I don’t feel connected to humanity …I feel no more connected to say a local sports team or my college or my kids hs than I do some bushmen in Africa. About the same general low level acknowledgement that were all here and we shouldn’t hurt each other if possible.

The only people I really feel any emotional allegiance and connection to are my small family. No friends, really. Don’t really trust others. Didn’t fully trust my wife until we were married a long time. Still, you never know.

Anyone who has a no fear sticker? Moron. Not trustworthy. Too dumb.

Maybe I ought to see a therapist. I’ve tried it before but never trusted any of them. Don’t like em. Phonies. I’m a very bad patient. I always ended up trying to screw with the therapist and make them feel shamed or bad. I’m really really skilled at making others feel uncomfortable; that is, it comes very naturally. I rarely smile and never laugh politely. If I do laugh it’s genuine and it comes out as a terrifing convulsive snort.

I guess I have trust issues. ESP including realtors, but also doctors stockbrokers financial planners religious leaders pretty much anyone trying to influence anyone.

But also dentists. Don’t trust them. No advertising. All lies. Cheaters.