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cvmom.
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July 16, 2012 at 10:20 AM #748117July 16, 2012 at 10:59 AM #748119
cvmom
Participant[quote=briansd1]Playing a musical instrument makes a person well rounded. Piano, guitar or violin.[/quote]
Even learning a musical instrument is cut-throat these days. Whether your kid is first or second chair in the middle school orchestra–woe to the poor teacher who has to make that call. And you should have seen the brouhaha when a kid won a piano competition as a newcomer. There were accusations that the judges had been tampered with because his parent (me) left the room to go to the restroom while the decisions were being made!!! No kidding. Next competition, all parents were required to stay in the room while the judges deliberated–no bathroom breaks allowed. And this is middle school, for gods sake.
Lots of other stories where that one came from!
July 16, 2012 at 11:09 AM #748120
CoronitaParticipantMaybe I can get my kid to get involved in scca and eventually formula 1. Not too much competition from her peers in that idea I would say.
July 16, 2012 at 11:12 AM #748121CoronitaParticipant[quote=cvmom][quote=briansd1]Playing a musical instrument makes a person well rounded. Piano, guitar or violin.[/quote]
Even learning a musical instrument is cut-throat these days. Whether your kid is first or second chair in the middle school orchestra–woe to the poor teacher who has to make that call. And you should have seen the brouhaha when a kid won a piano competition as a newcomer. There were accusations that the judges had been tampered with because his parent (me) left the room to go to the restroom while the decisions were being made!!! No kidding. Next competition, all parents were required to stay in the room while the judges deliberated–no bathroom breaks allowed. And this is middle school, for gods sake.
Lots of other stories where that one came from![/quote]
That’s why I have thus far resisted buying a piano or violin.
Maybe a sax or a set of drums. But hell no to the piano and violin…
you know there’s got to be a better way than this ultra-competition way of thinking. It sucks.
I need to create/buy a franchise. It’s the only way me thinks.
July 16, 2012 at 12:13 PM #748127Allan from Fallbrook
Participant[quote=briansd1]I personally believe that the conventional approach to success doesn’t work as well anymore.
We live in globalized world. Why not spend money to send kids on travel/camp in Europe, China, Indonesia, or Latin America? Expose them to the world early.
Playing a musical instrument makes a person well rounded. Piano, guitar or violin.[/quote]
Brian: Definitely agree on the travel. We traveled a lot when I was a kid, including to Germany to visit relatives, which took us all over Europe (since everything is so close by car/rail.)
My dad would take a minimum of two weeks every summer, more generally a month, and we’d go. All over the US, Canada and Mexico, and all with the stated purpose of going “over the horizon”, as my dad called it.
It makes a huge difference and Americans are far too insular. Lots of cool stuff to see out there and you don’t get the “feel” of it from watching Travel Channel.
July 16, 2012 at 12:17 PM #748128Participant[quote=cvmom][quote=briansd1]Playing a musical instrument makes a person well rounded. Piano, guitar or violin.[/quote]
Even learning a musical instrument is cut-throat these days. Whether your kid is first or second chair in the middle school orchestra–woe to the poor teacher who has to make that call. And you should have seen the brouhaha when a kid won a piano competition as a newcomer. There were accusations that the judges had been tampered with because his parent (me) left the room to go to the restroom while the decisions were being made!!! No kidding. Next competition, all parents were required to stay in the room while the judges deliberated–no bathroom breaks allowed. And this is middle school, for gods sake.
Lots of other stories where that one came from![/quote]
My daughter rides competitive hunter/jumper and it is insane, especially when it comes to judging shows and competitions. I have seen normal appearing women literally come unglued when their daughter didn’t win and/or place appropriately in a show. You have moms obsessively checking their iPhones for point updates on-line and haranguing coaches, trainers and judges when they’re unhappy with an outcome.
It’s gotten more fun for my son and I to sit back and watch this nonsense taking place, than watching the show itself. It makes you shake your head in amazement at how much we’ve lost our collective minds over this shit.
July 16, 2012 at 12:19 PM #748129an
Participant[quote=briansd1]I personally believe that the conventional approach to success doesn’t work as well anymore.
