OT: holy crap…. Schwarzenegger and Shriver splitting up?

[briansd1]

Very rich people have more means. To them, splitting up does not really change their lifestyles.

Ordinary folks are afraid of separation/divorce because they will lose the house, etc…

I have a friend who “hates” his wife. He works out of town and had a mistress 1/2 his age but he was too cheap to “help her out” so the girlfriend left him.

Although he wants to, my friend will not leave his wife because he’s afraid of the consequences of asset separation.

I think that it’s better to split up than remain together and be miserable. But some marriages are more bearable/harmonious/convenient than others. There’s nothing wrong with being in a loveless marriage of convenience and security. People have been doing that for ages.

*

Studies have shown that rich folks are in a class apart. They actually tend to stay married for convenience, in general. They have the means to keep several households and have lovers on the side, if they wish.

Middle class folks are more likely to stay married, and locked in the marriage without outside lovers, because of financial security issues. When you live the suburbs and raise a family, there’s not much time and opportunity to “escape”.

Poor folks tend to be loose, no matter if they are conservatives in the Red States, or the urban poor of the Blue States.

[UCGal]

[quote=briansd1]
Ordinary folks are afraid of separation/divorce because they will lose the house, etc…
[/quote]

I would agree with this – and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

My parents would have divorced if it hadn’t been for asset splitting. There were several points where they were virtually separated while living in the same house (separate rooms, etc.)

That said – they stayed together because of the finances… YET found a way to reconnect emotionally as well. I can honestly say that they loved each other and were happily married in their golden years. Some of the stress might have been just been career related… retirement upped their happiness, overall, significantly.

I’ve seen people go through divorce under the assumption that their unhappiness was because of the relationship. Only to find themselves still unhappy (and broke) when the divorce was over.

My take away from this is – that even if you’re miserable now – you *can* work things out with a spouse, if you try, and be happy in the future.

But – if one partner is committed to getting out of a marriage, it’s hard for the other partner to hold a marriage intact. Both parties have to be willing to work towards happiness.

[UCGal]

[quote=briansd1]
Ordinary folks are afraid of separation/divorce because they will lose the house, etc…
[/quote]

I would agree with this – and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

My parents would have divorced if it hadn’t been for asset splitting. There were several points where they were virtually separated while living in the same house (separate rooms, etc.)

That said – they stayed together because of the finances… YET found a way to reconnect emotionally as well. I can honestly say that they loved each other and were happily married in their golden years. Some of the stress might have been just been career related… retirement upped their happiness, overall, significantly.

I’ve seen people go through divorce under the assumption that their unhappiness was because of the relationship. Only to find themselves still unhappy (and broke) when the divorce was over.

My take away from this is – that even if you’re miserable now – you *can* work things out with a spouse, if you try, and be happy in the future.

But – if one partner is committed to getting out of a marriage, it’s hard for the other partner to hold a marriage intact. Both parties have to be willing to work towards happiness.

[UCGal]

[quote=briansd1]
Ordinary folks are afraid of separation/divorce because they will lose the house, etc…
[/quote]

I would agree with this – and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

My parents would have divorced if it hadn’t been for asset splitting. There were several points where they were virtually separated while living in the same house (separate rooms, etc.)

That said – they stayed together because of the finances… YET found a way to reconnect emotionally as well. I can honestly say that they loved each other and were happily married in their golden years. Some of the stress might have been just been career related… retirement upped their happiness, overall, significantly.

I’ve seen people go through divorce under the assumption that their unhappiness was because of the relationship. Only to find themselves still unhappy (and broke) when the divorce was over.

My take away from this is – that even if you’re miserable now – you *can* work things out with a spouse, if you try, and be happy in the future.

But – if one partner is committed to getting out of a marriage, it’s hard for the other partner to hold a marriage intact. Both parties have to be willing to work towards happiness.

[UCGal]

[quote=briansd1]
Ordinary folks are afraid of separation/divorce because they will lose the house, etc…
[/quote]

I would agree with this – and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

My parents would have divorced if it hadn’t been for asset splitting. There were several points where they were virtually separated while living in the same house (separate rooms, etc.)

That said – they stayed together because of the finances… YET found a way to reconnect emotionally as well. I can honestly say that they loved each other and were happily married in their golden years. Some of the stress might have been just been career related… retirement upped their happiness, overall, significantly.

I’ve seen people go through divorce under the assumption that their unhappiness was because of the relationship. Only to find themselves still unhappy (and broke) when the divorce was over.

My take away from this is – that even if you’re miserable now – you *can* work things out with a spouse, if you try, and be happy in the future.

