[HelloKitty]

I love that you guys are all looking out for me and telling me not to buy right now.

But – and okay this is a big BUT, as in if this BUT had a name it would be JLO… BUT I really think that this is the house for me.

My husband’s annual salary is $250k a year so I don’t think buying a $290k house is a terrible decision.

We’re both under 30 and we have no kids or own a home so after taxes we probably see about $12.00 of it.

I’m exaggerating, but honestly Uncle Sam takes a huge chomp out of our asses come tax time.

Boo hoo right? Poor me!

I’m sure I’ll be beating off your sympathy with a stick.

When I met him, I made more money than him and I never imagined that a guy doing tech support would end up making six figures by the time he was 25.

I’m not foolish though. Just as easily as that money came, it could just as easily disappear. I soooo get that.

This is why I’m not trying to justify the purchase of an Egg McMansion with cheese.

Because I don’t need a million dollar house or a half million dollar house.

I just want a house we know we can AFFORD (big ass EMPHASIS on afford) and pay off in 15 years and still have money for reserves and savings and money to buy another home later down the road when the piggington approved bottom hits.

Right now, we are currently renting a 2 bedroom condo in Los Angeles and when I do the math, if we were to purchase the home in Murrieta at 290k our mortgage will be cheaper than our rent in Los Angeles. We could just as easily move to Murrieta and rent a house, but then we couldn’t have a stripper pole in the bedroom or the tax write off, now could we? Tax write off + stripper pole = win/win situation!

And since I know you’re all waiting for it, here’s my estrogen induced reason for wanting to buy this house. It’s four doors down from my brother and his wife. They’re expecting a baby and I want to be there for that, not two hours away or paying someone else’s mortgage when we could easily be paying for our own!

I would love for us to live on the same block and raise our children together. That is my dream.

My other dream is to have condomless sex with my husband.

We can’t WAIT to hear the pitter patter of little tax deductions!

But having a baby isn’t an option for us right now because we wouldn’t have anywhere to put him/her.

Seriously, If I were our baby, I’d feel like my parents were assholes if my dad made 250k a year and in my infancy, my first few weeks of life were spent sleeping in a dresser drawer!

I don’t want my baby to think I’m an asshole because his cousin’s first bed was a crib in a house in Murrieta and his crib was a laundry basket in a condo in Los Angeles.

I already know that my biggest regret in life won’t be buying a house I know will depreciate.

My biggest regret will be missing out on the birth of my future nephew because I was stuck in traffic two hours away.

My biggest regret is that despite being married for 9384394 years, I gotta have PROTECTED sex with my husband because GOD FORBID the condom busts before the housing bubble does!

That’s me pleading my case to you.

I hear you, I respect you, I trust you guys.

But that house is gonna be mine, make no mistake about it.

The question is just a matter of when.

And I say that fully informed, fully prepared and well aware of the fact that housing prices WILL go down again.

And at the end of the day, when my house is upside down but PAID for, and I’m working off my post pregnancy weight doing stripperobics via the stripper pole attached to the house I own, four houses down the from my brother and his family, not only will I find a way to get over it, I’ll do it with a smile on my face.

So now that you know my whole life story, I’d love your blessing in buying this house almost as much as I would any additional advice you could give me about short sales and my sucky realtor.

Thanks guys, you fucking rock!

Jane

[HelloKitty]

I love that you guys are all looking out for me and telling me not to buy right now.

But – and okay this is a big BUT, as in if this BUT had a name it would be JLO… BUT I really think that this is the house for me.

My husband’s annual salary is $250k a year so I don’t think buying a $290k house is a terrible decision.

We’re both under 30 and we have no kids or own a home so after taxes we probably see about $12.00 of it.

I’m exaggerating, but honestly Uncle Sam takes a huge chomp out of our asses come tax time.

Boo hoo right? Poor me!

I’m sure I’ll be beating off your sympathy with a stick.

When I met him, I made more money than him and I never imagined that a guy doing tech support would end up making six figures by the time he was 25.

I’m not foolish though. Just as easily as that money came, it could just as easily disappear. I soooo get that.

This is why I’m not trying to justify the purchase of an Egg McMansion with cheese.

