Amen brother. Wow, that is the best line ive read in this string. I wish the American system had the option of men electing to take the children full time and paying zero in alimony and child support. In the spirit of TC guys comments, any guy who opted out of that arrangement, out of negligence, should have to pay up. Women who arent willing to fight for their kids should receive nothing and in the new world order of equality a 50/50 share of the kids between parents who are parenting with no additional money changing hands should be the rule of thumb.
I have little sympathy for selfish attitudes of parents running to cuba for brides for more kids and women who ask “how much is he worth” instead of “how much do i need”. Attitudes which say $1,000 per kid is to much, vs. $1,000 doesnt go far….i know people with 3 kids who have nowhere near $36K per year in disposable income. They stay married and somehow make ends meet.
As down as each ex-spouse is down on the other is usually complimented by how high they are on themselves. i.e. “he’s a dirtbag but im a stunning long haired great cooking size 6″. And im sure his attitude is similar in reverse…..”dumped that b!t@$ but im still such a stunning good looking great guy that a 17 year old size 2 is duly impressed” Each side takes the moral high ground in a never ending battle of winless pride.
It is difficult to blame either side for trying to optimize their position. Western women have an incredibly liberal and accomadating law compared to the rest of the world, and history….yet the insatiable appitite to do better and have more rarely leads to an appreciation of one’s current position. It is also hard to blame men for going outside this system to match with women…….foreign women are much easier to deal with. So yes, men have that insatiable appitite to do better and have more also.
Unfortunately that selfish appitite obstructs what most reasonable people would agree is best for the kids.
Cant you be happy that you have your boys and that the money we “need” isnt nearly as much as what we’d like to have? I know single mothers who work for minimum wage and dont complain…..stressed? sure. But they are so happy to have their kid(s) that no amount money would replace that experience. Masking greed for money as “i need it for the kids” and a woe-is-me tragedy of self pity is a cop out and a great way to instill a sense of irresponsibility and entitlement with your sons.
You dont want your boys to end up like their father……..a selfish one sided thinker who is unwilling to see the other persons point of view and unable to sacrifce or compromise for the good of the family, partnership, team. I woudl have to agree with you there. Unfortunately, even if their father isnt around….and they wont have a chance to learn it from him…..sounds like they’ll have a good chance to learn it from their mother.
J
P.S. Yes im married. Yes i have kids. And yes i would take my kids 100% in any circumstance possible. Luckily for me, i have them, and my wife 100% right now so i dont have to choose.
