I second the renting idea. Rent where you are most likely to want to live. Get the wife and the kids familiar with the area. After a year the whole family can make the decision together as to where is the best spot for that permanent family home. (it doesn’t hurt that prices would be quite a bit lower in a year compared to now either).
when we first moved from OC to SD, everything looked great, the idea that a 3700 sqft golf course home can be had for $650,000 was unreal (was in Valley Center). good thing we rented because we can’t imagine being trapped in Valley Center for the next 15 years. A bit different than your situation, but similar idea.
