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cabal
ParticipantWe’ve attended the family/friend New Years get together theme more times than I care to remember. Yes it’s always a good time, but this year we want to be by ourselves and prowl the city, similar to how it was when we were in our twenties with not a care in the world. Our kids are older, self sufficient, and will be doing their own thing. So to reiterate, where are the best places for fortysomething folks to go dancing in San Diego? Cost and music type are non issues. Does anyone have a suggestion because I don’t have a friggin clue.
cabal
ParticipantWe’ve attended the family/friend New Years get together theme more times than I care to remember. Yes it’s always a good time, but this year we want to be by ourselves and prowl the city, similar to how it was when we were in our twenties with not a care in the world. Our kids are older, self sufficient, and will be doing their own thing. So to reiterate, where are the best places for fortysomething folks to go dancing in San Diego? Cost and music type are non issues. Does anyone have a suggestion because I don’t have a friggin clue.
cabal
ParticipantWe’ve attended the family/friend New Years get together theme more times than I care to remember. Yes it’s always a good time, but this year we want to be by ourselves and prowl the city, similar to how it was when we were in our twenties with not a care in the world. Our kids are older, self sufficient, and will be doing their own thing. So to reiterate, where are the best places for fortysomething folks to go dancing in San Diego? Cost and music type are non issues. Does anyone have a suggestion because I don’t have a friggin clue.
cabal
ParticipantWe’ve attended the family/friend New Years get together theme more times than I care to remember. Yes it’s always a good time, but this year we want to be by ourselves and prowl the city, similar to how it was when we were in our twenties with not a care in the world. Our kids are older, self sufficient, and will be doing their own thing. So to reiterate, where are the best places for fortysomething folks to go dancing in San Diego? Cost and music type are non issues. Does anyone have a suggestion because I don’t have a friggin clue.
cabal
ParticipantWe’ve attended the family/friend New Years get together theme more times than I care to remember. Yes it’s always a good time, but this year we want to be by ourselves and prowl the city, similar to how it was when we were in our twenties with not a care in the world. Our kids are older, self sufficient, and will be doing their own thing. So to reiterate, where are the best places for fortysomething folks to go dancing in San Diego? Cost and music type are non issues. Does anyone have a suggestion because I don’t have a friggin clue.
cabal
Participant[quote=CA renter]
A good explanation for this is involves my theory regarding how men and women are valued differently. As mentioned before, I believe a woman’s most valuable assets are her youth and beauty (and fertility), while a man’s most valuable assets are money and social status. This is why I believe a woman’s contribution to a marriage is front-loaded, while a man’s contribution is usually back-loaded (as he makes more money over time, in most cases).Women chase after these men because they are wealthy and/or because they are famous (social status). Men chase after women because they are young/beautiful. The female “groupies” are more visible because our society focuses on celebrities; therefore, everything about their lives is more visible.
If you want to see the male version of groupies, just follow a very attractive, young woman around. They get hit on all day long — literally everywhere they go. Men don’t chase after celebrities because they don’t value money/social status in their mates like women do; they value youth/beauty, instead. This is why most male stalkers will stalk “regular” women. Women don’t have to be rich/famous to attract men (some very rich/powerful men are seen dating/marrying bartenders and waitresses), but a woman with many stalkers/suitors will almost always be young and/or beautiful.[/quote]
CAR –
Let’s add some clarification and granularity to your points. First, men chase women because they want to get laid, not because they’re beautiful. It does not matter if a woman is plain, beautiful, short, or fugly as all will garner some level of attention proportional to their attractiveness, physical or otherwise. Certainly beauty increases the odds of establishing a relationship beyond a one night stand, but other factors over time should be recognized as equally if not more important, such as chemistry, personality, and ease of being intimate. I think they are, but the challenge is that both men and women continuously change over time such that it is very difficult to discern if love / compatability will endure over the long term. My response to those who say you should marry for love and not money/beauty is – Ya Think?! For a marriage to be successful and lasting, I believe you have to get lucky.Women I think seek men primarily for attention, companionship, emotional connection, etc. with goals of culminating a long term relationship. Men of wealth and social status enjoy an advantage only at the introductory stage, albeit a big one. If they turn out to be an ass, abusive, or unfaithful, I think most women would end it. The exception is if the man is in the elite wealth club, such as Tiger, where extreme wealth can outweigh almost anything. Confusion on what truly attracts woman can occur because wealthy and powerful men on average are probably interesting and attractive in other ways by default, and would attract women regardless of their wealth. In this case, wealth and attraction can be incorrectly conflated. Therefore, the notion that wealth for men and beauty for woman are their biggest assets in securing a relationship is only correct in the context described.
