OT: How much baggage will you accept?

[CA renter]

It might be “sexist,” but it’s reality, whether we like it or not. I’m sure most women would gladly trade places with men as far as the youth/beauty-for-money transaction goes. After all, one has some control over whether or not s/he has money, but very little control over one’s (natural) looks…and aging cannot be controlled at all.

FWIW, there are very few men who would marry a woman for money…but quite a few women who would marry a man for his looks (or sense of humor, intelligence, character, etc.). Men tend to have many variables with which they can attract women, while women have only one (for the most part) with which to attract men. Men are very much the winners in this deal.

And while most men would argue that you have to be physically attracted to your wife in order to have a good marriage, most women would argue that having a husband who makes a decent living is necessary for a good marriage, as well. There are always exceptions, of course, but that doesn’t change the rule.

So, while intelligent men will want a wife for things other than ONLY beauty; and intelligent women will want a husband for things other than ONLY money, both of these things are very highly prized by the respective sexes. It’s been this way throughout human history…again, whether we like it or not.

[zk]

[quote=FlyerInHi]
Hands with long slender fingers like those of piano player are more beautiful. [/quote]

I’ve always found long slender fingers witchlike and ugly. And shallow people boring and… shallow.

To each his own, I guess.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=zk][quote=FlyerInHi]
Hands with long slender fingers like those of piano player are more beautiful. [/quote]

I’ve always found long slender fingers witchlike and ugly. And shallow people boring and… shallow.

To each his own, I guess.[/quote]

my hands are creepy and skinny. my dad’s were thick and cool. i loved how he had these leather gloves in winter that would just hold his exact hand shape when he took them off. thin hands look weak and probably are weak and therefore probably have to resort to witchcracft to get things done. thats why they seem witchlike.

i am working on hand and grip stregth exercises. john brookfield wrote the definitive work in this field. im getting a little better but i dont hve much to work with

[FlyerInHi]

It takes depth of perception to separate and examine all the traits that make up a person.

Novelists are good at it.

When time came to bit goodbye, he held her hands for all long moment. She closed her eyes and savored the warm touch. Her hands were slender soft and silky….

[zk]

[quote=FlyerInHi]
When time came to bit goodbye… [/quote]

I thought we were going to have some Twilight Saga action for a second there.

[svelte]

CAR, I’m gonna guess that you are a stay at home mom.

I think that would explain your skewed perspective. Stay-at-home moms tend to cling to older traditional concepts as you’ve described. But that doesn’t match reality.

Either that or you’re black – and I’ll explain why I say that below, where I’ll back up my position with factual data not generalizations and stereotypes.

[quote=CA renter]… most women would argue that having a husband who makes a decent living is necessary for a good marriage, as well. There are always exceptions, of course, but that doesn’t change the rule.
[/quote]

This is simply not true. Most women would NOT argue that a hubby who makes a good living is necessary for a good marriage. See attached data.

Your statement is only true of the subset of women who are black. It is not true of American women in general, and is especially not true of white American women.

[img_assist|nid=19270|title=Pew Data A|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=335|height=554]
[img_assist|nid=19271|title=Pew Data B|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=612|height=494]

[svelte]

[quote=CA renter]So, while intelligent men will want a wife for things other than ONLY beauty; and intelligent women will want a husband for things other than ONLY money, both of these things are very highly prized by the respective sexes. It’s been this way throughout human history…again, whether we like it or not.[/quote]

I showed you were wrong in the prior post…now I’m also going to show you that household norms are changing and rapidly, so what may have been true in the past may no longer be true. There has been an ENORMOUS shift in marriage expectations in just the last 30 years.

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/iii-marriage/#what-makes-a-good-partner

[img_assist|nid=19272|title=Pew Data C|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=335|height=392]

[scaredyclassic]

I just don’t believe that money isn’t critical to women.

They may not answer the question yes that money makes a good husband.

I think it would just be perceived as necessary …

Social norms make it difficult to say money makes a good husband. Sounds grubby.

People lie.

Women want a good earning husband.

Sorry. I’m old. Not gonna change my mind.

[svelte]

[quote=scaredyclassic]I just don’t believe that money isn’t critical to women.

They may not answer the question yes that money makes a good husband.

I think it would just be perceived as necessary …

Social norms make it difficult to say money makes a good husband. Sounds grubby.

People lie.

Women want a good earning husband.

Sorry. I’m old. Not gonna change my mind.[/quote]

lol. Yeah, don’t let facts get in the way of your opinion. 🙂

[scaredyclassic]

Um. Facts?
Just cause someone answers a question a certain way don’t make it a fact.

In fact I would say it is a fact that women say they want things other than what they claim or even think they want.

Hypothetically $ not important in my fantasy cosmopolitan questionnaire.

But what is reality on the ground?

Special snowflake white women seem less forthcoming than black respondents.

[scaredyclassic]

People lie.

Quote from within actual study…

Despite the public’s strong preference for the two-earner/shared homemaker marriage, the public hasn’t fully abandoned the idea that men and women play different roles in a marriage. Indeed, when it comes to evaluating the earning power of future mates, the public still has one standard for prospective husbands and a different one for future wives.

Asked how important it is for a man to be able to support a family financially if he wants to get married, fully 67% of the public say it is “very important.” But when the same question is asked about a woman, just 33% say it is very important.

[scaredyclassic]

Theoretically I think all kinds of bs.

What I actually do? Different story

[zk]

[quote=scaredyclassic]

In fact I would say it is a fact that women say they want things other than what they claim or even think they want.

[/quote]

[quote=scaredyclassic]

Theoretically I think all kinds of bs.
What I actually do? Different story
[/quote]

Wow. A couple of classics from scaredyclassic.

[scaredyclassic]

Maybe this trend is due to less men having incomes. Expectations therefore scaled down.

Or maybe people are getting more romantic, aka dumber.

[scaredyclassic]

Families really are too expensive for many americans

[Author]

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