Because I don’t need a million dollar house or a half million dollar house.

I just want a house we know we can AFFORD (big ass EMPHASIS on afford) and pay off in 15 years and still have money for reserves and savings and money to buy another home later down the road when the piggington approved bottom hits.

Right now, we are currently renting a 2 bedroom condo in Los Angeles and when I do the math, if we were to purchase the home in Murrieta at 290k our mortgage will be cheaper than our rent in Los Angeles. We could just as easily move to Murrieta and rent a house, but then we couldn’t have a stripper pole in the bedroom or the tax write off, now could we? Tax write off + stripper pole = win/win situation!

And since I know you’re all waiting for it, here’s my estrogen induced reason for wanting to buy this house. It’s four doors down from my brother and his wife. They’re expecting a baby and I want to be there for that, not two hours away or paying someone else’s mortgage when we could easily be paying for our own!

I would love for us to live on the same block and raise our children together. That is my dream.

My other dream is to have condomless sex with my husband.

We can’t WAIT to hear the pitter patter of little tax deductions!

But having a baby isn’t an option for us right now because we wouldn’t have anywhere to put him/her.

Seriously, If I were our baby, I’d feel like my parents were assholes if my dad made 250k a year and in my infancy, my first few weeks of life were spent sleeping in a dresser drawer!

I don’t want my baby to think I’m an asshole because his cousin’s first bed was a crib in a house in Murrieta and his crib was a laundry basket in a condo in Los Angeles.

I already know that my biggest regret in life won’t be buying a house I know will depreciate.

My biggest regret will be missing out on the birth of my future nephew because I was stuck in traffic two hours away.

My biggest regret is that despite being married for 9384394 years, I gotta have PROTECTED sex with my husband because GOD FORBID the condom busts before the housing bubble does!

That’s me pleading my case to you.

I hear you, I respect you, I trust you guys.

But that house is gonna be mine, make no mistake about it.

The question is just a matter of when.

And I say that fully informed, fully prepared and well aware of the fact that housing prices WILL go down again.

And at the end of the day, when my house is upside down but PAID for, and I’m working off my post pregnancy weight doing stripperobics via the stripper pole attached to the house I own, four houses down the from my brother and his family, not only will I find a way to get over it, I’ll do it with a smile on my face.

So now that you know my whole life story, I’d love your blessing in buying this house almost as much as I would any additional advice you could give me about short sales and my sucky realtor.

Thanks guys, you fucking rock!

Jane

[HelloKitty]

I love that you guys are all looking out for me and telling me not to buy right now.

But – and okay this is a big BUT, as in if this BUT had a name it would be JLO… BUT I really think that this is the house for me.

My husband’s annual salary is $250k a year so I don’t think buying a $290k house is a terrible decision.

We’re both under 30 and we have no kids or own a home so after taxes we probably see about $12.00 of it.

I’m exaggerating, but honestly Uncle Sam takes a huge chomp out of our asses come tax time.

Boo hoo right? Poor me!

I’m sure I’ll be beating off your sympathy with a stick.

When I met him, I made more money than him and I never imagined that a guy doing tech support would end up making six figures by the time he was 25.

I’m not foolish though. Just as easily as that money came, it could just as easily disappear. I soooo get that.

This is why I’m not trying to justify the purchase of an Egg McMansion with cheese.

Because I don’t need a million dollar house or a half million dollar house.

I just want a house we know we can AFFORD (big ass EMPHASIS on afford) and pay off in 15 years and still have money for reserves and savings and money to buy another home later down the road when the piggington approved bottom hits.

Right now, we are currently renting a 2 bedroom condo in Los Angeles and when I do the math, if we were to purchase the home in Murrieta at 290k our mortgage will be cheaper than our rent in Los Angeles. We could just as easily move to Murrieta and rent a house, but then we couldn’t have a stripper pole in the bedroom or the tax write off, now could we? Tax write off + stripper pole = win/win situation!

And since I know you’re all waiting for it, here’s my estrogen induced reason for wanting to buy this house. It’s four doors down from my brother and his wife. They’re expecting a baby and I want to be there for that, not two hours away or paying someone else’s mortgage when we could easily be paying for our own!