The reality is that most couples meet through a variety of circumstances, fall in love, and eventually enter a long term committed relationship. It’s that simple. Most of my rich friends married with nothing more than a degree and the promise of a good career. Money was not a factor. While most rich guys seem to have hot wives, there are also a lot of poor and plain looking guys with hot wives. Likewise, it’s not uncommon to see rich men with average looking women.
cabal
Participant[quote=CA renter]
A good explanation for this is involves my theory regarding how men and women are valued differently. As mentioned before, I believe a woman’s most valuable assets are her youth and beauty (and fertility), while a man’s most valuable assets are money and social status. This is why I believe a woman’s contribution to a marriage is front-loaded, while a man’s contribution is usually back-loaded (as he makes more money over time, in most cases).Women chase after these men because they are wealthy and/or because they are famous (social status). Men chase after women because they are young/beautiful. The female “groupies” are more visible because our society focuses on celebrities; therefore, everything about their lives is more visible.
If you want to see the male version of groupies, just follow a very attractive, young woman around. They get hit on all day long — literally everywhere they go. Men don’t chase after celebrities because they don’t value money/social status in their mates like women do; they value youth/beauty, instead. This is why most male stalkers will stalk “regular” women. Women don’t have to be rich/famous to attract men (some very rich/powerful men are seen dating/marrying bartenders and waitresses), but a woman with many stalkers/suitors will almost always be young and/or beautiful.[/quote]
CAR –
Let’s add some clarification and granularity to your points. First, men chase women because they want to get laid, not because they’re beautiful. It does not matter if a woman is plain, beautiful, short, or fugly as all will garner some level of attention proportional to their attractiveness, physical or otherwise. Certainly beauty increases the odds of establishing a relationship beyond a one night stand, but other factors over time should be recognized as equally if not more important, such as chemistry, personality, and ease of being intimate. I think they are, but the challenge is that both men and women continuously change over time such that it is very difficult to discern if love / compatability will endure over the long term. My response to those who say you should marry for love and not money/beauty is – Ya Think?! For a marriage to be successful and lasting, I believe you have to get lucky.Women I think seek men primarily for attention, companionship, emotional connection, etc. with goals of culminating a long term relationship. Men of wealth and social status enjoy an advantage only at the introductory stage, albeit a big one. If they turn out to be an ass, abusive, or unfaithful, I think most women would end it. The exception is if the man is in the elite wealth club, such as Tiger, where extreme wealth can outweigh almost anything. Confusion on what truly attracts woman can occur because wealthy and powerful men on average are probably interesting and attractive in other ways by default, and would attract women regardless of their wealth. In this case, wealth and attraction can be incorrectly conflated. Therefore, the notion that wealth for men and beauty for woman are their biggest assets in securing a relationship is only correct in the context described.
The reality is that most couples meet through a variety of circumstances, fall in love, and eventually enter a long term committed relationship. It’s that simple. Most of my rich friends married with nothing more than a degree and the promise of a good career. Money was not a factor. While most rich guys seem to have hot wives, there are also a lot of poor and plain looking guys with hot wives. Likewise, it’s not uncommon to see rich men with average looking women.
cabal
Participant[quote=CA renter]
A good explanation for this is involves my theory regarding how men and women are valued differently. As mentioned before, I believe a woman’s most valuable assets are her youth and beauty (and fertility), while a man’s most valuable assets are money and social status. This is why I believe a woman’s contribution to a marriage is front-loaded, while a man’s contribution is usually back-loaded (as he makes more money over time, in most cases).Women chase after these men because they are wealthy and/or because they are famous (social status). Men chase after women because they are young/beautiful. The female “groupies” are more visible because our society focuses on celebrities; therefore, everything about their lives is more visible.
