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CA renter.
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October 12, 2014 at 11:35 PM #778640October 13, 2014 at 1:15 AM #778641
CA renter
Participant[quote=njtosd][quote=CA renter][quote=svelte][quote=flyer]Not all beautiful women are vacuous gold diggers, just as not all handsome men are shallow trophy wife collectors, and I have to agree, to each his/her own when choosing a partner for all of the right
reasons–love, happiness, achieving life goals, etc., etc.The wedding, the ring, the fabulous honeymoon, the great house, and all of the “stuff” are nice, and we’ve all been there, but, IMO, what makes the relationship lasting and beautiful is the deeper bond that’s been forged by things that money can’t buy.[/quote]
Agree with every word.
That’s why alarm bells would go off if I even caught a whiff of a potential spouse that was marrying me for the money. To those who are together for the $$, that’s A-OK with me as long as it works for them. But that’s not what I want my relationships built upon.[/quote]
Should alarm bells go off when a woman catches a whiff of a potential suitor/spouse wanting her for her beauty? (I would say yes.)
It goes both ways.[/quote]
Absolutely. It’s an entirely selfish motivation, just as marrying for money is a selfish motivation. Both are very traditional, though.[/quote]
Exactly…selfish and superficial. I was just trying to point out that there is a female side to this, too. And very traditional, yes.
October 13, 2014 at 1:19 AM #778642scaredyclassic
Participant[quote=CA renter][quote=scaredyclassic]
there is a number that is calculable and is calculated every day by our supercomputer brains which tells us the likelihood of successful reproduction with this other. some brains are better able to calculate contingencies and advanced future planning and needs. no other number ultimately matters. we are genetic calculators and we thereofre often act against what seems to be our best interests. nothing about us or our design cares about us.
this ultimately is who we are. it’s not about happiness or compatibiility. it’s about our selfish, selfish genes…
this site is primitive, really kind of dubmb, but may st least show that reaity exists independently of our fantasies.
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/dating-market-value-test-for-men/%5B/quote%5D
A few tweaks, and your site is ready! :)[/quote]
my appraisal is far more indepth and onsite, and real. more like getting your fortune told by someone who is scary good. my number will be your real number.
October 13, 2014 at 8:10 AM #778644NotCranky
Participant[quote=scaredyclassic][quote=flyer]Not all beautiful women are vacuous gold diggers, just as not all handsome men are shallow trophy wife collectors, and I have to agree, to each his/her own when choosing a partner for all of the right
reasons–love, happiness, achieving life goals, etc., etc.The wedding, the ring, the fabulous honeymoon, the great house, and all of the “stuff” are nice, and we’ve all been there, but, IMO, what makes the relationship lasting and beautiful is the deeper bond that’s been forged by things that money can’t buy.[/quote]
We choose in part on an irrational level. The numbers lie deep in our DNA: a certain curve …A certain expression. A man’s knees. A tone. A certain beard and we are off to the races.
We are all songbirds in the spring…[/quote]
Symmetry is a good indicator of good genes…if you ever look at people considered physically beautiful you will notice that they have excellent symmetry. My wife said my hands appealed to her…I have five fingers on each one.
October 13, 2014 at 8:11 AM #778645ParticipantI am off kilter
October 13, 2014 at 8:21 AM #778646Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]I am off kilter[/quote]
That means your wife is short or that she won’t think you are funny even though you are. or both.October 13, 2014 at 10:55 AM #778648FlyerInHi
Guest[quote=Blogstar]
Symmetry is a good indicator of good genes…if you ever look at people considered physically beautiful you will notice that they have excellent symmetry. My wife said my hands appealed to her…I have five fingers on each one.[/quote]
I’m a people watcher in the French and Italian traditions.
Hands are not just about symmetry. Hands with long slender fingers like those of piano player are more beautiful. People with imperfect hands will apply artifices like fanciful nails. I prefer intrinsic natural beauty.
Money and the artifices we use, even the way we relate to others, are to compensate for or enhance our genetic traits.
I do agree that it’s all about our selfish, selfish genes.
October 13, 2014 at 11:51 AM #778649Participant[quote=FlyerInHi][quote=Blogstar]
Symmetry is a good indicator of good genes…if you ever look at people considered physically beautiful you will notice that they have excellent symmetry. My wife said my hands appealed to her…I have five fingers on each one.[/quote]
I do agree that it’s all about our selfish, selfish genes.[/quote]
True, except for when it is not. In reproductive years more so but not even then…lots of men raise other men’s kids with amazing devotion. I have a very successful friend from a “good” familly. At 32 he married a woman of modest means, with serious life shortening health issues, a terrible past pretty much from childhood up to the point he met her. She had two boys from different fathers, a third boy from a yet another father had already committed suicide at a very young age. They were married faithfully until her illnesses finally took her down. There was no perverted ulterior motive , like getting at the boys or something evil like that. He is still close to them and a fully involved grandfather to be.You can say there might be a lot of rescuer enabler stuff or that he is a saint, but you can’t say his selfish genes ruled.
