OT: How much baggage will you accept?

[FlyerInHi]

Does a $7k wedding qualify as a dream wedding or a compromise wedding?

[UCGal]

Lets see – we were married on a bluff above the beach in La Jolla. I had a beautiful, hand-sewn raw silk dress and a lovely rose bouquet. My family and his family was there, along with close friends. We had a luncheon reception at a beachfront restaurant in North County. We arrived at the reception in a vintage, convertable Edsel. After the lunch we had a really nice reception for a bigger group of friends at my sisters house with beer and wine.

Since we lived in Philadelphia at the time – we had a separate reception for 100 at a catering hall, a month later. Menu included a choice of stuffed fish or chicken, etc. (The food was super yummy).

Both events (wedding and bigger reception a month later) came out to less than $5k. The additional $2k included our travel to/from San Diego for the wedding, our lodging for the trip. and a trip to my best friend’s house in WA state for a fitting on the dress she made me.

We spent an additional $3500 for a trip to Maui for our honeymoon. Had a balcony overlooking the water… that we got a great deal on. It had a kitchenette in the room, so we were able to eat some meals in – which is my strong preference. (I don’t like having to get dressed and ready to go just to have breakfast!… I want to lounge comfortably and drink coffee while looking at the water.)

Yes. It was *my* dream wedding. But I never had the dream of having little net bags of jordon almonds, 12 bridesmaids and groomsmen, and a catered meal for semi-strangers.

Couldn’t have asked for a prettier place to get married. Here’s a picture with my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather.

[img_assist|nid=19275|title=grandparents wedding|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=75|height=100]

[FlyerInHi]

Let’s say your Philly reception for 100 was 1/2 the budget of $5000. That works out to $25 per person.

I take it you didn’t engage the services of a wedding planner. Don’t you know they need to make a living too?!

Joking here. Congrats on doing it your way.

[UCGal]

[quote=FlyerInHi]Let’s say your Philly reception for 100 was 1/2 the budget of $5000. That works out to $25 per person.

I take it you didn’t engage the services of a wedding planner. Don’t you know they need to make a living too?!

Joking here. Congrats on doing it your way.[/quote]

Reception was for $3700. We negotiated a lower rate by insisting it not be considered a “wedding” reception. They charge $15/person more if the word wedding is associated with the event. We also negotiated a better rate because DH had various business meetings held at this hall and they wanted the continuing business. We had a dj for the entertainment.

The wedding was super low cost. Rental chairs for the service, the pastor’s fees & tip, I made the bouquets, corsages, boutineers with flowers from a bulk rose grower. The beachfront venue (The Beach House on 101) gave us the side room, and let us order off the menu since there were only 20 of us. My sister catered the party for 60, later that night, with easy food from costco.

The wedding industry has convinced us we need to spend huge amounts of money on stupid stuff. The diamond cartel has us convinced to spend multiple months of salary on an engagement ring. What really matters is to profess your commitment in front of family and friends, to pledge… The rest is all fluff and profitable for others.

No – I didn’t have a wedding planner. LOL.

[spdrun]

UC Gal – congrats! (Both on your wedding and not buying into the planner hype.)

[scaredyclassic]

We got married in a church and had the reception in the basement of Carlos Obrien so a Mexican restaurang. Food was cheap. Venue was close to free. Dress was made by a relative. Biggest expense was a hippie rabbi willing to do his thing inside a Catholic church. That cost me 500 which he used to feed the homeless or something.

Was worth 500 so my mom didn’t have to rend her garments and wail.

No ring. Offered to get her one now. She refused.

[spdrun]

Hopefully you had a badass honeymoon!

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=UCGal]Lets see – we were married on a bluff above the beach in La Jolla. I had a beautiful, hand-sewn raw silk dress and a lovely rose bouquet. My family and his family was there, along with close friends. We had a luncheon reception at a beachfront restaurant in North County. We arrived at the reception in a vintage, convertable Edsel. After the lunch we had a really nice reception for a bigger group of friends at my sisters house with beer and wine.

Since we lived in Philadelphia at the time – we had a separate reception for 100 at a catering hall, a month later. Menu included a choice of stuffed fish or chicken, etc. (The food was super yummy).

Both events (wedding and bigger reception a month later) came out to less than $5k. The additional $2k included our travel to/from San Diego for the wedding, our lodging for the trip. and a trip to my best friend’s house in WA state for a fitting on the dress she made me.

We spent an additional $3500 for a trip to Maui for our honeymoon. Had a balcony overlooking the water… that we got a great deal on. It had a kitchenette in the room, so we were able to eat some meals in – which is my strong preference. (I don’t like having to get dressed and ready to go just to have breakfast!… I want to lounge comfortably and drink coffee while looking at the water.)

Yes. It was *my* dream wedding. But I never had the dream of having little net bags of jordon almonds, 12 bridesmaids and groomsmen, and a catered meal for semi-strangers.

Couldn’t have asked for a prettier place to get married. Here’s a picture with my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather.

[img_assist|nid=19275|title=grandparents wedding|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=75|height=100][/quote]

Your dad’s grandpa looks kind of fun.

[scaredyclassic]

Up the CA coast. We were happy and dumb. And basically like my kids age plus a few years.

I think we spent 1000?

[scaredyclassic]

This is kind of a deep thread.

[CA renter]

You’re very good with money, UCGal. You got a lot of “wedding” for that money!

Love the pic, too! Beautiful! You have gorgeous hair. Definitely look Irish (though I know you’re Italian). 🙂

[bearishgurl]

[quote=scaredyclassic]This is kind of a deep thread.[/quote]

FWIW, me and my ex-spouse spent about $900 for our wedding (for 77 guests) … in the 1970’s, LOL. That included $69 each (no tax) for gold wedding bands at the Navy Exchange and my homemade dress costing ~$88 in materials. ($500 was donated by my mom and the rest was our expense.)

My ex-spouses mom paid for the rehearsal dinner for 22 people the night before the wedding. All paying parties are now deceased except for me and my ex-H and our kids.

The marriage lasted 21 yrs until I filed for divorce and nearly 26 years until the divorce was final. What does this tell you?

[CA renter]

Just for fun, I looked up the most expensive weddings in history. Of the top 12, only 4 of them haven’t separated/divorced yet; 8 have separated or divorced (most divorced). Of the 4 who are still married, 3 of the couples are still youngish and/or more recently married, so probably haven’t yet experienced many of the trials and tribulations that come with a long-term marriage. The other couple is Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, and rumor has it that they’ve been having problems and have even separated for awhile.

http://www.businessinsider.com/most-expensive-weddings-2010-7?op=1

If anything, there seems to be an inverse relationship between the high cost of a wedding and the chance that it will succeed. IMHO, that makes sense, as the type of person who obsesses over a fancy/expensive wedding (the superficial, where all the glory is) usually isn’t the type who obsesses over having a good marriage with all of the planning, work, sacrifice, and “boring” stuff that needs to happen in order to make it successful .

[scaredyclassic]

After all, the prize truly is me not the wedding

[UCGal]

[quote=CA renter]Definitely look Irish (though I know you’re Italian). :)[/quote]
I’m married to an Italian…. according to 23andMe I’m 70% British/scottish/Irish. According to family history, I’m 1/8th German.

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