OT: All the Single Ladies

[equalizer]

Here’s a single 39 year lady who explores her dating history and argues that we should embrace new ideas about romance and family.

Opening of author’s article:
“Recent years have seen an explosion of male joblessness and a steep decline in men’s life prospects that have disrupted the “romantic market” in ways that narrow a marriage-minded woman’s options: increasingly, her choice is between deadbeats (whose numbers are rising) and playboys (whose power is growing).”

Sure, on first thought many of us would wonder about narcissistic personality disorder, but this is not a unique phenomenon in our culture today. You guys may say that this is par for the course and that nothing had changed in the last 15 years.

However, with the college entrance 57/43% female/male ratio and the decline of the middle class male prospects, could this philosophy dramatically alter future demographics? Will TG have to stop being selfish and have to have one woman on each arm?

I think poster “Archdukechocula” on Atlantic blog sums up my thoughts more eloquently than I could.

“The problem right now is, everyone has been taught to believe that only the ideal mate is acceptable. But, naturally, only a very small percentage of the population falls anywhere in the “ideal” category. Therefore, it is a seller’s market. Those who have high value qualities are in very high demand. It is why rich energetic men can play the field with ease and why sexy young women willing to sell their sexuality via the media can command a very high price on the market. But for the bottom 80% of men who aren’t well educated stable high income earners and the bottom 80% of women now trying to find a partner but who have passed their most attractive years are both finding it difficult to get what they want. They have unreasonable expectations for what they can get relative to the actual demand for their traits. This isn’t something mysterious. It is a large shift in supply and demand resulting from the creation of a “free” market that was made possible by the Women’s Rights movement.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/8654/

[CDMA ENG]

Can I unbump this?

[briansd1]

People are not entitled to live in a good “ideal” house, are they?

To follow that thinking, people are not entitled to find a good mate. If they don’t have the right currency, it goes without saying that they should go without, or that they should settle for less than ideal.

[temeculaguy]

I’m terrible at multitasking, I can’t handle one on each arm, it’s more of a novelty and totally overrated.

I think articles like that are inflammatory to a certain extent. Most men are good people and most women are not unrealistic. Were just humans who want to fall madly in love and be loved back.

Did you throw up a little bit in your mouth after reading that, I did. But there’s a little bit of truth in that statement.

I’ve done exhaustive first hand research on this topic, after many years I’ve figured it out. It’s unfortunate, but there is not a single woman’s magazine or novel or t.v. show that has the answer on how to get the man you want and how to make him never even look at another woman again.

Feel free to forward these five things to whoever the 39 year old author is, I don’t even care if i get the credit, these are the secrets of the universe and they need to be shared.

This is all a woman needs to do, to find her ideal mate and keep him, if he’s a playboy he will change and if he’s a deadbeat he will find motivation.

1. Let him be your hero- never emasculate him, allow him to feel he is the bravest and strongest man you have ever met. If he gets into a confrontation, tell him you were proud of him, if he backs down from one, tell him he was wise. Always tell him that it turned you on. If he fails, support him, if he succeeds, cherish him. This especially applies to career stuff.

2. Don’t make him pick colors or shoes- kiss him on the cheek and tell him that it makes you feel like a woman to pick out the paint color or the linens, rather than say he isn’t good at it. Tell him you like shoes because you want to look sexy for him, we are suckers for that, that’s how that woman down the street got a hundred pairs without a single complaint from her guy. The truth is we want to make you happy, use your powers for good, not evil.

3. Wear lingerie-not just the victoria secret stuff, but the fredericks stuff, the stuff with thigh highs, corsets, garters, and wear them every day and tell him you wear them for him.

4. appreciate his bad habits-if he likes cigars, buy them for him, beg him to smoke one just so you can smell it even if you hate it. When a man can have his woman and everything else he likes, he keeps his woman, don’t make him choose, because the bad habit may win. Also, let him watch football, encourage him to golf or play poker with his buddies, let him be the man he wants to be and somehow make it something that makes him think makes you love him more because of it. When he comes home, attack him instead of punishing him.

5. The bedroom- don’t make anything off limits, let him try what he saw in a movie or heard from his friends. Odds are he wont like it that much anyway so you wont have to endure whatever it is all the time. Also, be enthusiastic and appreciative, we men are so weak and vulnerable in this arena, indulge us. O.K., tell the kids to leave the room for a second this next part is R rated. Oral is a daily requirement not a birthday treat, at least as an appetizer and it’s not to be considered as or treated as a reward. Beg him to let you do it, treat it like a need you have, a gift better than flowers. And any fluid should be treated with the same enthusiasm as winning the lottery. ok, you can let the kids back in the room.