October 13, 2014 at 11:59 AM #778650ParticipantUnnatural, in the most basic sense of the word.
But people are odd. There’s all kinds of permutations.
In general this isn’t how we are wired.
I need more facts. But this isn’t a marker of strong psychological or physical health.
October 13, 2014 at 12:36 PM #778651Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]Unnatural, in the most basic sense of the word.
But people are odd. There’s all kinds of permutations.
In general this isn’t how we are wired.
I need more facts. But this isn’t a marker of strong psychological or physical health.[/quote]Many successful people today are stopping at only one child, that is risky from a genetic point of view. Even people who could afford many more children. Are they physically weak and psychologically unhealthy? Permutations?
October 13, 2014 at 1:53 PM #778652ParticipantMy wife took a big gamble with me. Weak, bone skinny, no confidence, depressed.
She probably focused on the high intelligence high focus and patience, loyalty and deep humanity she saw.
Assuming they’re my genetic kids.
October 13, 2014 at 1:54 PM #778653Participant[quote=Blogstar][quote=scaredyclassic]Unnatural, in the most basic sense of the word.
But people are odd. There’s all kinds of permutations.
In general this isn’t how we are wired.
I need more facts. But this isn’t a marker of strong psychological or physical health.[/quote]Many successful people today are stopping at only one child, that is risky from a genetic point of view. Even people who could afford many more children. Are they physically weak and psychologically unhealthy? Permutations?[/quote]
They’re running with high survival rates currently in place.
October 13, 2014 at 3:54 PM #778654njtosd
Participant[quote=Blogstar][quote=FlyerInHi][quote=Blogstar]
Symmetry is a good indicator of good genes…if you ever look at people considered physically beautiful you will notice that they have excellent symmetry. My wife said my hands appealed to her…I have five fingers on each one.[/quote]
I do agree that it’s all about our selfish, selfish genes.[/quote]
True, except for when it is not. In reproductive years more so but not even then…lots of men raise other men’s kids with amazing devotion. I have a very successful friend from a “good” familly. At 32 he married a woman of modest means, with serious life shortening health issues, a terrible past pretty much from childhood up to the point he met her. She had two boys from different fathers, a third boy from a yet another father had already committed suicide at a very young age. They were married faithfully until her illnesses finally took her down. There was no perverted ulterior motive , like getting at the boys or something evil like that. He is still close to them and a fully involved grandfather to be.You can say there might be a lot of rescuer enabler stuff or that he is a saint, but you can’t say his selfish genes ruled.[/quote]
His behavior is probably analogous to this cat:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/29/cat-breastfeeds-nurse-duckings-kittens-video_n_3349676.html
Our genes tell us to be “altruistic” under certain circumstances. Most of the time those circumstances are indicative of a genetic relationship, but sometimes not. In the case of the cat, she apparently has instincts to protect small fuzzy things that come into her life when oxytocin (or some other hormone) is off the charts. Under almost all circumstances, those fuzzy things are going to be her children (especially since she’s a cat – other animals will normally keep their babies away from her at all costs – so the likelihood of her being confused is low.)
It’s the same reason that people tend to be nicer to others who look like them – similarity in appearance suggests genetic relationship. It’s still the genes – but they are not perfect.October 13, 2014 at 4:25 PM #778655ParticipantIn general couples try to have a baby of their own first and if that doesn’t work they adopt.
We ignore or obey our biology at our peril.
We are screwed either way!
October 13, 2014 at 9:39 PM #778680
svelteParticipant[quote=CA renter][quote=svelte][quote=flyer]Not all beautiful women are vacuous gold diggers, just as not all handsome men are shallow trophy wife collectors, and I have to agree, to each his/her own when choosing a partner for all of the right
reasons–love, happiness, achieving life goals, etc., etc.The wedding, the ring, the fabulous honeymoon, the great house, and all of the “stuff” are nice, and we’ve all been there, but, IMO, what makes the relationship lasting and beautiful is the deeper bond that’s been forged by things that money can’t buy.[/quote]
Agree with every word.
That’s why alarm bells would go off if I even caught a whiff of a potential spouse that was marrying me for the money. To those who are together for the $$, that’s A-OK with me as long as it works for them. But that’s not what I want my relationships built upon.[/quote]
Should alarm bells go off when a woman catches a whiff of a potential suitor/spouse wanting her for her beauty? (I would say yes.)
It goes both ways.[/quote]
Hmmm – that’s a sexist thought!
By using the pronoun “she” and the phrase “it goes both ways”, you’re implying that my response was for women marrying men for money and not men marrying women for money. It was not – my sentences were gender neutral on purpose.
If your sentence was rephrased “should alarm bells go off when someone catches a whiff of a potential spouse wanting them for their beauty? (I would say yes)”, then I would agree that one should run if a suitor was after them only for their beauty. Keyword “only”.
The beauty thing is a slippery slope. You have to be physically attracted to your spouse for it to work – so yeah I partly married for beauty. But beauty alone would not have been enough for me to marry her. Not even close.
She had a nice dowry too.
(j/k)
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