If you want to see the male version of groupies, just follow a very attractive, young woman around. They get hit on all day long — literally everywhere they go. Men don’t chase after celebrities because they don’t value money/social status in their mates like women do; they value youth/beauty, instead. This is why most male stalkers will stalk “regular” women. Women don’t have to be rich/famous to attract men (some very rich/powerful men are seen dating/marrying bartenders and waitresses), but a woman with many stalkers/suitors will almost always be young and/or beautiful.[/quote]
CAR –
Let’s add some clarification and granularity to your points. First, men chase women because they want to get laid, not because they’re beautiful. It does not matter if a woman is plain, beautiful, short, or fugly as all will garner some level of attention proportional to their attractiveness, physical or otherwise. Certainly beauty increases the odds of establishing a relationship beyond a one night stand, but other factors over time should be recognized as equally if not more important, such as chemistry, personality, and ease of being intimate. I think they are, but the challenge is that both men and women continuously change over time such that it is very difficult to discern if love / compatability will endure over the long term. My response to those who say you should marry for love and not money/beauty is – Ya Think?! For a marriage to be successful and lasting, I believe you have to get lucky.Women I think seek men primarily for attention, companionship, emotional connection, etc. with goals of culminating a long term relationship. Men of wealth and social status enjoy an advantage only at the introductory stage, albeit a big one. If they turn out to be an ass, abusive, or unfaithful, I think most women would end it. The exception is if the man is in the elite wealth club, such as Tiger, where extreme wealth can outweigh almost anything. Confusion on what truly attracts woman can occur because wealthy and powerful men on average are probably interesting and attractive in other ways by default, and would attract women regardless of their wealth. In this case, wealth and attraction can be incorrectly conflated. Therefore, the notion that wealth for men and beauty for woman are their biggest assets in securing a relationship is only correct in the context described.
The reality is that most couples meet through a variety of circumstances, fall in love, and eventually enter a long term committed relationship. It’s that simple. Most of my rich friends married with nothing more than a degree and the promise of a good career. Money was not a factor. While most rich guys seem to have hot wives, there are also a lot of poor and plain looking guys with hot wives. Likewise, it’s not uncommon to see rich men with average looking women.
cabal
Participant[quote=CA renter]
A good explanation for this is involves my theory regarding how men and women are valued differently. As mentioned before, I believe a woman’s most valuable assets are her youth and beauty (and fertility), while a man’s most valuable assets are money and social status. This is why I believe a woman’s contribution to a marriage is front-loaded, while a man’s contribution is usually back-loaded (as he makes more money over time, in most cases).Women chase after these men because they are wealthy and/or because they are famous (social status). Men chase after women because they are young/beautiful. The female “groupies” are more visible because our society focuses on celebrities; therefore, everything about their lives is more visible.
If you want to see the male version of groupies, just follow a very attractive, young woman around. They get hit on all day long — literally everywhere they go. Men don’t chase after celebrities because they don’t value money/social status in their mates like women do; they value youth/beauty, instead. This is why most male stalkers will stalk “regular” women. Women don’t have to be rich/famous to attract men (some very rich/powerful men are seen dating/marrying bartenders and waitresses), but a woman with many stalkers/suitors will almost always be young and/or beautiful.[/quote]
CAR –
Let’s add some clarification and granularity to your points. First, men chase women because they want to get laid, not because they’re beautiful. It does not matter if a woman is plain, beautiful, short, or fugly as all will garner some level of attention proportional to their attractiveness, physical or otherwise. Certainly beauty increases the odds of establishing a relationship beyond a one night stand, but other factors over time should be recognized as equally if not more important, such as chemistry, personality, and ease of being intimate. I think they are, but the challenge is that both men and women continuously change over time such that it is very difficult to discern if love / compatability will endure over the long term. My response to those who say you should marry for love and not money/beauty is – Ya Think?! For a marriage to be successful and lasting, I believe you have to get lucky.Women I think seek men primarily for attention, companionship, emotional connection, etc. with goals of culminating a long term relationship. Men of wealth and social status enjoy an advantage only at the introductory stage, albeit a big one. If they turn out to be an ass, abusive, or unfaithful, I think most women would end it. The exception is if the man is in the elite wealth club, such as Tiger, where extreme wealth can outweigh almost anything. Confusion on what truly attracts woman can occur because wealthy and powerful men on average are probably interesting and attractive in other ways by default, and would attract women regardless of their wealth. In this case, wealth and attraction can be incorrectly conflated. Therefore, the notion that wealth for men and beauty for woman are their biggest assets in securing a relationship is only correct in the context described.
