😉 Thx. Yes, it is an enviable position which i have no intention of changing. It would be (almost) as devistating to loose the wife, as it would be to lose the kids.
As you correctly mentioned, that social ills are caused by the sprinkler syndrome (squirts bushes and leaves), i would raise that bet by saying it is the selfish side/nature of the act which can easily be perpetrated by either gender. People always wanting that little bit more, just ‘one more step up’. Where spouses and kids can be merely a fashion accessory to show off or brag about. Enrolling them in a good school becomes fashionable instead of educational when parents take little interest in the material.
It is just sad to see……and since we are on a housing forum…..it is the same attitude which evoked the term ‘starter home’ implying that moving ‘up’ is a necessity not just a luxury. It is easy to be inspired by people who bet on housing futures with no money down when they had nothing to lose. Those that didnt or werent able to unwind their position before their bets failed lost nothing…….the bag holders become the last person in the line holding the note on the loan. Systematic problem.
People who heloced and 0% downed their way into a primary residence beyond their means is indicitive of what we ‘need’ in society today. Ah well……and so it goes…
Hope you can find a way to be happy that you have your two boys, regardless of your financial condition and not qualifying it or using your sons to justify your fininacial quest against your ex. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and quit focusing your efforts on redemption in the situation with your ex.
Your boys will respect you eternally as a strong woman who held no ill-will against her fellow man (ex-husband); a woman who turned the other cheek in the face of being slighted, picked up, dusted off and carried on with style.
How much is the lesson of diligence and personal responsibilty worth to your boys? Kids are infintely better than adults at learning morals….clean slate that they are and all. Is it really worth sacrificing the moral standing of your boys for your ‘needed’ $$x,000’s per month? If you’re seeing this as a chance to show them it is worth fighting for what you believe in…….they will only see that fighting for money is worthwhile. Because that’s what it is. Courts can order money settlements, but they cant order ex-husbands to take responsibility to heart.
You are not fighting for princle, or for the love of your boys….quite the oppisite….you are fighting for revenge, satisfaction and money. Belive me, your boys won’t and arent missing that lesson at all. When you have your finger in the air wagging it at that bastard ex husband of yours, three fingers are pointing back at you.
“how much is he worth?” From your description, running off and leaving his kids, he isnt worth much at all.
The better question “how much are you worth?” And is it worth enough to take what the courts give with appreciation, without bitterness or resentment, and teach your boys a lesson they will remember forever. They will recognize the injustice, if there is one, without you having to spell it out. This alone will carve out their attitudes towards women leading them to treat women better….and, when it comes time for them to find a spouse, they’ll be looking for the ones that were cut from the same cloth as their mother with the strenth and human spirit of mom.