: it is fairly easy to predict what a parent’s demeanor will be before you even meet them simply by watching their child, especially when the kids get into double-digit ages. My point: act as you want your child to act and they’ll pick it right up. Be respectful, courteous, and even tempered to your child and others and your kids will soak it in by example.

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.
Socrates (469 BC – 399 BC)

[amy]

I have a 2 yr old, an almost 4 yr old and an almost 6 yr old – all boys. They all have pretty good manners, but I am always encouraging consistency. There are a couple of books that we all (kids & adults) love that have also reinforced they what & why of manners for kids…”Time To Say Please” by Mo Willems (the guy who wrote “Knuffle Bunny” and many other great books) and “Do Unto Otters” by Laurie Keller (who wrote “Scrambled States of America” – another favorite). Also, my two oldest boys are taking karate now which also reinforces respect & manners. Karate might be too young for your child – Jake was 3.5 when he started and he’s just now getting the hang of it. The right preschool can really help too – for some reason kids seem to listen better when it’s not their parents teaching them! 🙂 Good luck & kudos for making the effort!

[amy]

I have a 2 yr old, an almost 4 yr old and an almost 6 yr old – all boys. They all have pretty good manners, but I am always encouraging consistency. There are a couple of books that we all (kids & adults) love that have also reinforced they what & why of manners for kids…”Time To Say Please” by Mo Willems (the guy who wrote “Knuffle Bunny” and many other great books) and “Do Unto Otters” by Laurie Keller (who wrote “Scrambled States of America” – another favorite). Also, my two oldest boys are taking karate now which also reinforces respect & manners. Karate might be too young for your child – Jake was 3.5 when he started and he’s just now getting the hang of it. The right preschool can really help too – for some reason kids seem to listen better when it’s not their parents teaching them! 🙂 Good luck & kudos for making the effort!

[amy]

I have a 2 yr old, an almost 4 yr old and an almost 6 yr old – all boys. They all have pretty good manners, but I am always encouraging consistency. There are a couple of books that we all (kids & adults) love that have also reinforced they what & why of manners for kids…”Time To Say Please” by Mo Willems (the guy who wrote “Knuffle Bunny” and many other great books) and “Do Unto Otters” by Laurie Keller (who wrote “Scrambled States of America” – another favorite). Also, my two oldest boys are taking karate now which also reinforces respect & manners. Karate might be too young for your child – Jake was 3.5 when he started and he’s just now getting the hang of it. The right preschool can really help too – for some reason kids seem to listen better when it’s not their parents teaching them! 🙂 Good luck & kudos for making the effort!

[amy]

I have a 2 yr old, an almost 4 yr old and an almost 6 yr old – all boys. They all have pretty good manners, but I am always encouraging consistency. There are a couple of books that we all (kids & adults) love that have also reinforced they what & why of manners for kids…”Time To Say Please” by Mo Willems (the guy who wrote “Knuffle Bunny” and many other great books) and “Do Unto Otters” by Laurie Keller (who wrote “Scrambled States of America” – another favorite). Also, my two oldest boys are taking karate now which also reinforces respect & manners. Karate might be too young for your child – Jake was 3.5 when he started and he’s just now getting the hang of it. The right preschool can really help too – for some reason kids seem to listen better when it’s not their parents teaching them! 🙂 Good luck & kudos for making the effort!

[cashflow]

My one daughter is now 3. I get complimented on her always using, please and thank you. I won’t take all the credit for that as I think some kids are easier to get to do certain things, but I always try and remind her if she forgets to be curtious, I also don’t respond when she’s whining at me. I tell her that she’s whining and she needs to ask nicely ‘please or thankyou’…so reinforcement of the behavior.

As for table manners, that’s out the window at this age…we’re happy if we can just get her to eat (she’s always been a terrible eater.) When visiting family they were appalled at me running after her with bites of food and that’s when I realized I catered to this bad table manners (or should I say, total lack of them), so we have implemented a new routine. I think it’s just asking them to do what you want and then following through with any consequences.

I have found that when it comes to behavior that you want to reinforce…books are the Best! You can find all sorts of books on manners. We have a book on an angel that visits when the little girl is naughty all day long, and I can’t tell you how much impact that had on our 3 year old. When she’s naughty we talk about the characters in the book and how it makes each feel…you can really see her thinking and trying to understand. I think it just gives some validation to what you are asking them to do.

Just my 2 cents…..

[cashflow]

My one daughter is now 3. I get complimented on her always using, please and thank you. I won’t take all the credit for that as I think some kids are easier to get to do certain things, but I always try and remind her if she forgets to be curtious, I also don’t respond when she’s whining at me. I tell her that she’s whining and she needs to ask nicely ‘please or thankyou’…so reinforcement of the behavior.

