OT: How much baggage will you accept?

[flyer]

This is fascinating. I had my wife read the last few entries of this thread, and neither of us could understand why true love was never mentioned.

My wife is a “TF Baby,” highly educated, from a great family, etc., etc., and she feels I have my attributes as well. When we met, we each considered the other a “catch,” for all of the right reasons, but without love, neither of us would have found the level of happiness we have enjoyed, and would never have considered forming a permanent relationship.

[CA renter]

[quote=flyer]This is fascinating. I had my wife read the last few entries of this thread, and neither of us could understand why true love was never mentioned.

My wife is a “TF Baby,” highly educated, from a great family, etc., etc., and she feels I have my attributes as well. When we met, we each considered the other a “catch,” for all of the right reasons, but without love, neither of us would have found the level of happiness we have enjoyed, and would never have considered forming a permanent relationship.[/quote]

IMO, some kind of love/lust is assumed. Real love isn’t experienced until many years into the relationship (again, IMO). The first part is usually hormone/chemical reactions and lust. Love comes after the couple has experienced some trials and tribulations…then, when you look over, expecting the other person to be ready to bug out, he/she is still there with a smile, ready to tackle the next obstacle with you. That is love! 🙂

For the sake of this incredibly long discussion, though, let’s assume that “love” (however one defines it) is a given.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=flyer]This is fascinating. I had my wife read the last few entries of this thread, and neither of us could understand why true love was never mentioned.

My wife is a “TF Baby,” highly educated, from a great family, etc., etc., and she feels I have my attributes as well. When we met, we each considered the other a “catch,” for all of the right reasons, but without love, neither of us would have found the level of happiness we have enjoyed, and would never have considered forming a permanent relationship.[/quote]

Just like in a harlequin romance!

True love? The male and female brains are attached to animals that want to breed not love.

[NotCranky]

No love in the absence of procreation?

[scaredyclassic]

I don’t know. Our brains are wired to get us to do all kinds of things.

Love is a powerful schedule 1 narcotic not some relationship cement. It’s the stuff we shoot up that can kill. Coke is st Josephs aspirin for children or a baby tylenol compared to love.

It should be illegal to make decisions under its influence because technically your insane

[scaredyclassic]

When young people say love what do they mean.

I would like to fuck your brains out literally all weekend, you make me laugh, I hope you never leave.

Everything else is financial planning.

[NotCranky]

I won;t say this is conclusive but love is about procreation but it belongs to the human race which is a procreative force together . It’s most concentrated when two people want to make babies.

There is a saying in Mexico , “The baby brings the torta under his arm”. That’s the essence of love.

There is potentially love for and from everyone on the tribal basis even if it comes from procreation.

[NotCranky]

Do you upper crust people avoid drama in your relationships really?
Brian mentions avoiding drama, I see polite people as being as dramatic as anyone else , just less likely to get you in the emergency room.

Not sure how to say what I want to say. But if you put a man and a woman together there is going to be some drama.

As to love, that’s an instinct , it can be there from the start, no problem and it can hang around in the right environment and not in the wrong.It seems like Love survives by keeping the environment right and makes shared affection possible. That’s an art. Maybe in old age something different but good (i am not old yet so I don’t know).

Love generally comes first ask any man who has tried to give his wife some affection when the environment wasn’t right ….drama, Unless it was a financial transaction.

Brian has never sounded to me like he would be setting up the right environment for love and affection to me, not with a woman from any “class” Some money is going to have to change hands and I don’t think it will be from any woman to Brian.

Saying that you are not going to marry below yourself is drama.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar]I won;t say this is conclusive but love is about procreation but it belongs to the human race which is a procreative force together . It’s most concentrated when two people want to make babies.

There is a saying in Mexico , “The baby brings the torta under his arm”. That’s the essence of love.

There is potentially love for and from everyone on the tribal basis even if it comes from procreation.[/quote]

I’m not steeped in the genre but I imagine romance novels generally don’t include realistic scenes if family life with young children.

When I think of love I think of powerful uncontrollable life impairing emotions …not the stuff sensible decisions are made from. Like I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND playing ceaselessly in some deep brain region.

