[Scarlett]

[quote=SD Realtor]***********

Montessori is good but you will find a pretty high variance of quality between locations. We did for the ones that we checked out. Also the normal operation hours for Montessori were no convenient for us and as you know these places make a killing on after hours care.[/quote]

Thanks, SD R. Montessori in La Jolla (the one on Fay) charges 7$/hr for the 3-5:30 after hours care. They introduced after hours only very recently.

[Scarlett]

Thanks TG, and the others, I appreciate all the advice and take it constructively. I perhaps not “saved”/invested wisely. I will consider cutting the college funds to nothing at least until the kids are in first grade. And I will also look at insurance. Still, even if I cut them off to minimum, it saves just about $1000 a month… 12K a year…how long it takes to save oh, 400K?
[quote=temeculaguy]Just an addendum, the 2k daycare is bugging me. Is there a grandparent or relative that isn’t doing anything?[/quote]
Unfortunately, no, my in-laws are half continent away, and mine in Europe have their own parents to take care of. I know many of our friends ‘used’ granparents as free day care. But my kids are quite a handful and ‘challenging’, spirited and I don’t know if grandparents could have handled them, at their age, even they’d have offered.
Anyhow the point is moot as we barely have enough rooms for ourselves. Not sure I’d have liked to live in the same small house with my parents or in-laws. next door would have been perfect. I would have also loved for my kids to have a much closer relationship to their grandparents. You ARE blessed, TG.

From what I’ve seen, though I haven’t looked a lot, nannies cost close to 2000/mo and don’t do cleaning & cooking. And certainly won’t provide the education that a good daycare/preschool will give. I don’t think I’d trust one.

Regarding food – Not everybody eats the same; some people have dietary, allergy, weight or some other health issues. We are guilty of eating out dinner as a family at a slightly nicer place (e.g. TGIF, CPK, Sammy’s) twice a week (i.e. $50-60 at least that nite), no energy and time left to cook. Which I don’t think it’s unreasonable, given how busy we are, but we try to cut it down, since it’s not very healthy. Fortunately we don’t patronize McDonalds or Starbucks. Kids favorite burger place is Islands. I try to buy on sale and generic or bulk (Costco) where is doesn’t matter, and use coupons whenever I can – e.g. canned goods, household cleaning, bathroom stuff; and organic where I think it matters for kids(staples like chicken (from Costco), eggs, milk, root vegetables). Lots of fresh produce & wild fish, those add up.

Insurance – we have term for the adults for half milion each (some medical issues made one of them more expensive) and universal variable (the one that builds cash value) for the kids. But perhaps we should reconsider those for kids, those are expensive.

[Scarlett]

Thanks TG, and the others, I appreciate all the advice and take it constructively. I perhaps not “saved”/invested wisely. I will consider cutting the college funds to nothing at least until the kids are in first grade. And I will also look at insurance. Still, even if I cut them off to minimum, it saves just about $1000 a month… 12K a year…how long it takes to save oh, 400K?
[quote=temeculaguy]Just an addendum, the 2k daycare is bugging me. Is there a grandparent or relative that isn’t doing anything?[/quote]
Unfortunately, no, my in-laws are half continent away, and mine in Europe have their own parents to take care of. I know many of our friends ‘used’ granparents as free day care. But my kids are quite a handful and ‘challenging’, spirited and I don’t know if grandparents could have handled them, at their age, even they’d have offered.
Anyhow the point is moot as we barely have enough rooms for ourselves. Not sure I’d have liked to live in the same small house with my parents or in-laws. next door would have been perfect. I would have also loved for my kids to have a much closer relationship to their grandparents. You ARE blessed, TG.

From what I’ve seen, though I haven’t looked a lot, nannies cost close to 2000/mo and don’t do cleaning & cooking. And certainly won’t provide the education that a good daycare/preschool will give. I don’t think I’d trust one.

Regarding food – Not everybody eats the same; some people have dietary, allergy, weight or some other health issues. We are guilty of eating out dinner as a family at a slightly nicer place (e.g. TGIF, CPK, Sammy’s) twice a week (i.e. $50-60 at least that nite), no energy and time left to cook. Which I don’t think it’s unreasonable, given how busy we are, but we try to cut it down, since it’s not very healthy. Fortunately we don’t patronize McDonalds or Starbucks. Kids favorite burger place is Islands. I try to buy on sale and generic or bulk (Costco) where is doesn’t matter, and use coupons whenever I can – e.g. canned goods, household cleaning, bathroom stuff; and organic where I think it matters for kids(staples like chicken (from Costco), eggs, milk, root vegetables). Lots of fresh produce & wild fish, those add up.

