granted these are celebs but I also know a couple friends who got divorced, one after 9 yrs of marriage and the other after 14 years together.
I wonder what motivated these people to divorce. One would imagine that after so much time together they would’ve learned to deal with each others quirks. Perhaps one person suddenly changed for the worse?[/quote]
It’s all a matter of perspective. Many of us would say that a two-year relationship is rather short-lived. It’s better for these two to split up now, before marriage and kids, than to split up many years later after all of their finances have been intertwined and the kids are wondering why their world is coming apart.
The devastating splits, IMHO, are the ones where the couple was married for 20, 30, even 40 years! 🙁 You’d think that they would stay married at that point just because it’s easier to leave things as they are.
It seems that there are trends in length of marriage and divorces. Many people divorce in the first 1-3 years because they were never really compatible and never broke through the you/me barrier to the we/us level. Many people refer to these marriages as “starter marriages.” As long as kids aren’t involved, these divorces can be relatively easy.
Then, there are the divorces around the 10-year mark. My guess is that the stress of finances, day-to-day living, and kids takes its toll on these marriages (kids can create a TON of stress if both people aren’t willing and able to re-prioritize their lives and redirect their energies in a way that is healthy for the family).
Finally, you have the divorces that happen when the youngest reaches around 18 years of age or graduates from college. These are the marriages where both parents stuck it out “for the kids.” These are the ones where the women usually seek the divorce, most likely because they’ve been living for other people throughout the marriage and want to “find themselves.”
These are all stereotypes, of course, but there tends to be a grain of truth in them, IMO.
