well, i was just putting it from the guy’s perspective, cause that’s the one i feel more acutely, i agree and respect there are two sides to the coin, it takes two to tango (though only one to hop around and dance like an idiot). i wasnt trying to negate women’s bitternesses or justifiable grudges.

the more I think about it, the more acute i think your situation is. the “village” feel you claim you are seeking in some bland SD suburb will be a pale, unsatisfying substitute for the real village you want. the village of your people, your village people, all those crazy relatives, that sense of really really belonging, not fake ass belonging, not some country club village green bullshit, but yourreal, real FAMILY…..and more important, your KIDS family! you want to get a phone call someone DIEd who you ahven’t seen for a year or so cause you were busy with this and that? NO. you want people to be dropping by every Sunday night for dinner. you want them AROUND.

and all he has is he doesn’t like the NY metro area?

well, Im kind of on his side, i hate NYC too, but i hate everywhere sort of. except my house i love my house.

this is not going to end well without a serious discussion, either in or out of the counseling office. it just tends to go better ina counselors office and it sounds liek you ahve the $. it’s a cheap investment in the future, to go really hash this out togetehr….