Insurance – we have term for the adults for half milion each (some medical issues made one of them more expensive) and universal variable (the one that builds cash value) for the kids. But perhaps we should reconsider those for kids, those are expensive.

[Scarlett]

Thanks TG, and the others, I appreciate all the advice and take it constructively. I perhaps not “saved”/invested wisely. I will consider cutting the college funds to nothing at least until the kids are in first grade. And I will also look at insurance. Still, even if I cut them off to minimum, it saves just about $1000 a month… 12K a year…how long it takes to save oh, 400K?
[quote=temeculaguy]Just an addendum, the 2k daycare is bugging me. Is there a grandparent or relative that isn’t doing anything?[/quote]
Unfortunately, no, my in-laws are half continent away, and mine in Europe have their own parents to take care of. I know many of our friends ‘used’ granparents as free day care. But my kids are quite a handful and ‘challenging’, spirited and I don’t know if grandparents could have handled them, at their age, even they’d have offered.
Anyhow the point is moot as we barely have enough rooms for ourselves. Not sure I’d have liked to live in the same small house with my parents or in-laws. next door would have been perfect. I would have also loved for my kids to have a much closer relationship to their grandparents. You ARE blessed, TG.

From what I’ve seen, though I haven’t looked a lot, nannies cost close to 2000/mo and don’t do cleaning & cooking. And certainly won’t provide the education that a good daycare/preschool will give. I don’t think I’d trust one.

Regarding food – Not everybody eats the same; some people have dietary, allergy, weight or some other health issues. We are guilty of eating out dinner as a family at a slightly nicer place (e.g. TGIF, CPK, Sammy’s) twice a week (i.e. $50-60 at least that nite), no energy and time left to cook. Which I don’t think it’s unreasonable, given how busy we are, but we try to cut it down, since it’s not very healthy. Fortunately we don’t patronize McDonalds or Starbucks. Kids favorite burger place is Islands. I try to buy on sale and generic or bulk (Costco) where is doesn’t matter, and use coupons whenever I can – e.g. canned goods, household cleaning, bathroom stuff; and organic where I think it matters for kids(staples like chicken (from Costco), eggs, milk, root vegetables). Lots of fresh produce & wild fish, those add up.

Insurance – we have term for the adults for half milion each (some medical issues made one of them more expensive) and universal variable (the one that builds cash value) for the kids. But perhaps we should reconsider those for kids, those are expensive.

[Scarlett]

Thanks TG, and the others, I appreciate all the advice and take it constructively. I perhaps not “saved”/invested wisely. I will consider cutting the college funds to nothing at least until the kids are in first grade. And I will also look at insurance. Still, even if I cut them off to minimum, it saves just about $1000 a month… 12K a year…how long it takes to save oh, 400K?
[quote=temeculaguy]Just an addendum, the 2k daycare is bugging me. Is there a grandparent or relative that isn’t doing anything?[/quote]
Unfortunately, no, my in-laws are half continent away, and mine in Europe have their own parents to take care of. I know many of our friends ‘used’ granparents as free day care. But my kids are quite a handful and ‘challenging’, spirited and I don’t know if grandparents could have handled them, at their age, even they’d have offered.
Anyhow the point is moot as we barely have enough rooms for ourselves. Not sure I’d have liked to live in the same small house with my parents or in-laws. next door would have been perfect. I would have also loved for my kids to have a much closer relationship to their grandparents. You ARE blessed, TG.

From what I’ve seen, though I haven’t looked a lot, nannies cost close to 2000/mo and don’t do cleaning & cooking. And certainly won’t provide the education that a good daycare/preschool will give. I don’t think I’d trust one.