As for table manners, that’s out the window at this age…we’re happy if we can just get her to eat (she’s always been a terrible eater.) When visiting family they were appalled at me running after her with bites of food and that’s when I realized I catered to this bad table manners (or should I say, total lack of them), so we have implemented a new routine. I think it’s just asking them to do what you want and then following through with any consequences.

I have found that when it comes to behavior that you want to reinforce…books are the Best! You can find all sorts of books on manners. We have a book on an angel that visits when the little girl is naughty all day long, and I can’t tell you how much impact that had on our 3 year old. When she’s naughty we talk about the characters in the book and how it makes each feel…you can really see her thinking and trying to understand. I think it just gives some validation to what you are asking them to do.

Just my 2 cents…..

[cashflow]

My one daughter is now 3. I get complimented on her always using, please and thank you. I won’t take all the credit for that as I think some kids are easier to get to do certain things, but I always try and remind her if she forgets to be curtious, I also don’t respond when she’s whining at me. I tell her that she’s whining and she needs to ask nicely ‘please or thankyou’…so reinforcement of the behavior.

As for table manners, that’s out the window at this age…we’re happy if we can just get her to eat (she’s always been a terrible eater.) When visiting family they were appalled at me running after her with bites of food and that’s when I realized I catered to this bad table manners (or should I say, total lack of them), so we have implemented a new routine. I think it’s just asking them to do what you want and then following through with any consequences.

I have found that when it comes to behavior that you want to reinforce…books are the Best! You can find all sorts of books on manners. We have a book on an angel that visits when the little girl is naughty all day long, and I can’t tell you how much impact that had on our 3 year old. When she’s naughty we talk about the characters in the book and how it makes each feel…you can really see her thinking and trying to understand. I think it just gives some validation to what you are asking them to do.

Just my 2 cents…..

[cashflow]

My one daughter is now 3. I get complimented on her always using, please and thank you. I won’t take all the credit for that as I think some kids are easier to get to do certain things, but I always try and remind her if she forgets to be curtious, I also don’t respond when she’s whining at me. I tell her that she’s whining and she needs to ask nicely ‘please or thankyou’…so reinforcement of the behavior.

As for table manners, that’s out the window at this age…we’re happy if we can just get her to eat (she’s always been a terrible eater.) When visiting family they were appalled at me running after her with bites of food and that’s when I realized I catered to this bad table manners (or should I say, total lack of them), so we have implemented a new routine. I think it’s just asking them to do what you want and then following through with any consequences.

I have found that when it comes to behavior that you want to reinforce…books are the Best! You can find all sorts of books on manners. We have a book on an angel that visits when the little girl is naughty all day long, and I can’t tell you how much impact that had on our 3 year old. When she’s naughty we talk about the characters in the book and how it makes each feel…you can really see her thinking and trying to understand. I think it just gives some validation to what you are asking them to do.

Just my 2 cents…..

[CavalierLion]

I suggest Terrance and Phillip cartoons.

As for manners, TV programs are worthless. Teach by example, and then have her do Cotillion when she’s old enough. We’re from the south, and most the kids my kids went to school with did Cotillion. Positive peer pressure works wonders. They all have exceptional manners now (Far better than mine)

[CavalierLion]

I suggest Terrance and Phillip cartoons.

As for manners, TV programs are worthless. Teach by example, and then have her do Cotillion when she’s old enough. We’re from the south, and most the kids my kids went to school with did Cotillion. Positive peer pressure works wonders. They all have exceptional manners now (Far better than mine)

[CavalierLion]

I suggest Terrance and Phillip cartoons.

As for manners, TV programs are worthless. Teach by example, and then have her do Cotillion when she’s old enough. We’re from the south, and most the kids my kids went to school with did Cotillion. Positive peer pressure works wonders. They all have exceptional manners now (Far better than mine)

[CavalierLion]

I suggest Terrance and Phillip cartoons.

As for manners, TV programs are worthless. Teach by example, and then have her do Cotillion when she’s old enough. We’re from the south, and most the kids my kids went to school with did Cotillion. Positive peer pressure works wonders. They all have exceptional manners now (Far better than mine)

[Coronita]

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I'm trying not to let her watch any tv. But at  the same time, I don't want her to be completely sheltered either. She apparently likes your typical SS characters (elmo etc)… Just thought it might help enforce things I'm already trying to teach…At 2, yes I'm currently with the "teach but dealing with the fit" approach.

The problem i have isn't that when I say no, she throws a fit (ok sometimes). The problem is most often or not, when I say no, she asks "why?"

