Selecting a Roommate/Housemate

[CA renter]

[quote=north park girl]I have lots of experience with roommates, both as a renter moving into a house, and now as a homeowner. All in all, I’ve had a total of 11 different roommates in the last 3.5 years, and all have been pretty good situations. I tend to look for:

1. Have they lived with roommates before? It’s a very different dynamic than living by yourself and many who are used to living on their own are not used to sharing their space.

2. Photo of their previous living space. I’ve never done this but I read about it somewhere and it seems like a good idea. Gives you an idea of cleanliness, decor, how “lived in” their space is, a bit of their personality.

3. Why are they moving? Watch out for baggage (breaking up with a boyfriend of 10 years, like one woman I interviewed).

4. How much time do they spend at home? Do they watch a lot of TV or movies? Do they cook often?

5. Typical sleep hours, do they like playing music around the house or would rather want quiet? Are having guests over OK?

6. Cleanliness.

7. Smoking, drugs, alcohol.

7. Credit history, and possible references from previous roommates

Generally though, I just look for someone I feel I will get along with but isn’t going to be too needy or clingy.[/quote]

All good points.

I’ve always had roommates by choice, even after Mr. CAR and I married (for a short while, they pretty much refused to leave). Can’t even count how many different people I’ve lived with, but there are some very important rules that probably made most of my roommate situations pretty positive — some, I still miss to this day.

We ALWAYS wrote up a list of rules, that we jointly came up with, specifying how we would handle:

-Guests…especially overnight guests. This is a biggie, as you might end up with twice the number of “roommates” than what you had originally wanted. Also, while you might go through great pains to select the right roommate, you don’t get to choose these additional “roommates” if you allow unlimited overnight guests. I cannot overstate this enough; it’s probably one of the biggest glitches in roommate situations that I’ve seen.

-Use of common living space (parties, TV/stereo usage, noise levels, whether drinking or smoking is allowed inside or outside, etc.)

-Cleaning — Make sure everyone understands what they are responsible for and also discuss what everyone’s expectations are WRT cleanliness.

-Cooking and household items. Does everyone have their own cabinets or refrigerator shelves? How do you handle “staples” like napkins, paper towels, condiments, etc. Some roommates will go through a lot of this stuff, but never expect to pay for it. Some people don’t mind paying for it, but never using it, but everyone should at least know what the expectations are.

-Rent- Make sure everyone understands when the rent is due and what the consequences will be if it’s not paid on time. There is nothing worse than a deadbeat roommate who is always asking you to cover their rent “just this time.” Not coincidentally, these are usually the same roommates who like to throw parties and mess up your common areas, and enjoy having multiple “overnight guests” of questionable character. Screen well up front, so you don’t have to deal with these. I’ve had two of them, and they were “friends of friends” we were “helping out.” Never again.

All that being said, having good roommates/friends whose company you really enjoy can be one of life’s greatest joys. I’ve had the pleasure of living with multiple people for a number of years, and I wouldn’t have traded the experience for anything.

Good luck to your friend. Hope he has an enjoyable experience.

[scaredyclassic]

Porn in the living area can be an issue. I am not opposed to moderate pornography viewing, but one roommate used to leave it on all the time, kinda like background tv. It was on when he was having cereal in the morning. I got a little tired of it, especially in the morning, since sex doesn’t seem interesting to me before 10 a.m. and I definitely don’t want to see or hear people copulating while I am trying to get breakfast going. But I got kind of used to it, I guess.

i did not mind the fairly steady stream of women he had coming in who he slept with. Dude liked sex.

[scaredyclassic]

Porn in the living area can be an issue. I am not opposed to moderate pornography viewing, but one roommate used to leave it on all the time, kinda like background tv. It was on when he was having cereal in the morning. I got a little tired of it, especially in the morning, since sex doesn’t seem interesting to me before 10 a.m. and I definitely don’t want to see or hear people copulating while I am trying to get breakfast going. But I got kind of used to it, I guess.

i did not mind the fairly steady stream of women he had coming in who he slept with. Dude liked sex.

