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cvmom.
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July 15, 2012 at 11:04 AM #19972July 15, 2012 at 11:07 AM #748050
Diego Mamani
Participant[quote=flu]So damn annoying….. The ones that go “my kid this, my kid that. my kid is brilliant…blah blah blah blah blah”.
…How about a nice dose of STFU…..
That is all.
FLU, boycotting the tiger mom/dad scene…..[/quote]
You probably saw the Joy Luck Club scene about competitive parenting. Kinda funny to watch, but it must be annoying to have a talk with these parents. And it must be hell for their kids!July 15, 2012 at 1:20 PM #748054an
ParticipantFlu, stop hanging out with Asian parents. Especially the high achieving ones :–
July 15, 2012 at 1:54 PM #748057Allan from Fallbrook
ParticipantFLU: Get into coaching youth sports (esp. football and baseball) and you’ll have the unfettered joy of dealing with these parents EVERY day and on the weekends! Wheeeee.
July 15, 2012 at 3:41 PM #748064scaredyclassic
Participantif it makes you feel any better, my kids are kind of lazy and nutty.
July 15, 2012 at 4:49 PM #748072flyer
Participantflu–next time you find yourself in a conversation like that, you could casually mention to these “tiger parents,” that only time will tell how well their children will actually do in the “real world.”
Controlled family and school environments lend themselves to great accomplishments. When you throw in the wild card of the real world, sadly, many kids crash and burn because their parents did not prepare them for any circumstances beyond their control.
Having raised kids in a very competitive environment in RSF, and seeing how our kids and their friends actually turned out, I can tell you the stats on success are underwhelming.
Thankfully, our kids have done well–I believe, because, although we encouraged and rewarded peak performance in all things, we also raised them with a huge dose of reality.
A large percentage of their friends are definitely not living the lives of their dreams, so if I were the tiger moms and dads–I’d probably wait awhile to pop the champagne cork–at the very least until their kids get “the job” and buy “the house,” or whatever else defines success to them.
July 15, 2012 at 6:20 PM #748076Coronita
ParticipantWell, so I was at the ice skating rink. And geesh, my kid’s friend is like 6. Granted, she can skate really really well, the parent didn’t want her kid to play with mine, because she wanted her to “train”. Same kid is 6 and is doin like long division and binomial equations at school.. WTF is the point?
July 15, 2012 at 7:29 PM #748086flyer
Participant“Only time will tell.” If you see her in ice skating competitions on TV, I guess her Mom’s efforts will have paid off.
Everyone thinks their kids are going to be “stars” at something. Our kids were into school, golf, tennis, baseball, football, basketball, ice skating, horseback riding, music, etc., etc., and excelled in all–and this was long before the “tiger parent” revolution.
Eventually they had to decide what they wanted to do in real life–and that’s when you know for sure if your parenting efforts have really paid off. They seemed to for our kids, because all are self-sufficient–in their desired professions.
Apart from all parental efforts, there are many “wild cards” in life, and from the real life examples I’ve seen, there appears to be about a 50/50 chance kids will achieve what they want to achieve and succeed in the “real world.”
July 15, 2012 at 8:30 PM #748090scaredyclassic
Participantdont know. but i was reading this abajournal article about a 59 year old lawyer who committed suicide. he wastops in his field, us supreme ct litigation, but his career took a downward turn, not that bad, just slightlydown and he couldn’t take it.
not sure what the point is, but, success, well, it’s difficult to say….
July 15, 2012 at 9:59 PM #748092flyer
ParticipantAnother example of how one of the “wild cards” of life can hit you at any age. Sorry to hear about that. Have heard many stories of people losing it all at 50+ and never recovering–but that’s probably another thread.
With kids, just starting out, it really has to be a shocker if life doesn’t work out the way Mom and Dad promised it would–hence my belief in letting them know about the “real world” and how it could effect them–long before it becomes an issue in their lives.
As an example, we have many friends who, as flu mentioned, bragged about their kids perfection each and everytime we saw them for years and years.
Now that the kids are finished with college, and it’s time to face “real life,” they don’t even want to discuss them–because, apparently, things didn’t work out, and there’s nothing to brag about now. Sad.
July 16, 2012 at 12:24 AM #748099CA renter
Participant[quote=flu]Well, so I was at the ice skating rink. And geesh, my kid’s friend is like 6. Granted, she can skate really really well, the parent didn’t want her kid to play with mine, because she wanted her to “train”. Same kid is 6 and is doin like long division and binomial equations at school.. WTF is the point?[/quote]
I’ve seen the parents who won’t let their kid play because they are busy training or studying non-stop (yes, mostly Chinese)…but binomial equations at age 6???? Wow.
July 16, 2012 at 8:35 AM #748108cvmom
ParticipantIt’s really tough parenting in CV with the tiger parents. And it only gets worse and more cut-throat as the kids get older…and those parents will do ANYTHING to get their kids a leg up on the “competition”. I’ve seen it all already, and my kid is just entering high school. Nasty. And what awful role models for their kids.
July 16, 2012 at 8:58 AM #748110as
ParticipantWhat were you thinking before you decide to buy your house there?
July 16, 2012 at 9:04 AM #748111The-Shoveler
ParticipantLook on the bright side, they keep the School API scores up so you can sell your house to yet another tiger-parent and they can continue the process.
It’s the New American way..
Helicopter parents and Tigers-parents.
In Sweden I hear they have camps to toughen their kids up (Fear they are getting too soft).
You drop your hot dog while cooking it over an open fire, you pick it up out of the dirt or go hungry.
When I talk to my Older colleagues (first gen emigrants from Asia), they tell me of sleeping several to a room to survive while working their way through college (don’t think it is the same today).July 16, 2012 at 9:13 AM #748114Allan from Fallbrook
Participant[quote=cvmom]It’s really tough parenting in CV with the tiger parents. And it only gets worse and more cut-throat as the kids get older…and those parents will do ANYTHING to get their kids a leg up on the “competition”. I’ve seen it all already, and my kid is just entering high school. Nasty. And what awful role models for their kids.[/quote]
When I coached T-ball (5 and 6 year olds), I had parents coming up to me and asking how to prepare their kids for “The Show” (Major League Baseball). Kids in question didn’t know how to tie their shoes yet and mom and dad were talking about pitching and hitting coaches, specialized gear, etc.
In Pop Warner, I see obsessive parents (and it’s both parents, not just the dads), who are hiring QB coaches, at astronomical prices, for their 12yo sons, or sending their kids to NFL summer camps (another good way to separate yourself from your money), or engaging in good, old-fashioned treachery to advance their kid’s fortunes over someone else’s.
I’m all for sports to teach teamwork, build character and instill camaraderie, but, somewhere along the line, we lost the handle, societally-speaking. We are now encouraging yet another generation of coddled, entitled little idiots, who have no sense of others, let alone empathy for them, to go out into a world where it’s all about them and their “accomplishments”.
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