 

[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]

—– Sour grapes for everyone!

[Coronita]

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I'm trying not to let her watch any tv. But at  the same time, I don't want her to be completely sheltered either. She apparently likes your typical SS characters (elmo etc)… Just thought it might help enforce things I'm already trying to teach…At 2, yes I'm currently with the "teach but dealing with the fit" approach.

The problem i have isn't that when I say no, she throws a fit (ok sometimes). The problem is most often or not, when I say no, she asks "why?"

 

[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]

—– Sour grapes for everyone!

[Coronita]

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I'm trying not to let her watch any tv. But at  the same time, I don't want her to be completely sheltered either. She apparently likes your typical SS characters (elmo etc)… Just thought it might help enforce things I'm already trying to teach…At 2, yes I'm currently with the "teach but dealing with the fit" approach.

The problem i have isn't that when I say no, she throws a fit (ok sometimes). The problem is most often or not, when I say no, she asks "why?"

 

[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]

—– Sour grapes for everyone!

[Coronita]

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I'm trying not to let her watch any tv. But at  the same time, I don't want her to be completely sheltered either. She apparently likes your typical SS characters (elmo etc)… Just thought it might help enforce things I'm already trying to teach…At 2, yes I'm currently with the "teach but dealing with the fit" approach.

The problem i have isn't that when I say no, she throws a fit (ok sometimes). The problem is most often or not, when I say no, she asks "why?"

 

[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]

—– Sour grapes for everyone!

[sdduuuude]

I must agree – cartoons are not the way to teach manners.

But lets back up a step. Teaching a two-year old manners is a bit like trying to teach a pig to sing – it doesn’t work and it annoys the pig. But, just because it is difficult (i.e. impossible) doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start young.

Just realize that with a 2-year old, getting them to not throw fits when they want something that is physically or practically impossible is a remarkable achievement in manners. And if you can do that, when they are older, they will adopt manners with ease.

Of course, leading by example is important, but teaching by natural consequences is also key – i.e. if they don’t use their manners, they don’t get what they want. They don’t say “Thank you” when a gift is received, they have to give it back. This is not “yes”, “no” instructions, but real consequences for real actions. Daily and hourly reinforcement and interactive practice with real people, not TVs is best.

With a 2-year old you have a difficult choice to make. Either 1) she runs the house and you do whatever she wants to avoid her throwing a fit, falling deeper and deeper in to a downward spiral of reactionary “fit prevention” behavior or 2) You live with the fits, make sure she doesn’t get what she wants when she is throwing a fit and realize that when she throws a fit and doesn’t get what she wants, she is learning manners.

[sdduuuude]

I must agree – cartoons are not the way to teach manners.

But lets back up a step. Teaching a two-year old manners is a bit like trying to teach a pig to sing – it doesn’t work and it annoys the pig. But, just because it is difficult (i.e. impossible) doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start young.

Just realize that with a 2-year old, getting them to not throw fits when they want something that is physically or practically impossible is a remarkable achievement in manners. And if you can do that, when they are older, they will adopt manners with ease.

Of course, leading by example is important, but teaching by natural consequences is also key – i.e. if they don’t use their manners, they don’t get what they want. They don’t say “Thank you” when a gift is received, they have to give it back. This is not “yes”, “no” instructions, but real consequences for real actions. Daily and hourly reinforcement and interactive practice with real people, not TVs is best.

With a 2-year old you have a difficult choice to make. Either 1) she runs the house and you do whatever she wants to avoid her throwing a fit, falling deeper and deeper in to a downward spiral of reactionary “fit prevention” behavior or 2) You live with the fits, make sure she doesn’t get what she wants when she is throwing a fit and realize that when she throws a fit and doesn’t get what she wants, she is learning manners.

[sdduuuude]

I must agree – cartoons are not the way to teach manners.

But lets back up a step. Teaching a two-year old manners is a bit like trying to teach a pig to sing – it doesn’t work and it annoys the pig. But, just because it is difficult (i.e. impossible) doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start young.

Just realize that with a 2-year old, getting them to not throw fits when they want something that is physically or practically impossible is a remarkable achievement in manners. And if you can do that, when they are older, they will adopt manners with ease.

Of course, leading by example is important, but teaching by natural consequences is also key – i.e. if they don’t use their manners, they don’t get what they want. They don’t say “Thank you” when a gift is received, they have to give it back. This is not “yes”, “no” instructions, but real consequences for real actions. Daily and hourly reinforcement and interactive practice with real people, not TVs is best.