[scaredyclassic]

Porn in the living area can be an issue. I am not opposed to moderate pornography viewing, but one roommate used to leave it on all the time, kinda like background tv. It was on when he was having cereal in the morning. I got a little tired of it, especially in the morning, since sex doesn’t seem interesting to me before 10 a.m. and I definitely don’t want to see or hear people copulating while I am trying to get breakfast going. But I got kind of used to it, I guess.

i did not mind the fairly steady stream of women he had coming in who he slept with. Dude liked sex.

[scaredyclassic]

Porn in the living area can be an issue. I am not opposed to moderate pornography viewing, but one roommate used to leave it on all the time, kinda like background tv. It was on when he was having cereal in the morning. I got a little tired of it, especially in the morning, since sex doesn’t seem interesting to me before 10 a.m. and I definitely don’t want to see or hear people copulating while I am trying to get breakfast going. But I got kind of used to it, I guess.

i did not mind the fairly steady stream of women he had coming in who he slept with. Dude liked sex.

[scaredyclassic]

Porn in the living area can be an issue. I am not opposed to moderate pornography viewing, but one roommate used to leave it on all the time, kinda like background tv. It was on when he was having cereal in the morning. I got a little tired of it, especially in the morning, since sex doesn’t seem interesting to me before 10 a.m. and I definitely don’t want to see or hear people copulating while I am trying to get breakfast going. But I got kind of used to it, I guess.

i did not mind the fairly steady stream of women he had coming in who he slept with. Dude liked sex.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure how it will impact your situation, but over the years I’ve noticed a serious structural imbalance in the roommate market:

You frequently see “Roommate Wanted” ads, but you never see “Roommate for Sale”.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure how it will impact your situation, but over the years I’ve noticed a serious structural imbalance in the roommate market:

You frequently see “Roommate Wanted” ads, but you never see “Roommate for Sale”.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure how it will impact your situation, but over the years I’ve noticed a serious structural imbalance in the roommate market:

You frequently see “Roommate Wanted” ads, but you never see “Roommate for Sale”.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure how it will impact your situation, but over the years I’ve noticed a serious structural imbalance in the roommate market:

You frequently see “Roommate Wanted” ads, but you never see “Roommate for Sale”.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure how it will impact your situation, but over the years I’ve noticed a serious structural imbalance in the roommate market:

You frequently see “Roommate Wanted” ads, but you never see “Roommate for Sale”.

[Ren]

Use Craigslist, but don’t just advertise for a roommate, specify exactly what you’re looking for – which includes personality traits. I found my wife that way, and it worked out extremely well.

A few years ago I heard a morning radio show do a call-in bit with listeners’ worst roommate horror stories. It’s incredible how thoughtless, rude, and disgusting some people can be. One that stuck with me is the case of the shared bathroom. The roommate would… take care of himself, clean up with a towel, then hang the towel back on the rack.

[Ren]

Use Craigslist, but don’t just advertise for a roommate, specify exactly what you’re looking for – which includes personality traits. I found my wife that way, and it worked out extremely well.

A few years ago I heard a morning radio show do a call-in bit with listeners’ worst roommate horror stories. It’s incredible how thoughtless, rude, and disgusting some people can be. One that stuck with me is the case of the shared bathroom. The roommate would… take care of himself, clean up with a towel, then hang the towel back on the rack.

[Ren]

Use Craigslist, but don’t just advertise for a roommate, specify exactly what you’re looking for – which includes personality traits. I found my wife that way, and it worked out extremely well.

A few years ago I heard a morning radio show do a call-in bit with listeners’ worst roommate horror stories. It’s incredible how thoughtless, rude, and disgusting some people can be. One that stuck with me is the case of the shared bathroom. The roommate would… take care of himself, clean up with a towel, then hang the towel back on the rack.

[Ren]

Use Craigslist, but don’t just advertise for a roommate, specify exactly what you’re looking for – which includes personality traits. I found my wife that way, and it worked out extremely well.

A few years ago I heard a morning radio show do a call-in bit with listeners’ worst roommate horror stories. It’s incredible how thoughtless, rude, and disgusting some people can be. One that stuck with me is the case of the shared bathroom. The roommate would… take care of himself, clean up with a towel, then hang the towel back on the rack.

[Author]

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