The reality is that most couples meet through a variety of circumstances, fall in love, and eventually enter a long term committed relationship. It’s that simple. Most of my rich friends married with nothing more than a degree and the promise of a good career. Money was not a factor. While most rich guys seem to have hot wives, there are also a lot of poor and plain looking guys with hot wives. Likewise, it’s not uncommon to see rich men with average looking women.
cabal
Participant[quote=CA renter]
A good explanation for this is involves my theory regarding how men and women are valued differently. As mentioned before, I believe a woman’s most valuable assets are her youth and beauty (and fertility), while a man’s most valuable assets are money and social status. This is why I believe a woman’s contribution to a marriage is front-loaded, while a man’s contribution is usually back-loaded (as he makes more money over time, in most cases).Women chase after these men because they are wealthy and/or because they are famous (social status). Men chase after women because they are young/beautiful. The female “groupies” are more visible because our society focuses on celebrities; therefore, everything about their lives is more visible.
If you want to see the male version of groupies, just follow a very attractive, young woman around. They get hit on all day long — literally everywhere they go. Men don’t chase after celebrities because they don’t value money/social status in their mates like women do; they value youth/beauty, instead. This is why most male stalkers will stalk “regular” women. Women don’t have to be rich/famous to attract men (some very rich/powerful men are seen dating/marrying bartenders and waitresses), but a woman with many stalkers/suitors will almost always be young and/or beautiful.[/quote]
CAR –
Let’s add some clarification and granularity to your points. First, men chase women because they want to get laid, not because they’re beautiful. It does not matter if a woman is plain, beautiful, short, or fugly as all will garner some level of attention proportional to their attractiveness, physical or otherwise. Certainly beauty increases the odds of establishing a relationship beyond a one night stand, but other factors over time should be recognized as equally if not more important, such as chemistry, personality, and ease of being intimate. I think they are, but the challenge is that both men and women continuously change over time such that it is very difficult to discern if love / compatability will endure over the long term. My response to those who say you should marry for love and not money/beauty is – Ya Think?! For a marriage to be successful and lasting, I believe you have to get lucky.Women I think seek men primarily for attention, companionship, emotional connection, etc. with goals of culminating a long term relationship. Men of wealth and social status enjoy an advantage only at the introductory stage, albeit a big one. If they turn out to be an ass, abusive, or unfaithful, I think most women would end it. The exception is if the man is in the elite wealth club, such as Tiger, where extreme wealth can outweigh almost anything. Confusion on what truly attracts woman can occur because wealthy and powerful men on average are probably interesting and attractive in other ways by default, and would attract women regardless of their wealth. In this case, wealth and attraction can be incorrectly conflated. Therefore, the notion that wealth for men and beauty for woman are their biggest assets in securing a relationship is only correct in the context described.
The reality is that most couples meet through a variety of circumstances, fall in love, and eventually enter a long term committed relationship. It’s that simple. Most of my rich friends married with nothing more than a degree and the promise of a good career. Money was not a factor. While most rich guys seem to have hot wives, there are also a lot of poor and plain looking guys with hot wives. Likewise, it’s not uncommon to see rich men with average looking women.
cabal
ParticipantThe 48K builder credit applied to inflated builder prices can get you granite countertops, stainless appliances, average flooring and not much more in my experience. Other builder options worth considering are home theatre wiring, alarm, and intercom. Your 20K personal funds to finish the interior is low imo even taking a minimalist approach. For reference here’s an incomplete list of what I spent on my house in somewhat chronological order after closing. My house and yard is larger so the following info may not be a good reference point. Carpet: 10K, Travertine & marble flooring: 15K (2k underlayment self installed), full kitchen backsplash: 2K (self installed), refrigerator: 5K, laundry rm and garage built-ins: 5K (self installed), 10” crown mouldings: 2K(self installed, otherwise 10K with contractor), painting: 2k (painted myself), wood shutters: maybe 15K, and formal lr/dr/fr draperies: 5K.
