pablo: “As a single man, here’s my cynical take on the lunch dates: He finds you attractive but isn’t sold on you. He has other things going on in the evening that are a sure thing. He thinks if you believe he really likes you, he’ll get to see you naked. He just doesn’t want to have to cut into the valuable time he spends with the friends he’s known for years, or the other women he dates. In a nutshell, after 4 dates, he probably wants to know he’s got a decent chance of getting some if he shells out the bucks and time for a nice dinner. Given your postings, it doesn’t appear that’ll happen anytime soon for him.”
He said I’m the only one he’s dating. Of course, we all know it doesn’t mean this is truth.
There has been no agreement of exclusivity.
“Doesn’t make him a bad guy. But perhaps not the right guy for you. If you thought he was sincere about really liking you, would you sleep with him? I’m just wondering if my theory holds any water. I know it’s personal, but that ship sailed awhile ago. Best of luck.”
I only desire intimacy with men I believe like me. But, this isn’t the issue here. I think he does. I think he’s not sure I like HIM, so he doesn’t want to overspend (in his mind) until he’s sure. The other likely posibility is he’s stingy (not to be confussed with prudence), which is something I don’t like. Actually, I don’t like my first suspicion either because it means he’s lumping me into a category based on past experiences with other women. As some of you suggested though, I could be sensitive to that by telling him I’d like to do something different and he can take that info and do with it what he likes.