Regarding food – Not everybody eats the same; some people have dietary, allergy, weight or some other health issues. We are guilty of eating out dinner as a family at a slightly nicer place (e.g. TGIF, CPK, Sammy’s) twice a week (i.e. $50-60 at least that nite), no energy and time left to cook. Which I don’t think it’s unreasonable, given how busy we are, but we try to cut it down, since it’s not very healthy. Fortunately we don’t patronize McDonalds or Starbucks. Kids favorite burger place is Islands. I try to buy on sale and generic or bulk (Costco) where is doesn’t matter, and use coupons whenever I can – e.g. canned goods, household cleaning, bathroom stuff; and organic where I think it matters for kids(staples like chicken (from Costco), eggs, milk, root vegetables). Lots of fresh produce & wild fish, those add up.

Insurance – we have term for the adults for half milion each (some medical issues made one of them more expensive) and universal variable (the one that builds cash value) for the kids. But perhaps we should reconsider those for kids, those are expensive.

[Scarlett]

Thanks TG, and the others, I appreciate all the advice and take it constructively. I perhaps not “saved”/invested wisely. I will consider cutting the college funds to nothing at least until the kids are in first grade. And I will also look at insurance. Still, even if I cut them off to minimum, it saves just about $1000 a month… 12K a year…how long it takes to save oh, 400K?
[quote=temeculaguy]Just an addendum, the 2k daycare is bugging me. Is there a grandparent or relative that isn’t doing anything?[/quote]
Unfortunately, no, my in-laws are half continent away, and mine in Europe have their own parents to take care of. I know many of our friends ‘used’ granparents as free day care. But my kids are quite a handful and ‘challenging’, spirited and I don’t know if grandparents could have handled them, at their age, even they’d have offered.
Anyhow the point is moot as we barely have enough rooms for ourselves. Not sure I’d have liked to live in the same small house with my parents or in-laws. next door would have been perfect. I would have also loved for my kids to have a much closer relationship to their grandparents. You ARE blessed, TG.

From what I’ve seen, though I haven’t looked a lot, nannies cost close to 2000/mo and don’t do cleaning & cooking. And certainly won’t provide the education that a good daycare/preschool will give. I don’t think I’d trust one.

Regarding food – Not everybody eats the same; some people have dietary, allergy, weight or some other health issues. We are guilty of eating out dinner as a family at a slightly nicer place (e.g. TGIF, CPK, Sammy’s) twice a week (i.e. $50-60 at least that nite), no energy and time left to cook. Which I don’t think it’s unreasonable, given how busy we are, but we try to cut it down, since it’s not very healthy. Fortunately we don’t patronize McDonalds or Starbucks. Kids favorite burger place is Islands. I try to buy on sale and generic or bulk (Costco) where is doesn’t matter, and use coupons whenever I can – e.g. canned goods, household cleaning, bathroom stuff; and organic where I think it matters for kids(staples like chicken (from Costco), eggs, milk, root vegetables). Lots of fresh produce & wild fish, those add up.

Insurance – we have term for the adults for half milion each (some medical issues made one of them more expensive) and universal variable (the one that builds cash value) for the kids. But perhaps we should reconsider those for kids, those are expensive.

[Scarlett]

[quote=Ren][quote=temeculaguy]Just an addendum, the 2k daycare is bugging me.[/quote]

Me too. Full time, decent quality daycare (the chains like Discovery Isle, which actually potty train) is $700-$900/month, depending on the area, for one child of 2 or older.

My boy’s grandmother recently announced her retirement from baby sitting any of the grandchildren, but finding a live-in, legal, retired person to nanny can be extremely cheap. I know someone who has just that, a former nurse, at $400/month.[/quote]
I haven’t heard of that chain (it would be probably $900 per kid in my area, not that far from 1000 per kid what I pay now). I have only found Kindercare and La Petite Academy, A Brighter future and of course Montessori. But they were not convenient to our work and home (UCSD) and commute is a killer at rush hours. I live in UTC area and the kids go to UCSD daycare. Not exactly fancy, but convenient and it’s pretty good. I chose it for its quality, superior to others like Kindercare and La Petite Academy (we visited them all). LONG waiting lists for UCSD daycare. Thinking of switching to Montessori which is only a little more expensive, but better for our kids. Believe me, we cringed when we found out how much it was costing , that was before even the kids were born, and asked around friends and co-workers to find cheaper but reliable options and it was usually grandparents for the infants (option not available for us), then, UCSD daycare. And these were people in academia, not even faculty, therefore not rich or high income. Nobody had a live-in relative or nanny – probably because of living space constraints or simply unavailable. Many from UCSD academia are foreigners, so perhaps the options we found were skewed.
I think it’s very hard to find a live-in that is trustworthy AND provides good education, activities and entertainment for active, challenging kids. I probably won’t qualify if I stayed home (LOL)!!! – I won’t be able to keep up and beg to return to work. Forget about cleaning and cooking.

