OT: Divorce question in regards to home ownership

[patientlywaiting]

Women always complain about their kids and family life especially if it’s not a happy situation.

Women always want something such as more money, help picking up the kids, help watching the kids, help cleaning, etc…, even if they already agreed to taking custody and even after the divorce.

I know it’s sexist to say so, but women always find little things to manipulate. Something always comes up that requires “modifications”.

It’s better to give her her share and get her out of his hair. Be fair to her financially but require that she goes back to work immediately.

If she can’t handle custody of the kids (which she will most likely demand) then take care of them himself, pay her alimony and say goodbye. But don’t let her nag and manipulate. Set up the responsibilities clearly and hold her to the agreement. He should make sure that he lives up to his end of bargain also, so not to give her any opportunity to complain.

Lay down the law and don’t deviate.

TG must be nuts to suggest that the dad continue to live in the same household with the mom until the kids grow up. That would be torture!

BTW, I’m not a bitter husband but I’ve seen too many divorces and I know how they usually go.

[EconProf]

1. Acknowledge that they have already lost X amount on the property. That is a sunk cost…done & gone.
2. Acknowledge that amount X is undoubtedly much greater, due to ongoing decline of 1 – 2% per month until sold, which may be many months.
3. Possibly prepare to walk, absorb the hit to credit, but begin getting liquid & prepared to do without credit cards, spend on a cash basis for many years, etc.
4. In light of finances, reconsider: Can this marriage be saved?

[EconProf]

1. Acknowledge that they have already lost X amount on the property. That is a sunk cost…done & gone.
2. Acknowledge that amount X is undoubtedly much greater, due to ongoing decline of 1 – 2% per month until sold, which may be many months.
3. Possibly prepare to walk, absorb the hit to credit, but begin getting liquid & prepared to do without credit cards, spend on a cash basis for many years, etc.
4. In light of finances, reconsider: Can this marriage be saved?

[EconProf]

1. Acknowledge that they have already lost X amount on the property. That is a sunk cost…done & gone.
2. Acknowledge that amount X is undoubtedly much greater, due to ongoing decline of 1 – 2% per month until sold, which may be many months.
3. Possibly prepare to walk, absorb the hit to credit, but begin getting liquid & prepared to do without credit cards, spend on a cash basis for many years, etc.
4. In light of finances, reconsider: Can this marriage be saved?

[EconProf]

1. Acknowledge that they have already lost X amount on the property. That is a sunk cost…done & gone.
2. Acknowledge that amount X is undoubtedly much greater, due to ongoing decline of 1 – 2% per month until sold, which may be many months.
3. Possibly prepare to walk, absorb the hit to credit, but begin getting liquid & prepared to do without credit cards, spend on a cash basis for many years, etc.
4. In light of finances, reconsider: Can this marriage be saved?

[EconProf]

1. Acknowledge that they have already lost X amount on the property. That is a sunk cost…done & gone.
2. Acknowledge that amount X is undoubtedly much greater, due to ongoing decline of 1 – 2% per month until sold, which may be many months.
3. Possibly prepare to walk, absorb the hit to credit, but begin getting liquid & prepared to do without credit cards, spend on a cash basis for many years, etc.
4. In light of finances, reconsider: Can this marriage be saved?

[CA renter]

Knowing that I really shouldn’t venture into this argument, but can’t help myself…

Firstly, anyone who calls a stay-at-home parent a “whiner” or says they “don’t work” has never done it before.

I’ve worked in the public sector, private sector and as a SAHP, and being a SAHP is **by far** the most difficult job around. If you disagree, then volunteer your time to “not work” for one of those slacker moms/dads on a daily basis, for an extended period of time. You shouldn’t mind a bit, because it’s “not work.” You wouldn’t be paid, naturally, because it’s just like a vacation (according to you).

We don’t know if the husband or wife was cheating or physically abusive or an addict who spent all their money on drugs or alcohol (these people should lose all rights to any money and custody, IMHO), what the original agreement was WRT parenting the child, etc. If they both agreed that their child would have a parent home, then that agreement should stick.

Also, it looks like the WIFE paid 80% of the down payment, so how in the world did you come up with the idea that he should be entitled to the home???

This is a loser, no matter what. They need to dump the townhome and be done with it. EVERYBODY loses in a divorce because the total family income is split into fractions while the costs rise (two households on the income that supported one household). That’s why both parties tend to think the other one ripped them off.

Ultimately, when a couple has children, they should be obligated to do everything in their power to make the marriage work. Their child will suffer, no matter how “friendly” the divorce.

[CA renter]

Knowing that I really shouldn’t venture into this argument, but can’t help myself…

Firstly, anyone who calls a stay-at-home parent a “whiner” or says they “don’t work” has never done it before.

I’ve worked in the public sector, private sector and as a SAHP, and being a SAHP is **by far** the most difficult job around. If you disagree, then volunteer your time to “not work” for one of those slacker moms/dads on a daily basis, for an extended period of time. You shouldn’t mind a bit, because it’s “not work.” You wouldn’t be paid, naturally, because it’s just like a vacation (according to you).

