[quote=kev374][quote=njtosd]
It seems to me that someone who knows how to date someone for 2-3 years should know how to express their feelings to that person. If not, maybe the problem is more complicated than you think.[/quote]

It’s not that simple in all cases. Sometimes people will react very badly because they are unable or unwilling to digest the information even if you are being candid.

Communicating something like a breakup is hard enough to do but makes it that much more difficult and worse when the other person is not mature enough to deal with the situation in a controlled way.[/quote]

The fallout of a breakup won’t last very long. A month? A year? A week? A marriage – to a person whom you consider immature and have trouble communicating with – and that you entered in order to avoid a relatively short period of angst – and the following (not-unlikely) divorce has the potential to last for tortuous decades.

That’s like Homer in an episode of the Simpsons. He’s about to commit some kind of caper. In order to not leave fingerprints, he’s grinding off his finger prints with a power tool, which is obviously causing him great pain. He’s screaming loudly in pain. It occurs to him that he could just wear gloves. He says to himself, referring to the gloves: “Ah, they’re upstairs.” And he then continues grinding his fingerprints off and screaming in pain.

Your decision to marry to avoid the pain of breaking up would be like Homer’s decision to grind off his fingertips because he didn’t want to climb a flight of stairs. Only way stupider.