[quote=Blogstar][quote=6packscaredy][quote=CA renter][quote=6packscaredy]Is it really giving up anything? Perhaps child raising is a benefit, a gain?[/quote]

You’re not giving up anything if everything goes as planned (lifelong marriage). IMHO, it’s a total benefit to the entire family to have a SAHP who is committed to the family (for families who choose this option…everyone has different priorities and opinions).

If you end up getting divorced, OTOH, you are most certainly sacrificing a lot if you’re a SAHP.[/quote]

Is the worker sacrificing too?[/quote]

I have a pretty big SAHD role, off and on, pretty on now, I am valuable in my household and I like what I get in return. I like what I can do for my family and for myself with this arrangement. If I were a bachelor, I would do my best to be a stay at home bachelor and did. I do a lot of things I would not do if I were single either way. I don’t see a lot more or less sacrifice in that compared to what the worker does, and in this day in age don’t see why anyone has the right to call it that. She is doing what she wants and I am doing what I want. Everyone has to find, or should try, to find a way to approximately do their share. I think the word that should come into play with staying at home is “risk” and people should take responsibility for that too. Husband and wife should share that risk if they agree to the arrangement for the good of kids or even for the good of each other. If the risk is too high , don’t do it.

If you can not pick up and carry on in the case of a divorce, sitting around crying about sacrifice isn’t going to do a thing for you. A lot of people are going to get dumped the day the kids get out the door…a contingent plan should be somewhere in one’s mind. Hopefully getting screwed by the divorce system wouldn’t be part of it.[/quote]

this sounds right. To sit back and claim victimize ti on without risk mitigation along the way feels unreasonable in this current social climate.