With a 2-year old you have a difficult choice to make. Either 1) she runs the house and you do whatever she wants to avoid her throwing a fit, falling deeper and deeper in to a downward spiral of reactionary “fit prevention” behavior or 2) You live with the fits, make sure she doesn’t get what she wants when she is throwing a fit and realize that when she throws a fit and doesn’t get what she wants, she is learning manners.

[sdduuuude]

I must agree – cartoons are not the way to teach manners.

But lets back up a step. Teaching a two-year old manners is a bit like trying to teach a pig to sing – it doesn’t work and it annoys the pig. But, just because it is difficult (i.e. impossible) doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start young.

Just realize that with a 2-year old, getting them to not throw fits when they want something that is physically or practically impossible is a remarkable achievement in manners. And if you can do that, when they are older, they will adopt manners with ease.

Of course, leading by example is important, but teaching by natural consequences is also key – i.e. if they don’t use their manners, they don’t get what they want. They don’t say “Thank you” when a gift is received, they have to give it back. This is not “yes”, “no” instructions, but real consequences for real actions. Daily and hourly reinforcement and interactive practice with real people, not TVs is best.

With a 2-year old you have a difficult choice to make. Either 1) she runs the house and you do whatever she wants to avoid her throwing a fit, falling deeper and deeper in to a downward spiral of reactionary “fit prevention” behavior or 2) You live with the fits, make sure she doesn’t get what she wants when she is throwing a fit and realize that when she throws a fit and doesn’t get what she wants, she is learning manners.

[eccen in esc]

eccen in esc

Buy a little toy tea set and have a little pretend tea party saying things like “pass the teapot please”, and have little napkins to place in your lap, etc and say “thank you”. Make it all a little game. Play. At that age pretend things are a fun way for a child to learn manners – and as other posters said, set good examples.

[not-so-average-joe]

Since today’s a bear day…

I always find it really helpful to read Berenstein Bears to my daughter, especially the one in which they forget their manners. Not sure they have a DVD release though.

They are fun and educational and I like most of them, except for the religious ones.

[not-so-average-joe]

Since today’s a bear day…

I always find it really helpful to read Berenstein Bears to my daughter, especially the one in which they forget their manners. Not sure they have a DVD release though.

They are fun and educational and I like most of them, except for the religious ones.

[not-so-average-joe]

Since today’s a bear day…

I always find it really helpful to read Berenstein Bears to my daughter, especially the one in which they forget their manners. Not sure they have a DVD release though.

They are fun and educational and I like most of them, except for the religious ones.

[not-so-average-joe]

Since today’s a bear day…

I always find it really helpful to read Berenstein Bears to my daughter, especially the one in which they forget their manners. Not sure they have a DVD release though.

They are fun and educational and I like most of them, except for the religious ones.

[not-so-average-joe]

Since today’s a bear day…

I always find it really helpful to read Berenstein Bears to my daughter, especially the one in which they forget their manners. Not sure they have a DVD release though.

They are fun and educational and I like most of them, except for the religious ones.

[eccen in esc]

eccen in esc

Buy a little toy tea set and have a little pretend tea party saying things like “pass the teapot please”, and have little napkins to place in your lap, etc and say “thank you”. Make it all a little game. Play. At that age pretend things are a fun way for a child to learn manners – and as other posters said, set good examples.

[eccen in esc]

eccen in esc

Buy a little toy tea set and have a little pretend tea party saying things like “pass the teapot please”, and have little napkins to place in your lap, etc and say “thank you”. Make it all a little game. Play. At that age pretend things are a fun way for a child to learn manners – and as other posters said, set good examples.

[eccen in esc]

eccen in esc

Buy a little toy tea set and have a little pretend tea party saying things like “pass the teapot please”, and have little napkins to place in your lap, etc and say “thank you”. Make it all a little game. Play. At that age pretend things are a fun way for a child to learn manners – and as other posters said, set good examples.

[eccen in esc]

eccen in esc

Buy a little toy tea set and have a little pretend tea party saying things like “pass the teapot please”, and have little napkins to place in your lap, etc and say “thank you”. Make it all a little game. Play. At that age pretend things are a fun way for a child to learn manners – and as other posters said, set good examples.

[Anonymous]

Hi, Barney Has a DVD on Marvellous Manner, my 2yr old loves it.

[Anonymous]

Hi, Barney Has a DVD on Marvellous Manner, my 2yr old loves it.

[Anonymous]

Hi, Barney Has a DVD on Marvellous Manner, my 2yr old loves it.

[Anonymous]

Hi, Barney Has a DVD on Marvellous Manner, my 2yr old loves it.

[Anonymous]

Hi, Barney Has a DVD on Marvellous Manner, my 2yr old loves it.

[Author]

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