So that’s it, you do that and the world will change for you. You will find that men will fall all over themselves, they will take out the trash, they will miss football games, watch chick flicks, they will go antiquing and they will be happy to do so. It’s really simple when you think of it. Every woman has a friend that men gravitate towards and she always has suitors, that bitch is keeping this stuff a secret, she doesn’t want you to know the secrets of the universe, I want you to know. It doesn’t matter what you look like or how big or small your this or that is. Make your partner happy and they will want to make you happy and it will continue to snowball from there. BTW, twice a week does not qualify as making him happy and sex is not the only thing that makes us happy.

It usually takes women about ten years of being single to figure this out, hopefully I’ve only offended a few dozen women and more than that will read this and do something about it so we wont have to read about how there aren’t any good men out there. We are what you make us, nothing more.

[barnaby33]

TG, if you’ve offended a woman, she needed it. Not sure I agree with everything you have said but the sentiment seems honest. A bit over machismo-ized, but honest.

After being single for 2 years in SD I’ve realized this town is downright awful for being single. Its transient, its shallow, its expensive. Then there is the downside.

Oh well I suppose I’m just as guilty as those on the other side of the gender divide. A non-warpath 26-32 year old who likes paragliding or is tolerant of it. One with a penchant for travel, a decent palette for wine and someone doesn’t have some massive case of look-at-me-isms.

Its amazing how much of our discussions around mating have to do with women’s need for marriage.

[Jazzman]

[quote=equalizer] They have unreasonable expectations for what they can get relative to the actual demand for their traits.
[/quote]
Now translate that into housing market trends. Of course, now I get it. It’s the same humans.

[scaredyclassic]

There are no bad dogs only bad owners.

[briansd1]

One problem with TG’s secrets:
If a woman pleases her man and buys him cigars, beer and chicken wings she’ll end up up with a self-indulgent, dirty, fat ass guy who she won’t want to have sex with anymore.

The real unspoken secret is that it’s all about trading money, social status for good looks, kids, and stability or a combination of similar traits thereof. If you lack in one area, you have to compensate in other areas.

[Hobie]

Very nicely done TG! QED.

Print this up and this would be the perfect stocking stuffer. You would make millions.

[svelte]

It’s just starting to dawn on people, but marriage as we know it is slowly disappearing. Average marrying age is going way up, people are getting used to living life on their own, and there is not the stigma there once was.

I think that’s a good thing, actually.

I can’t imagine life without my wife, but I would still be with her even if the concept of marriage had never been invented. I’m with her because I want to be.

[Ricechex]

Love it TG!

And, Brian, as usual, your low self esteem is blatantly obvious.

[equalizer]

[quote=svelte]It’s just starting to dawn on people, but marriage as we know it is slowly disappearing. Average marrying age is going way up, people are getting used to living life on their own, and there is not the stigma there once was.

I think that’s a good thing, actually.

I can’t imagine life without my wife, but I would still be with her even if the concept of marriage had never been invented. I’m with her because I want to be.[/quote]
Freedom is a good thing, as long as it doesn’t push people into adopting cavalier attitudes towards relationships. A buddy of mine who is about 30 got divorced after 2 years because she was missing that elusive something. [At this point we need a female to list the five ways to keep the lady happy]

He was willing to work through it but she knew people who had gotten divorced so there was no longer a stigma to just giving up. At least there were no kids involved.

So how will this peeling away of stigmas affect family formation and housing demand? More luxury condos for all?

[scaredyclassic]

you cannot list how to keep a woman happy in five simple steps because it is not possible to keep a woman happy.

[Aecetia]

“The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?'”
-From Sigmund Freud: Life and Work by Ernest Jones, 1953

http://psychology.about.com/od/sigmundfreud/p/freud_women.htm

[zk]

[quote=Aecetia]”The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?'”
-From Sigmund Freud: Life and Work by Ernest Jones, 1953

http://psychology.about.com/od/sigmundfreud/p/freud_women.htm%5B/quote%5D

Yeah, well, Freud was pretty good. But he was no temeculaguy.

[Author]

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