I miss all the fun. Why am I always the busiest when something like this is posted?
Anyway, your date seems to have been through a relationship that ended badly. He is probably in the "all women are bitches" phase. No offense. Actually, the fact that he's seeing you should be a complement because it means he probably thinks your attractive and interesting, and under normal circumstances would actually treat you pretty well. Unfortunately, he's probably not looking for a commitment in the short term and in fact probably will treat you like sh!t not so much because anything you say or do. But because you're just in the wrong time. What he probably needs in the long run is someone caring and considerate, but he doesn't seem ready to deal right now.
Regarding prenups. Prior to my wife and i getting married, I thought about prenups. In my experience, prenups are something a guy says firmly before hitched, but when it really comes down to it, it's easier said than done. In my particular case, it wasn't an issue because like i said before my wife and I were pretty much even financially and careerwise. In fact, in some point in time, she probably had more assets than me. If she had asked for a prenup herself, I wouldn't have really mind, because frankly I think what is mine before marriage is really mine and what is hers before marriage is really hers. In the long run, if things work out it doesn't really matter. And neither of us were really cheap to the other person.
Things do get interesting though. It's not about the money. It's about respect… For example, for awhile we argued about whether to let her parents move here permanently. I wasn't a big fan of it because they can't drive, get around, and felt it would be a huge burden in addition to a kid. She obviously wanted to be closer to her parents. Financially, there were times that I could tell she wanted to say "I can afford to buy my parents their own place damnit, so leave me alone". But I have to say she took the high road and understood that would leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth….that would lead to both of us saying to each other "the hell with you, I'm deciding whatever I want and I don't give a damn". For that reason, it's the same reason why I won't go spend money on a new car even if I could without running it by her, or she wouldn't make big purchases without running it by me. It's not the money alone, it's the acknowledgement of respect that you would listen and consider the others feelings.
Here lies your problem. Longer term…You need to figure out if the guy is doing what he's doing because he was burned and just trying to be careful, or is it just an excuse for him to treat you like sh!t. I mean money aside, there is a degree of respect, and there shouldn't be a price on that one way of the other. I wouldn't necessarily be taking dates out to 5 star restaurants, but I wouldn't exactly take her to mcdonald's either. And there are some people that are broken and aren't going to come around no matter how accomodating you try to be.
That said, 4 dates is hardly something to be falling for someone over right away. Personally, I was always impressed by girls that asked me out on a date and took me to a reasonable place. Or in the case of my wife, inviting herself over to my place after I relocated to the bay area after just meeting me 2 weeks prior at my going away party. Poor girl didn't realize then what a pain in the ass i can be at times .
Some advice, next time you date someone new, ask him how HE would feel about signing a prenup. That will get him interested, and don't tell him the details of what you do. That will be interesting.