[Scarlett]

[quote=Ren][quote=temeculaguy]Just an addendum, the 2k daycare is bugging me.[/quote]

Me too. Full time, decent quality daycare (the chains like Discovery Isle, which actually potty train) is $700-$900/month, depending on the area, for one child of 2 or older.

My boy’s grandmother recently announced her retirement from baby sitting any of the grandchildren, but finding a live-in, legal, retired person to nanny can be extremely cheap. I know someone who has just that, a former nurse, at $400/month.[/quote]
I haven’t heard of that chain (it would be probably $900 per kid in my area, not that far from 1000 per kid what I pay now). I have only found Kindercare and La Petite Academy, A Brighter future and of course Montessori. But they were not convenient to our work and home (UCSD) and commute is a killer at rush hours. I live in UTC area and the kids go to UCSD daycare. Not exactly fancy, but convenient and it’s pretty good. I chose it for its quality, superior to others like Kindercare and La Petite Academy (we visited them all). LONG waiting lists for UCSD daycare. Thinking of switching to Montessori which is only a little more expensive, but better for our kids. Believe me, we cringed when we found out how much it was costing , that was before even the kids were born, and asked around friends and co-workers to find cheaper but reliable options and it was usually grandparents for the infants (option not available for us), then, UCSD daycare. And these were people in academia, not even faculty, therefore not rich or high income. Nobody had a live-in relative or nanny – probably because of living space constraints or simply unavailable. Many from UCSD academia are foreigners, so perhaps the options we found were skewed.
I think it’s very hard to find a live-in that is trustworthy AND provides good education, activities and entertainment for active, challenging kids. I probably won’t qualify if I stayed home (LOL)!!! – I won’t be able to keep up and beg to return to work. Forget about cleaning and cooking.

[Scarlett]

[quote=Ren][quote=temeculaguy]Just an addendum, the 2k daycare is bugging me.[/quote]

Me too. Full time, decent quality daycare (the chains like Discovery Isle, which actually potty train) is $700-$900/month, depending on the area, for one child of 2 or older.

My boy’s grandmother recently announced her retirement from baby sitting any of the grandchildren, but finding a live-in, legal, retired person to nanny can be extremely cheap. I know someone who has just that, a former nurse, at $400/month.[/quote]
I haven’t heard of that chain (it would be probably $900 per kid in my area, not that far from 1000 per kid what I pay now). I have only found Kindercare and La Petite Academy, A Brighter future and of course Montessori. But they were not convenient to our work and home (UCSD) and commute is a killer at rush hours. I live in UTC area and the kids go to UCSD daycare. Not exactly fancy, but convenient and it’s pretty good. I chose it for its quality, superior to others like Kindercare and La Petite Academy (we visited them all). LONG waiting lists for UCSD daycare. Thinking of switching to Montessori which is only a little more expensive, but better for our kids. Believe me, we cringed when we found out how much it was costing , that was before even the kids were born, and asked around friends and co-workers to find cheaper but reliable options and it was usually grandparents for the infants (option not available for us), then, UCSD daycare. And these were people in academia, not even faculty, therefore not rich or high income. Nobody had a live-in relative or nanny – probably because of living space constraints or simply unavailable. Many from UCSD academia are foreigners, so perhaps the options we found were skewed.
I think it’s very hard to find a live-in that is trustworthy AND provides good education, activities and entertainment for active, challenging kids. I probably won’t qualify if I stayed home (LOL)!!! – I won’t be able to keep up and beg to return to work. Forget about cleaning and cooking.

[Scarlett]

[quote=Ren][quote=temeculaguy]Just an addendum, the 2k daycare is bugging me.[/quote]

Me too. Full time, decent quality daycare (the chains like Discovery Isle, which actually potty train) is $700-$900/month, depending on the area, for one child of 2 or older.

