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[quote=propertysearchaddiction]It is called the real world and a great lesson to learn.[/quote]

Well, not really. Again, I’m not totally against they idea of paying for grades, but I don’t want my kids to learn that people will pay them to do stuff that isn’t really helping the person who is paying them.

In the real world, people only pay you to do stuff that helps them. My kids getting better grades doesn’t help me at all.

So, it isn’t like the real world at all. Well, except maybe kinda like welfare.

[sdduuuude]

[quote=propertysearchaddiction]It is called the real world and a great lesson to learn.[/quote]

Well, not really. Again, I’m not totally against they idea of paying for grades, but I don’t want my kids to learn that people will pay them to do stuff that isn’t really helping the person who is paying them.

In the real world, people only pay you to do stuff that helps them. My kids getting better grades doesn’t help me at all.

So, it isn’t like the real world at all. Well, except maybe kinda like welfare.

[sdduuuude]

[quote=propertysearchaddiction]It is called the real world and a great lesson to learn.[/quote]

Well, not really. Again, I’m not totally against they idea of paying for grades, but I don’t want my kids to learn that people will pay them to do stuff that isn’t really helping the person who is paying them.

In the real world, people only pay you to do stuff that helps them. My kids getting better grades doesn’t help me at all.

So, it isn’t like the real world at all. Well, except maybe kinda like welfare.

[sdduuuude]

[quote=propertysearchaddiction]It is called the real world and a great lesson to learn.[/quote]

Well, not really. Again, I’m not totally against they idea of paying for grades, but I don’t want my kids to learn that people will pay them to do stuff that isn’t really helping the person who is paying them.

In the real world, people only pay you to do stuff that helps them. My kids getting better grades doesn’t help me at all.

So, it isn’t like the real world at all. Well, except maybe kinda like welfare.

[sdduuuude]

You still haven’t answered the question of “why do this in the first place?” if there isn’t a history of poor performance.

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You still haven’t answered the question of “why do this in the first place?” if there isn’t a history of poor performance.

[sdduuuude]

You still haven’t answered the question of “why do this in the first place?” if there isn’t a history of poor performance.

[sdduuuude]

You still haven’t answered the question of “why do this in the first place?” if there isn’t a history of poor performance.

[sdduuuude]

You still haven’t answered the question of “why do this in the first place?” if there isn’t a history of poor performance.

[sdduuuude]

[quote=meadandale]I know parents who pay their kids for every little thing they do: take out the trash, mow the lawn, clean the toilet. Guess what happens when the money isn’t a motivator anymore (e.g. they have enough and would rather not do the work)? They tell their parents to (politely) piss off. What are you gonna do then?[/quote]

We just started doing this with our 7 year olds and it is excellent. They always volunteer or try to beat each other to doing chores. They also learn to manage money.

My goal, always and forever, is to make my kids independent from me. That underlying principle drives everything I do with my kids.

At any age, if the money isn’t a motivator anymore, then one of three things has happened:

1) They have worked hard and gotten all the money the need, which is a good thing.
2) They have figured out how to live with less, which is a good thing.
3) They have found a different way to make more money than I am paying them, another good thing.

In these cases, I have many options depending on their age. I can find harder jobs that pay more, stop buying them food, ask that they pay rent, ask that they pay for things I usually paid for in the past, kick them out of the house, etc.

You can always make money a motivator by not spoiling them in the first place.

Money is always a motivator if you are free to spend it yourself. Kids get a taste of the freedom associated with spending their own money and they are hooked forever.

[sdduuuude]

[quote=meadandale]I know parents who pay their kids for every little thing they do: take out the trash, mow the lawn, clean the toilet. Guess what happens when the money isn’t a motivator anymore (e.g. they have enough and would rather not do the work)? They tell their parents to (politely) piss off. What are you gonna do then?[/quote]

We just started doing this with our 7 year olds and it is excellent. They always volunteer or try to beat each other to doing chores. They also learn to manage money.

My goal, always and forever, is to make my kids independent from me. That underlying principle drives everything I do with my kids.

At any age, if the money isn’t a motivator anymore, then one of three things has happened:

1) They have worked hard and gotten all the money the need, which is a good thing.
2) They have figured out how to live with less, which is a good thing.
3) They have found a different way to make more money than I am paying them, another good thing.

In these cases, I have many options depending on their age. I can find harder jobs that pay more, stop buying them food, ask that they pay rent, ask that they pay for things I usually paid for in the past, kick them out of the house, etc.

You can always make money a motivator by not spoiling them in the first place.

Money is always a motivator if you are free to spend it yourself. Kids get a taste of the freedom associated with spending their own money and they are hooked forever.

[sdduuuude]

[quote=meadandale]I know parents who pay their kids for every little thing they do: take out the trash, mow the lawn, clean the toilet. Guess what happens when the money isn’t a motivator anymore (e.g. they have enough and would rather not do the work)? They tell their parents to (politely) piss off. What are you gonna do then?[/quote]

We just started doing this with our 7 year olds and it is excellent. They always volunteer or try to beat each other to doing chores. They also learn to manage money.