For landscaping, I solicited quotes from reputable landscapers who were willing provide plans for free. Then I spent a month studying models and the free plans, ultimately fusing in the elements we liked to create our own unique landscape design. I purchased software to help me finish the design. The alternative was to pay a designer 2K to provide detail plans.
Completed front yard first for about 30K, which included several full size trees and plants, walls, walkways, flagstone, etc. Small plants, irrigation, drainage, lighting, and lawn were self installed with help from local workers. Hired a Bobcat guy to dig all trenches in one day and rented a jackhammer for supplemental digging. Quotes for everything were in the 50k-70K range.
For the backyard our biggest cost was the pool/spa at 60K, followed by supporting hardscape at 28K, which included outdoor kitchen structure, block walls, sidewalks, firepit, and large concrete decking. Irrigation, outdoor lighting, patio covers, plants, lawn and dirt were self installed at a combined cost of probably another 15k. Other separate high cost items are the built-in BBQ equipment. A medium size stainless BBQ will cost over 2K. Irrigation and lighting supplies were purchased at Ewing using friends contractor license. Plants and trees mostly purchased in bulk from nursery (somewhere off 78 don’t remember).
Lastly, I would recommend spending extra to get a top notch concrete finisher. They’re worth it. If you do hire a contractor be sure to secure lien releases from all subs and suppliers. Good luck.
cabal
ParticipantThe 48K builder credit applied to inflated builder prices can get you granite countertops, stainless appliances, average flooring and not much more in my experience. Other builder options worth considering are home theatre wiring, alarm, and intercom. Your 20K personal funds to finish the interior is low imo even taking a minimalist approach. For reference here’s an incomplete list of what I spent on my house in somewhat chronological order after closing. My house and yard is larger so the following info may not be a good reference point. Carpet: 10K, Travertine & marble flooring: 15K (2k underlayment self installed), full kitchen backsplash: 2K (self installed), refrigerator: 5K, laundry rm and garage built-ins: 5K (self installed), 10” crown mouldings: 2K(self installed, otherwise 10K with contractor), painting: 2k (painted myself), wood shutters: maybe 15K, and formal lr/dr/fr draperies: 5K.
For landscaping, I solicited quotes from reputable landscapers who were willing provide plans for free. Then I spent a month studying models and the free plans, ultimately fusing in the elements we liked to create our own unique landscape design. I purchased software to help me finish the design. The alternative was to pay a designer 2K to provide detail plans.
Completed front yard first for about 30K, which included several full size trees and plants, walls, walkways, flagstone, etc. Small plants, irrigation, drainage, lighting, and lawn were self installed with help from local workers. Hired a Bobcat guy to dig all trenches in one day and rented a jackhammer for supplemental digging. Quotes for everything were in the 50k-70K range.
For the backyard our biggest cost was the pool/spa at 60K, followed by supporting hardscape at 28K, which included outdoor kitchen structure, block walls, sidewalks, firepit, and large concrete decking. Irrigation, outdoor lighting, patio covers, plants, lawn and dirt were self installed at a combined cost of probably another 15k. Other separate high cost items are the built-in BBQ equipment. A medium size stainless BBQ will cost over 2K. Irrigation and lighting supplies were purchased at Ewing using friends contractor license. Plants and trees mostly purchased in bulk from nursery (somewhere off 78 don’t remember).
