[quote=temeculaguy]I’m terrible at multitasking, I can’t handle one on each arm, it’s more of a novelty and totally overrated.
I think articles like that are inflammatory to a certain extent. Most men are good people and most women are not unrealistic. Were just humans who want to fall madly in love and be loved back.
Did you throw up a little bit in your mouth after reading that, I did. But there’s a little bit of truth in that statement.
I’ve done exhaustive first hand research on this topic, after many years I’ve figured it out. It’s unfortunate, but there is not a single woman’s magazine or novel or t.v. show that has the answer on how to get the man you want and how to make him never even look at another woman again.
Feel free to forward these five things to whoever the 39 year old author is, I don’t even care if i get the credit, these are the secrets of the universe and they need to be shared.
This is all a woman needs to do, to find her ideal mate and keep him, if he’s a playboy he will change and if he’s a deadbeat he will find motivation.
1. Let him be your hero- never emasculate him, allow him to feel he is the bravest and strongest man you have ever met. If he gets into a confrontation, tell him you were proud of him, if he backs down from one, tell him he was wise. Always tell him that it turned you on. If he fails, support him, if he succeeds, cherish him. This especially applies to career stuff.
2. Don’t make him pick colors or shoes- kiss him on the cheek and tell him that it makes you feel like a woman to pick out the paint color or the linens, rather than say he isn’t good at it. Tell him you like shoes because you want to look sexy for him, we are suckers for that, that’s how that woman down the street got a hundred pairs without a single complaint from her guy. The truth is we want to make you happy, use your powers for good, not evil.
3. Wear lingerie-not just the victoria secret stuff, but the fredericks stuff, the stuff with thigh highs, corsets, garters, and wear them every day and tell him you wear them for him.
4. appreciate his bad habits-if he likes cigars, buy them for him, beg him to smoke one just so you can smell it even if you hate it. When a man can have his woman and everything else he likes, he keeps his woman, don’t make him choose, because the bad habit may win. Also, let him watch football, encourage him to golf or play poker with his buddies, let him be the man he wants to be and somehow make it something that makes him think makes you love him more because of it. When he comes home, attack him instead of punishing him.
5. The bedroom- don’t make anything off limits, let him try what he saw in a movie or heard from his friends. Odds are he wont like it that much anyway so you wont have to endure whatever it is all the time. Also, be enthusiastic and appreciative, we men are so weak and vulnerable in this arena, indulge us. O.K., tell the kids to leave the room for a second this next part is R rated. Oral is a daily requirement not a birthday treat, at least as an appetizer and it’s not to be considered as or treated as a reward. Beg him to let you do it, treat it like a need you have, a gift better than flowers. And any fluid should be treated with the same enthusiasm as winning the lottery. ok, you can let the kids back in the room.
So that’s it, you do that and the world will change for you. You will find that men will fall all over themselves, they will take out the trash, they will miss football games, watch chick flicks, they will go antiquing and they will be happy to do so. It’s really simple when you think of it. Every woman has a friend that men gravitate towards and she always has suitors, that bitch is keeping this stuff a secret, she doesn’t want you to know the secrets of the universe, I want you to know. It doesn’t matter what you look like or how big or small your this or that is. Make your partner happy and they will want to make you happy and it will continue to snowball from there. BTW, twice a week does not qualify as making him happy and sex is not the only thing that makes us happy.
It usually takes women about ten years of being single to figure this out, hopefully I’ve only offended a few dozen women and more than that will read this and do something about it so we wont have to read about how there aren’t any good men out there. We are what you make us, nothing more.[/quote]
As much as I hate to admit it, I think you’re 98.5% right, TG. Just have to ammend #3. You can’t be wearing that stuff around the house every day if you have kids.
Other than that, it’s a pretty decent list.
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edit: Mr. CAR just called, and I read your list to him. He is in love with you, TG. 😉