I would love for us to live on the same block and raise our children together. That is my dream.

My other dream is to have condomless sex with my husband.

We can’t WAIT to hear the pitter patter of little tax deductions!

But having a baby isn’t an option for us right now because we wouldn’t have anywhere to put him/her.

Seriously, If I were our baby, I’d feel like my parents were assholes if my dad made 250k a year and in my infancy, my first few weeks of life were spent sleeping in a dresser drawer!

I don’t want my baby to think I’m an asshole because his cousin’s first bed was a crib in a house in Murrieta and his crib was a laundry basket in a condo in Los Angeles.

I already know that my biggest regret in life won’t be buying a house I know will depreciate.

My biggest regret will be missing out on the birth of my future nephew because I was stuck in traffic two hours away.

My biggest regret is that despite being married for 9384394 years, I gotta have PROTECTED sex with my husband because GOD FORBID the condom busts before the housing bubble does!

That’s me pleading my case to you.

I hear you, I respect you, I trust you guys.

But that house is gonna be mine, make no mistake about it.

The question is just a matter of when.

And I say that fully informed, fully prepared and well aware of the fact that housing prices WILL go down again.

And at the end of the day, when my house is upside down but PAID for, and I’m working off my post pregnancy weight doing stripperobics via the stripper pole attached to the house I own, four houses down the from my brother and his family, not only will I find a way to get over it, I’ll do it with a smile on my face.

So now that you know my whole life story, I’d love your blessing in buying this house almost as much as I would any additional advice you could give me about short sales and my sucky realtor.

Thanks guys, you fucking rock!

Jane

[HelloKitty]

I love that you guys are all looking out for me and telling me not to buy right now.

But – and okay this is a big BUT, as in if this BUT had a name it would be JLO… BUT I really think that this is the house for me.

My husband’s annual salary is $250k a year so I don’t think buying a $290k house is a terrible decision.

We’re both under 30 and we have no kids or own a home so after taxes we probably see about $12.00 of it.

I’m exaggerating, but honestly Uncle Sam takes a huge chomp out of our asses come tax time.

Boo hoo right? Poor me!

I’m sure I’ll be beating off your sympathy with a stick.

When I met him, I made more money than him and I never imagined that a guy doing tech support would end up making six figures by the time he was 25.

I’m not foolish though. Just as easily as that money came, it could just as easily disappear. I soooo get that.

This is why I’m not trying to justify the purchase of an Egg McMansion with cheese.

Because I don’t need a million dollar house or a half million dollar house.

I just want a house we know we can AFFORD (big ass EMPHASIS on afford) and pay off in 15 years and still have money for reserves and savings and money to buy another home later down the road when the piggington approved bottom hits.

Right now, we are currently renting a 2 bedroom condo in Los Angeles and when I do the math, if we were to purchase the home in Murrieta at 290k our mortgage will be cheaper than our rent in Los Angeles. We could just as easily move to Murrieta and rent a house, but then we couldn’t have a stripper pole in the bedroom or the tax write off, now could we? Tax write off + stripper pole = win/win situation!

And since I know you’re all waiting for it, here’s my estrogen induced reason for wanting to buy this house. It’s four doors down from my brother and his wife. They’re expecting a baby and I want to be there for that, not two hours away or paying someone else’s mortgage when we could easily be paying for our own!

I would love for us to live on the same block and raise our children together. That is my dream.

My other dream is to have condomless sex with my husband.

We can’t WAIT to hear the pitter patter of little tax deductions!

But having a baby isn’t an option for us right now because we wouldn’t have anywhere to put him/her.

Seriously, If I were our baby, I’d feel like my parents were assholes if my dad made 250k a year and in my infancy, my first few weeks of life were spent sleeping in a dresser drawer!

I don’t want my baby to think I’m an asshole because his cousin’s first bed was a crib in a house in Murrieta and his crib was a laundry basket in a condo in Los Angeles.

I already know that my biggest regret in life won’t be buying a house I know will depreciate.

My biggest regret will be missing out on the birth of my future nephew because I was stuck in traffic two hours away.