Irritating.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar]I won;t say this is conclusive but love is about procreation but it belongs to the human race which is a procreative force together . It’s most concentrated when two people want to make babies.

There is a saying in Mexico , “The baby brings the torta under his arm”. That’s the essence of love.

There is potentially love for and from everyone on the tribal basis even if it comes from procreation.[/quote]

or as we chant on the playground

First comes love
Then come marriage
Then come flyer in the baby carriage!

Two is romantic. Three is work.

[NotCranky]

[quote=scaredyclassic][quote=Blogstar]I won;t say this is conclusive but love is about procreation but it belongs to the human race which is a procreative force together . It’s most concentrated when two people want to make babies.

There is a saying in Mexico , “The baby brings the torta under his arm”. That’s the essence of love.

There is potentially love for and from everyone on the tribal basis even if it comes from procreation.[/quote]

I’m not steeped in the genre but I imagine romance novels generally don’t include realistic scenes if family life with young children.

When I think of love I think of powerful uncontrollable life impairing emotions …not the stuff sensible decisions are made from. Like I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND playing ceaselessly in some deep brain region.

Irritating.[/quote]
Do they have orgasms in romance novels? Maybe they are some kind of aphrodisiac But no orgasm. I have never read one.

[NotCranky]

[quote=scaredyclassic][quote=Blogstar]I won;t say this is conclusive but love is about procreation but it belongs to the human race which is a procreative force together . It’s most concentrated when two people want to make babies.

There is a saying in Mexico , “The baby brings the torta under his arm”. That’s the essence of love.

There is potentially love for and from everyone on the tribal basis even if it comes from procreation.[/quote]

or as we chant on the playground

First comes love
Then come marriage
Then come flyer in the baby carriage!

Two is romantic. Three is work.[/quote]

On that note:
I have some lunches to pack.

[scaredyclassic]

as you pack, repeat this …

Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.

Part Three: Love

XXXVII

LOVE is anterior to life,
Posterior to death,
Initial of creation, and
The exponent of breath.

or whatever it takes to get through the day

[NotCranky]

[quote=scaredyclassic]as you pack, repeat this …

Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.

Part Three: Love

XXXVII

LOVE is anterior to life,
Posterior to death,
Initial of creation, and
The exponent of breath.

or whatever it takes to get through the day[/quote]
That one is definitely going on the dashboard of my mini-van.

Girls are sugar and spice and everything nice!
Boys are snakes and snails and puppy dog tails!

Pre-feminist chant designed to oppress men.

[zk]

[quote=scaredyclassic]

Just like in a harlequin romance!
[/quote]

That’s the funniest thing on this forum in a while.

[quote=FlyerInHi]Kidding, but mostly serious.

I’m thinking rationally here.
I’ve seen my friends and colleagues marry below them and the results are not pretty. I’m sure they’re fine, but looking in from my vantage point, I don’t see the upside. They are not getting richer despite the spouses’ imputed incomes.

I don’t want a divorcee who can’t make kids, is set in her ways, and is bossy. But if I work as a house-husband with income to go along, then I’m willing to please my “employer” and earn my salary. If the “employer” can’t pay, then she’s useless to me.

I can offer someone 20 years my junior a fairly good lifestyle. And as CAr said, she can offer her youth and beauty in exchange. Fair trade.

Pretty much all my peers have gone the way of Val Kilmer. I’m still the Tom Cruise. So, yeah, I think I’m a catch.

The Myers-Briggs test doesn’t really apply to me. I’m kinda extroverted (I will talk and make friends with all my neighbors), I make decisions quickly, but that doesn’t mean I’m impatient and rash (e.g. never get upset with restaurant service). I actually have supreme patience and I’ve practiced being very calm and zen. One can change to be what one wants to be.

My real personality is closer to INTP, I think. But I can adjust pretty easily. That’s why I believe I’d do well with the daughter of a tiger mom. A strong person who can deal with the realities of the world.[/quote]

If you trade lifestyle for beauty/youth, it might be a fair trade, a reasonable transaction, but you end up with a hooker. ‘Course, on the bright side, she might not care that you’re fos.

[Author]

Posts