We live in globalized world. Why not spend money to send kids on travel/camp in Europe, China, Indonesia, or Latin America? Expose them to the world early.
Playing a musical instrument makes a person well rounded. Piano, guitar or violin.[/quote]
What is “conventional”? What make you think those “tiger parents” won’t send their kids to travel/camp in other countries? You wouldn’t want to send your 6 years old to travel in Europe by themselves. Maybe when they’re 18-22? That’s what study abroad is for.July 16, 2012 at 12:47 PM #748130maverick
Participantpersonally, i come from a very traditional asian household where excellence not perfection was emphasized.
while i don’t subscribe to the
comprehensive ‘tiger’ pedagogy – i don’t fault parents for wanting the best for their children. who wouldn’t right? and perhaps some of the tiger fundamentals work w/in reason.however, just like anything else i choose to not contribute to these conversations where the parent is clearly going off the deep-end. believe me, i have friends/families that talk this talk and if they have to say it in a way that is off-putting then they will be in a prison their whole life.
the prison of being judged by whatever other people think of them. i find that the people who constantly compare will always be disappointed no matter what…not much room for happiness and it’s too bad if they never realize this.
i always default to this “there is always a mountain taller than the other (Chinese idiom)”
there will always be someone prettier, richer, taller, smarter,faster than i so trying to outbeat that is a recipe for failure.
July 16, 2012 at 12:52 PM #748131sdrealtor
Participantvery wise words
July 16, 2012 at 1:16 PM #748134ParticipantJust goes to show that it really isn’t an “Asian” problem…lots of Caucasian parents in the tiger parent mode, and lots of sane Asians like maverick and flu
July 16, 2012 at 1:44 PM #748135Anonymous
Guest[quote=flu]That’s why I have thus far resisted buying a piano or violin.[/quote]
Eh, you know you can teach your kids music without participating in competition?
We have a piano. It hasn’t created any controversy. Sure we have to prod the kids to practice regularly, but we haven’t been harassed by “tiger” people yet.
July 16, 2012 at 1:45 PM #748136Guest[quote=cvmom]Just goes to show that it really isn’t an “Asian” problem…lots of Caucasian parents in the tiger parent mode, and lots of sane Asians like maverick and flu[/quote]
Yes, but it’s more fun to stereotype.
July 16, 2012 at 3:20 PM #748143poorgradstudent
ParticipantI’m skeptical a true Tiger Mom would brag about their kids. A Tiger Mom hangs her head in shame when her son comes home with only an A- on his latest paper. A Tiger Dad frets when his daughter only gets a 2250 on her SAT.
July 16, 2012 at 3:53 PM #748144flyer
ParticipantReally interesting to hear what’s going on out there at this point in time. The stories don’t really surprise me, and I do feel sorry for the kids.
When I hear about “tiger parenting” or “entitlement parenting” I just hope these kids are also being made aware that their lives may not go as scripted, and are being taught how to cope with “real life.” You can raise a child to perfection within a controlled environment, but that is not the real world.
Our kids had everything, but we made sure they also knew that even with all of their “entitlements” there would still be a day when they would become responsible for their own lives, and made them aware of the realities of coping with real-life situations. Perhaps that’s one reason they’ve all done very well.
The most astounding thing to my wife and I, is the extremely high percentage of kids my kids knew, from many backgrounds–including those who were extremely entitled–who have not found their niche in life and cannot support themselves after college. At that point, their parents must REALLY be wondering what went wrong along the way.
July 16, 2012 at 4:04 PM #748145SK in CV
Participant[quote=cvmom]It’s really tough parenting in CV with the tiger parents. And it only gets worse and more cut-throat as the kids get older…and those parents will do ANYTHING to get their kids a leg up on the “competition”. I’ve seen it all already, and my kid is just entering high school. Nasty. And what awful role models for their kids.[/quote]
I have to disagree with you here. It’s not tough at all, unless you get caught up in it. Just don’t. And make sure your kids know that they’re only competing with themeselves. They don’t have to be better than anyone else, they only have to be as good as they can be.
Both of my kids had friends that were regularly pissed off when someone else did something good. My kids were always happy for their friends when they did something good. A much healthier mindset.
And it all turned out good. They’re both the best kids ever 🙂
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