Lastly, I would recommend spending extra to get a top notch concrete finisher. They’re worth it. If you do hire a contractor be sure to secure lien releases from all subs and suppliers. Good luck.
cabal
ParticipantThe 48K builder credit applied to inflated builder prices can get you granite countertops, stainless appliances, average flooring and not much more in my experience. Other builder options worth considering are home theatre wiring, alarm, and intercom. Your 20K personal funds to finish the interior is low imo even taking a minimalist approach. For reference here’s an incomplete list of what I spent on my house in somewhat chronological order after closing. My house and yard is larger so the following info may not be a good reference point. Carpet: 10K, Travertine & marble flooring: 15K (2k underlayment self installed), full kitchen backsplash: 2K (self installed), refrigerator: 5K, laundry rm and garage built-ins: 5K (self installed), 10” crown mouldings: 2K(self installed, otherwise 10K with contractor), painting: 2k (painted myself), wood shutters: maybe 15K, and formal lr/dr/fr draperies: 5K.
For landscaping, I solicited quotes from reputable landscapers who were willing provide plans for free. Then I spent a month studying models and the free plans, ultimately fusing in the elements we liked to create our own unique landscape design. I purchased software to help me finish the design. The alternative was to pay a designer 2K to provide detail plans.
Completed front yard first for about 30K, which included several full size trees and plants, walls, walkways, flagstone, etc. Small plants, irrigation, drainage, lighting, and lawn were self installed with help from local workers. Hired a Bobcat guy to dig all trenches in one day and rented a jackhammer for supplemental digging. Quotes for everything were in the 50k-70K range.
For the backyard our biggest cost was the pool/spa at 60K, followed by supporting hardscape at 28K, which included outdoor kitchen structure, block walls, sidewalks, firepit, and large concrete decking. Irrigation, outdoor lighting, patio covers, plants, lawn and dirt were self installed at a combined cost of probably another 15k. Other separate high cost items are the built-in BBQ equipment. A medium size stainless BBQ will cost over 2K. Irrigation and lighting supplies were purchased at Ewing using friends contractor license. Plants and trees mostly purchased in bulk from nursery (somewhere off 78 don’t remember).
Lastly, I would recommend spending extra to get a top notch concrete finisher. They’re worth it. If you do hire a contractor be sure to secure lien releases from all subs and suppliers. Good luck.
cabal
ParticipantThe 48K builder credit applied to inflated builder prices can get you granite countertops, stainless appliances, average flooring and not much more in my experience. Other builder options worth considering are home theatre wiring, alarm, and intercom. Your 20K personal funds to finish the interior is low imo even taking a minimalist approach. For reference here’s an incomplete list of what I spent on my house in somewhat chronological order after closing. My house and yard is larger so the following info may not be a good reference point. Carpet: 10K, Travertine & marble flooring: 15K (2k underlayment self installed), full kitchen backsplash: 2K (self installed), refrigerator: 5K, laundry rm and garage built-ins: 5K (self installed), 10” crown mouldings: 2K(self installed, otherwise 10K with contractor), painting: 2k (painted myself), wood shutters: maybe 15K, and formal lr/dr/fr draperies: 5K.
For landscaping, I solicited quotes from reputable landscapers who were willing provide plans for free. Then I spent a month studying models and the free plans, ultimately fusing in the elements we liked to create our own unique landscape design. I purchased software to help me finish the design. The alternative was to pay a designer 2K to provide detail plans.
Completed front yard first for about 30K, which included several full size trees and plants, walls, walkways, flagstone, etc. Small plants, irrigation, drainage, lighting, and lawn were self installed with help from local workers. Hired a Bobcat guy to dig all trenches in one day and rented a jackhammer for supplemental digging. Quotes for everything were in the 50k-70K range.
For the backyard our biggest cost was the pool/spa at 60K, followed by supporting hardscape at 28K, which included outdoor kitchen structure, block walls, sidewalks, firepit, and large concrete decking. Irrigation, outdoor lighting, patio covers, plants, lawn and dirt were self installed at a combined cost of probably another 15k. Other separate high cost items are the built-in BBQ equipment. A medium size stainless BBQ will cost over 2K. Irrigation and lighting supplies were purchased at Ewing using friends contractor license. Plants and trees mostly purchased in bulk from nursery (somewhere off 78 don’t remember).
Lastly, I would recommend spending extra to get a top notch concrete finisher. They’re worth it. If you do hire a contractor be sure to secure lien releases from all subs and suppliers. Good luck.
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