But – if one partner is committed to getting out of a marriage, it’s hard for the other partner to hold a marriage intact. Both parties have to be willing to work towards happiness.

[UCGal]

[quote=briansd1]
Ordinary folks are afraid of separation/divorce because they will lose the house, etc…
[/quote]

I would agree with this – and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

My parents would have divorced if it hadn’t been for asset splitting. There were several points where they were virtually separated while living in the same house (separate rooms, etc.)

That said – they stayed together because of the finances… YET found a way to reconnect emotionally as well. I can honestly say that they loved each other and were happily married in their golden years. Some of the stress might have been just been career related… retirement upped their happiness, overall, significantly.

I’ve seen people go through divorce under the assumption that their unhappiness was because of the relationship. Only to find themselves still unhappy (and broke) when the divorce was over.

My take away from this is – that even if you’re miserable now – you *can* work things out with a spouse, if you try, and be happy in the future.

But – if one partner is committed to getting out of a marriage, it’s hard for the other partner to hold a marriage intact. Both parties have to be willing to work towards happiness.

[davelj]

[quote=briansd1]

Although he wants to, my friend will not leave his wife because he’s afraid of the consequences of asset separation.
[/quote]

Yes, lots of folks in this situation. (Then add in kids and make the situation more combustible.) Many of them live “don’t ask, don’t tell” lives – that is, together they have had zero sex life for many years but they don’t talk about it and pretend that it isn’t an issue… while one or both of them has something going on very discreetly on the side. It’s just not discussed. I don’t think in most cases either spouse really cares what the other one is doing – they just don’t want to know about it. They get along just fine otherwise, so why rock the boat?

[davelj]

[quote=briansd1]

Although he wants to, my friend will not leave his wife because he’s afraid of the consequences of asset separation.
[/quote]

Yes, lots of folks in this situation. (Then add in kids and make the situation more combustible.) Many of them live “don’t ask, don’t tell” lives – that is, together they have had zero sex life for many years but they don’t talk about it and pretend that it isn’t an issue… while one or both of them has something going on very discreetly on the side. It’s just not discussed. I don’t think in most cases either spouse really cares what the other one is doing – they just don’t want to know about it. They get along just fine otherwise, so why rock the boat?

[davelj]

[quote=briansd1]

Although he wants to, my friend will not leave his wife because he’s afraid of the consequences of asset separation.
[/quote]

Yes, lots of folks in this situation. (Then add in kids and make the situation more combustible.) Many of them live “don’t ask, don’t tell” lives – that is, together they have had zero sex life for many years but they don’t talk about it and pretend that it isn’t an issue… while one or both of them has something going on very discreetly on the side. It’s just not discussed. I don’t think in most cases either spouse really cares what the other one is doing – they just don’t want to know about it. They get along just fine otherwise, so why rock the boat?

[davelj]

[quote=briansd1]

Although he wants to, my friend will not leave his wife because he’s afraid of the consequences of asset separation.
[/quote]

Yes, lots of folks in this situation. (Then add in kids and make the situation more combustible.) Many of them live “don’t ask, don’t tell” lives – that is, together they have had zero sex life for many years but they don’t talk about it and pretend that it isn’t an issue… while one or both of them has something going on very discreetly on the side. It’s just not discussed. I don’t think in most cases either spouse really cares what the other one is doing – they just don’t want to know about it. They get along just fine otherwise, so why rock the boat?

[davelj]

[quote=briansd1]

Although he wants to, my friend will not leave his wife because he’s afraid of the consequences of asset separation.
[/quote]

Yes, lots of folks in this situation. (Then add in kids and make the situation more combustible.) Many of them live “don’t ask, don’t tell” lives – that is, together they have had zero sex life for many years but they don’t talk about it and pretend that it isn’t an issue… while one or both of them has something going on very discreetly on the side. It’s just not discussed. I don’t think in most cases either spouse really cares what the other one is doing – they just don’t want to know about it. They get along just fine otherwise, so why rock the boat?

[scaredyclassic]

People tend to blame each other for their problems.

Do the wealthy whine about similar things as the middle class?

I saw eat pray love recently. Man I hated that woman. Hated her.

[scaredyclassic]

People tend to blame each other for their problems.

Do the wealthy whine about similar things as the middle class?

I saw eat pray love recently. Man I hated that woman. Hated her.

[scaredyclassic]

People tend to blame each other for their problems.

Do the wealthy whine about similar things as the middle class?

I saw eat pray love recently. Man I hated that woman. Hated her.

[scaredyclassic]

People tend to blame each other for their problems.

Do the wealthy whine about similar things as the middle class?

I saw eat pray love recently. Man I hated that woman. Hated her.

[Author]

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