My boy’s grandmother recently announced her retirement from baby sitting any of the grandchildren, but finding a live-in, legal, retired person to nanny can be extremely cheap. I know someone who has just that, a former nurse, at $400/month.[/quote]
I haven’t heard of that chain (it would be probably $900 per kid in my area, not that far from 1000 per kid what I pay now). I have only found Kindercare and La Petite Academy, A Brighter future and of course Montessori. But they were not convenient to our work and home (UCSD) and commute is a killer at rush hours. I live in UTC area and the kids go to UCSD daycare. Not exactly fancy, but convenient and it’s pretty good. I chose it for its quality, superior to others like Kindercare and La Petite Academy (we visited them all). LONG waiting lists for UCSD daycare. Thinking of switching to Montessori which is only a little more expensive, but better for our kids. Believe me, we cringed when we found out how much it was costing , that was before even the kids were born, and asked around friends and co-workers to find cheaper but reliable options and it was usually grandparents for the infants (option not available for us), then, UCSD daycare. And these were people in academia, not even faculty, therefore not rich or high income. Nobody had a live-in relative or nanny – probably because of living space constraints or simply unavailable. Many from UCSD academia are foreigners, so perhaps the options we found were skewed.
I think it’s very hard to find a live-in that is trustworthy AND provides good education, activities and entertainment for active, challenging kids. I probably won’t qualify if I stayed home (LOL)!!! – I won’t be able to keep up and beg to return to work. Forget about cleaning and cooking.

[Scarlett]

[quote=Ren][quote=temeculaguy]Just an addendum, the 2k daycare is bugging me.[/quote]

Me too. Full time, decent quality daycare (the chains like Discovery Isle, which actually potty train) is $700-$900/month, depending on the area, for one child of 2 or older.

My boy’s grandmother recently announced her retirement from baby sitting any of the grandchildren, but finding a live-in, legal, retired person to nanny can be extremely cheap. I know someone who has just that, a former nurse, at $400/month.[/quote]
I haven’t heard of that chain (it would be probably $900 per kid in my area, not that far from 1000 per kid what I pay now). I have only found Kindercare and La Petite Academy, A Brighter future and of course Montessori. But they were not convenient to our work and home (UCSD) and commute is a killer at rush hours. I live in UTC area and the kids go to UCSD daycare. Not exactly fancy, but convenient and it’s pretty good. I chose it for its quality, superior to others like Kindercare and La Petite Academy (we visited them all). LONG waiting lists for UCSD daycare. Thinking of switching to Montessori which is only a little more expensive, but better for our kids. Believe me, we cringed when we found out how much it was costing , that was before even the kids were born, and asked around friends and co-workers to find cheaper but reliable options and it was usually grandparents for the infants (option not available for us), then, UCSD daycare. And these were people in academia, not even faculty, therefore not rich or high income. Nobody had a live-in relative or nanny – probably because of living space constraints or simply unavailable. Many from UCSD academia are foreigners, so perhaps the options we found were skewed.
I think it’s very hard to find a live-in that is trustworthy AND provides good education, activities and entertainment for active, challenging kids. I probably won’t qualify if I stayed home (LOL)!!! – I won’t be able to keep up and beg to return to work. Forget about cleaning and cooking.

[Scarlett]

[quote=patientrenter]Scarlett,

I was saying that your situation is an example of why our system is nuts. Why? For one, because you say that you won’t be able to increase your downpayment much over the next few years, so that means you have little future savings available to pay for housing. Since you also don’t have the current price of what you want to buy in cash, my conclusion is that you cannot afford to buy a house for that price. You don’t have the money now, nor do you have the saving power necessary to pay for it in the near future. Yet you consider it normal and rational to buy it anyway. You probably are not unusual. That this kind of behavior is normal in our society is, to me, nuts.
[/quote]

But I am looking to fulfill 3 of the most commonly believed requirements for a rational home purchase, 1. 20% down; 2. home price = 3X gross income (500K); 3. debt to income ratio 28%. Isn’t that enough?! Ok, I understand I don’t have cash reserves beside the downpayment, but I can actually get cash if need be from retirement,life insurance. I am not perfect, but I think I will do ok and pay my mortgage.
I explained above where my money goes – is actually saved/invested for college, insurance, retirement, not spent recklessly. If I wouldn’t put those money there maybe I could pay my mortgage off sooner *if* I wanted to.
I think you may have a problem with 30 yr fixed rate loans then, that THEY shouldn’t exist – if you think I should be able to pay it off in a few years. It’s your opinion, but I think you are going too extreme in the opposite direction.