My goal, always and forever, is to make my kids independent from me. That underlying principle drives everything I do with my kids.

At any age, if the money isn’t a motivator anymore, then one of three things has happened:

1) They have worked hard and gotten all the money the need, which is a good thing.
2) They have figured out how to live with less, which is a good thing.
3) They have found a different way to make more money than I am paying them, another good thing.

In these cases, I have many options depending on their age. I can find harder jobs that pay more, stop buying them food, ask that they pay rent, ask that they pay for things I usually paid for in the past, kick them out of the house, etc.

You can always make money a motivator by not spoiling them in the first place.

Money is always a motivator if you are free to spend it yourself. Kids get a taste of the freedom associated with spending their own money and they are hooked forever.

[sdduuuude]

[quote=meadandale]I know parents who pay their kids for every little thing they do: take out the trash, mow the lawn, clean the toilet. Guess what happens when the money isn’t a motivator anymore (e.g. they have enough and would rather not do the work)? They tell their parents to (politely) piss off. What are you gonna do then?[/quote]

We just started doing this with our 7 year olds and it is excellent. They always volunteer or try to beat each other to doing chores. They also learn to manage money.

My goal, always and forever, is to make my kids independent from me. That underlying principle drives everything I do with my kids.

At any age, if the money isn’t a motivator anymore, then one of three things has happened:

1) They have worked hard and gotten all the money the need, which is a good thing.
2) They have figured out how to live with less, which is a good thing.
3) They have found a different way to make more money than I am paying them, another good thing.

In these cases, I have many options depending on their age. I can find harder jobs that pay more, stop buying them food, ask that they pay rent, ask that they pay for things I usually paid for in the past, kick them out of the house, etc.

You can always make money a motivator by not spoiling them in the first place.

Money is always a motivator if you are free to spend it yourself. Kids get a taste of the freedom associated with spending their own money and they are hooked forever.

[sdduuuude]

[quote=meadandale]I know parents who pay their kids for every little thing they do: take out the trash, mow the lawn, clean the toilet. Guess what happens when the money isn’t a motivator anymore (e.g. they have enough and would rather not do the work)? They tell their parents to (politely) piss off. What are you gonna do then?[/quote]

We just started doing this with our 7 year olds and it is excellent. They always volunteer or try to beat each other to doing chores. They also learn to manage money.

My goal, always and forever, is to make my kids independent from me. That underlying principle drives everything I do with my kids.

At any age, if the money isn’t a motivator anymore, then one of three things has happened:

1) They have worked hard and gotten all the money the need, which is a good thing.
2) They have figured out how to live with less, which is a good thing.
3) They have found a different way to make more money than I am paying them, another good thing.

In these cases, I have many options depending on their age. I can find harder jobs that pay more, stop buying them food, ask that they pay rent, ask that they pay for things I usually paid for in the past, kick them out of the house, etc.

You can always make money a motivator by not spoiling them in the first place.

Money is always a motivator if you are free to spend it yourself. Kids get a taste of the freedom associated with spending their own money and they are hooked forever.

[sdduuuude]

[quote=scaredycat]library. check. every week. voracious reader.

museums. check . occasional (usually not inspiring).

work with him. check. we have nightly dinner table conversations about my interesting line fo work which is related tomany lfie issues.

…[/quote]

OK. Good.
How about sporting events (my kids LOVE going to soccer, basketball games in person), toy stores, hands-on science stuff ? Just thoughts.

[quote=scaredycat]why is it either/or? does this ultimately come down to “money is dirty” argument? I wonder whether some of the “just get out there in the world and spend time with the” theorists actually have kids in an actual school system. it’s not like some fantasy ncie school. it’s a mill…[/quote]

I have kids in the school system.
You’ll never get the “money is dirty” arg from me. I started paying my kids allowance when they were 4. They (twins) are 7 now and get paid by the job for chores. As such, they volunteer to work.

I think you have seen two questions.
1) Is it the right motivator ?
2) Is it motivating the right thing ?

Regarding #1 – Does he get allowance and spend his own money on things now, or does he need to come to you for money and things ? If he hasn’t had an allowance and hasn’t had to manage money as a scarce resource, then getting the money for grades won’t mean as much to him, I think. i.e. could be the wrong motivator.

Even if it is the right motivator, you say the school is a mill and just cranks out the homework – something you obviously aren’t loving. Well, if you pay him to get good grades, you are paying him to excel in an environment you don’t sound too happy with. Just seems odd to me.

Also, unless he shows some tendency to not get good grades, why bother ? Maybe the Kennedy kids would have excelled without the cash motivation. You’ll never know if you just throw money at the problem before it is a problem.

That is to say – maybe cash for grades is a good short-term motivator for a kid who is not doing well, but why go there if you don’t have to ?

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