We don’t know if the husband or wife was cheating or physically abusive or an addict who spent all their money on drugs or alcohol (these people should lose all rights to any money and custody, IMHO), what the original agreement was WRT parenting the child, etc. If they both agreed that their child would have a parent home, then that agreement should stick.

Also, it looks like the WIFE paid 80% of the down payment, so how in the world did you come up with the idea that he should be entitled to the home???

This is a loser, no matter what. They need to dump the townhome and be done with it. EVERYBODY loses in a divorce because the total family income is split into fractions while the costs rise (two households on the income that supported one household). That’s why both parties tend to think the other one ripped them off.

Ultimately, when a couple has children, they should be obligated to do everything in their power to make the marriage work. Their child will suffer, no matter how “friendly” the divorce.

[CA renter]

Knowing that I really shouldn’t venture into this argument, but can’t help myself…

Firstly, anyone who calls a stay-at-home parent a “whiner” or says they “don’t work” has never done it before.

I’ve worked in the public sector, private sector and as a SAHP, and being a SAHP is **by far** the most difficult job around. If you disagree, then volunteer your time to “not work” for one of those slacker moms/dads on a daily basis, for an extended period of time. You shouldn’t mind a bit, because it’s “not work.” You wouldn’t be paid, naturally, because it’s just like a vacation (according to you).

We don’t know if the husband or wife was cheating or physically abusive or an addict who spent all their money on drugs or alcohol (these people should lose all rights to any money and custody, IMHO), what the original agreement was WRT parenting the child, etc. If they both agreed that their child would have a parent home, then that agreement should stick.

Also, it looks like the WIFE paid 80% of the down payment, so how in the world did you come up with the idea that he should be entitled to the home???

This is a loser, no matter what. They need to dump the townhome and be done with it. EVERYBODY loses in a divorce because the total family income is split into fractions while the costs rise (two households on the income that supported one household). That’s why both parties tend to think the other one ripped them off.

Ultimately, when a couple has children, they should be obligated to do everything in their power to make the marriage work. Their child will suffer, no matter how “friendly” the divorce.

[CA renter]

Knowing that I really shouldn’t venture into this argument, but can’t help myself…

Firstly, anyone who calls a stay-at-home parent a “whiner” or says they “don’t work” has never done it before.

I’ve worked in the public sector, private sector and as a SAHP, and being a SAHP is **by far** the most difficult job around. If you disagree, then volunteer your time to “not work” for one of those slacker moms/dads on a daily basis, for an extended period of time. You shouldn’t mind a bit, because it’s “not work.” You wouldn’t be paid, naturally, because it’s just like a vacation (according to you).

We don’t know if the husband or wife was cheating or physically abusive or an addict who spent all their money on drugs or alcohol (these people should lose all rights to any money and custody, IMHO), what the original agreement was WRT parenting the child, etc. If they both agreed that their child would have a parent home, then that agreement should stick.

Also, it looks like the WIFE paid 80% of the down payment, so how in the world did you come up with the idea that he should be entitled to the home???

This is a loser, no matter what. They need to dump the townhome and be done with it. EVERYBODY loses in a divorce because the total family income is split into fractions while the costs rise (two households on the income that supported one household). That’s why both parties tend to think the other one ripped them off.

Ultimately, when a couple has children, they should be obligated to do everything in their power to make the marriage work. Their child will suffer, no matter how “friendly” the divorce.

[CA renter]

Knowing that I really shouldn’t venture into this argument, but can’t help myself…

Firstly, anyone who calls a stay-at-home parent a “whiner” or says they “don’t work” has never done it before.

I’ve worked in the public sector, private sector and as a SAHP, and being a SAHP is **by far** the most difficult job around. If you disagree, then volunteer your time to “not work” for one of those slacker moms/dads on a daily basis, for an extended period of time. You shouldn’t mind a bit, because it’s “not work.” You wouldn’t be paid, naturally, because it’s just like a vacation (according to you).

We don’t know if the husband or wife was cheating or physically abusive or an addict who spent all their money on drugs or alcohol (these people should lose all rights to any money and custody, IMHO), what the original agreement was WRT parenting the child, etc. If they both agreed that their child would have a parent home, then that agreement should stick.

Also, it looks like the WIFE paid 80% of the down payment, so how in the world did you come up with the idea that he should be entitled to the home???

This is a loser, no matter what. They need to dump the townhome and be done with it. EVERYBODY loses in a divorce because the total family income is split into fractions while the costs rise (two households on the income that supported one household). That’s why both parties tend to think the other one ripped them off.

Ultimately, when a couple has children, they should be obligated to do everything in their power to make the marriage work. Their child will suffer, no matter how “friendly” the divorce.

[PadreBrian]

The good news is the kid is almost to the age of kindergarten. Mom can go back to work.

[PadreBrian]

The good news is the kid is almost to the age of kindergarten. Mom can go back to work.

[PadreBrian]

The good news is the kid is almost to the age of kindergarten. Mom can go back to work.

[PadreBrian]

The good news is the kid is almost to the age of kindergarten. Mom can go back to work.

[Author]

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