[Scarlett]

[quote=patientrenter]Scarlett,

I was saying that your situation is an example of why our system is nuts. Why? For one, because you say that you won’t be able to increase your downpayment much over the next few years, so that means you have little future savings available to pay for housing. Since you also don’t have the current price of what you want to buy in cash, my conclusion is that you cannot afford to buy a house for that price. You don’t have the money now, nor do you have the saving power necessary to pay for it in the near future. Yet you consider it normal and rational to buy it anyway. You probably are not unusual. That this kind of behavior is normal in our society is, to me, nuts.
[/quote]

But I am looking to fulfill 3 of the most commonly believed requirements for a rational home purchase, 1. 20% down; 2. home price = 3X gross income (500K); 3. debt to income ratio 28%. Isn’t that enough?! Ok, I understand I don’t have cash reserves beside the downpayment, but I can actually get cash if need be from retirement,life insurance. I am not perfect, but I think I will do ok and pay my mortgage.
I explained above where my money goes – is actually saved/invested for college, insurance, retirement, not spent recklessly. If I wouldn’t put those money there maybe I could pay my mortgage off sooner *if* I wanted to.
I think you may have a problem with 30 yr fixed rate loans then, that THEY shouldn’t exist – if you think I should be able to pay it off in a few years. It’s your opinion, but I think you are going too extreme in the opposite direction.

[Scarlett]

[quote=patientrenter]Scarlett,

I was saying that your situation is an example of why our system is nuts. Why? For one, because you say that you won’t be able to increase your downpayment much over the next few years, so that means you have little future savings available to pay for housing. Since you also don’t have the current price of what you want to buy in cash, my conclusion is that you cannot afford to buy a house for that price. You don’t have the money now, nor do you have the saving power necessary to pay for it in the near future. Yet you consider it normal and rational to buy it anyway. You probably are not unusual. That this kind of behavior is normal in our society is, to me, nuts.
[/quote]

But I am looking to fulfill 3 of the most commonly believed requirements for a rational home purchase, 1. 20% down; 2. home price = 3X gross income (500K); 3. debt to income ratio 28%. Isn’t that enough?! Ok, I understand I don’t have cash reserves beside the downpayment, but I can actually get cash if need be from retirement,life insurance. I am not perfect, but I think I will do ok and pay my mortgage.
I explained above where my money goes – is actually saved/invested for college, insurance, retirement, not spent recklessly. If I wouldn’t put those money there maybe I could pay my mortgage off sooner *if* I wanted to.
I think you may have a problem with 30 yr fixed rate loans then, that THEY shouldn’t exist – if you think I should be able to pay it off in a few years. It’s your opinion, but I think you are going too extreme in the opposite direction.

[Scarlett]

[quote=patientrenter]Scarlett,

I was saying that your situation is an example of why our system is nuts. Why? For one, because you say that you won’t be able to increase your downpayment much over the next few years, so that means you have little future savings available to pay for housing. Since you also don’t have the current price of what you want to buy in cash, my conclusion is that you cannot afford to buy a house for that price. You don’t have the money now, nor do you have the saving power necessary to pay for it in the near future. Yet you consider it normal and rational to buy it anyway. You probably are not unusual. That this kind of behavior is normal in our society is, to me, nuts.
[/quote]

But I am looking to fulfill 3 of the most commonly believed requirements for a rational home purchase, 1. 20% down; 2. home price = 3X gross income (500K); 3. debt to income ratio 28%. Isn’t that enough?! Ok, I understand I don’t have cash reserves beside the downpayment, but I can actually get cash if need be from retirement,life insurance. I am not perfect, but I think I will do ok and pay my mortgage.
I explained above where my money goes – is actually saved/invested for college, insurance, retirement, not spent recklessly. If I wouldn’t put those money there maybe I could pay my mortgage off sooner *if* I wanted to.
I think you may have a problem with 30 yr fixed rate loans then, that THEY shouldn’t exist – if you think I should be able to pay it off in a few years. It’s your opinion, but I think you are going too extreme in the opposite direction.

[Author]

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