what do mean by “can’t afford the short sale?” Can’t someone submit a deal to the lender where there is little if any $$ out of pocket from the seller?

They can, but as Bugs pointed out, the banks aren’t biting. In fact, many of the banks are in as denial as the delusional sellers asking 20% more than peak prices.

If you don’t have enough money to make the loan whole on sale, a short sale is very low probability at this point.

Bugs brings up an interesting point regarding halting the 2nd, I wonder if they could buy time doing it, or if penalties compound too quickly. Or more likely, much like tax provisions, if a defaulted second becomes a reason for the 1st to call the loan?