My biggest regret is that despite being married for 9384394 years, I gotta have PROTECTED sex with my husband because GOD FORBID the condom busts before the housing bubble does!

That’s me pleading my case to you.

I hear you, I respect you, I trust you guys.

But that house is gonna be mine, make no mistake about it.

The question is just a matter of when.

And I say that fully informed, fully prepared and well aware of the fact that housing prices WILL go down again.

And at the end of the day, when my house is upside down but PAID for, and I’m working off my post pregnancy weight doing stripperobics via the stripper pole attached to the house I own, four houses down the from my brother and his family, not only will I find a way to get over it, I’ll do it with a smile on my face.

So now that you know my whole life story, I’d love your blessing in buying this house almost as much as I would any additional advice you could give me about short sales and my sucky realtor.

Thanks guys, you fucking rock!

Jane

[HelloKitty]

I love that you guys are all looking out for me and telling me not to buy right now.

But – and okay this is a big BUT, as in if this BUT had a name it would be JLO… BUT I really think that this is the house for me.

My husband’s annual salary is $250k a year so I don’t think buying a $290k house is a terrible decision.

We’re both under 30 and we have no kids or own a home so after taxes we probably see about $12.00 of it.

I’m exaggerating, but honestly Uncle Sam takes a huge chomp out of our asses come tax time.

Boo hoo right? Poor me!

I’m sure I’ll be beating off your sympathy with a stick.

When I met him, I made more money than him and I never imagined that a guy doing tech support would end up making six figures by the time he was 25.

I’m not foolish though. Just as easily as that money came, it could just as easily disappear. I soooo get that.

This is why I’m not trying to justify the purchase of an Egg McMansion with cheese.

Because I don’t need a million dollar house or a half million dollar house.

I just want a house we know we can AFFORD (big ass EMPHASIS on afford) and pay off in 15 years and still have money for reserves and savings and money to buy another home later down the road when the piggington approved bottom hits.

Right now, we are currently renting a 2 bedroom condo in Los Angeles and when I do the math, if we were to purchase the home in Murrieta at 290k our mortgage will be cheaper than our rent in Los Angeles. We could just as easily move to Murrieta and rent a house, but then we couldn’t have a stripper pole in the bedroom or the tax write off, now could we? Tax write off + stripper pole = win/win situation!

And since I know you’re all waiting for it, here’s my estrogen induced reason for wanting to buy this house. It’s four doors down from my brother and his wife. They’re expecting a baby and I want to be there for that, not two hours away or paying someone else’s mortgage when we could easily be paying for our own!

I would love for us to live on the same block and raise our children together. That is my dream.

My other dream is to have condomless sex with my husband.

We can’t WAIT to hear the pitter patter of little tax deductions!

But having a baby isn’t an option for us right now because we wouldn’t have anywhere to put him/her.

Seriously, If I were our baby, I’d feel like my parents were assholes if my dad made 250k a year and in my infancy, my first few weeks of life were spent sleeping in a dresser drawer!

I don’t want my baby to think I’m an asshole because his cousin’s first bed was a crib in a house in Murrieta and his crib was a laundry basket in a condo in Los Angeles.

I already know that my biggest regret in life won’t be buying a house I know will depreciate.

My biggest regret will be missing out on the birth of my future nephew because I was stuck in traffic two hours away.

My biggest regret is that despite being married for 9384394 years, I gotta have PROTECTED sex with my husband because GOD FORBID the condom busts before the housing bubble does!

That’s me pleading my case to you.

I hear you, I respect you, I trust you guys.

But that house is gonna be mine, make no mistake about it.

The question is just a matter of when.

And I say that fully informed, fully prepared and well aware of the fact that housing prices WILL go down again.

And at the end of the day, when my house is upside down but PAID for, and I’m working off my post pregnancy weight doing stripperobics via the stripper pole attached to the house I own, four houses down the from my brother and his family, not only will I find a way to get over it, I’ll do it with a smile on my face.

So now that you know my whole life story, I’d love your blessing in buying this house almost as much as I would any additional advice you could give me about short sales and my sucky realtor.

Thanks guys, you fucking rock!

Jane

[Author]

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