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CBad.
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January 30, 2009 at 1:49 PM #339438January 30, 2009 at 5:11 PM #338979
Anonymous
Guest[quote=Enorah]CBad, sounds to me like he needs some healing
You can’t force someone into growing up if they have unhealed trauma getting in the way.
[/quote]
“I know my rules suck. I am trying to make it so that this person gets focused and gets out into the world like the adult he should have been 18 years ago.”
I’m confused here. Is this an 18 year old kid or a 36 year old grown man? Healing for an 18 year, yes, i’d help guide him. Healing for 36 year old screw up who pissed away every chance anyone ever gave him, no way. If he is over the age of 30, I hope your husband gives him one week or less. I would be livid if my wife brought an extended family member in my home for “Healing”. Why don’t we all sit around, hold hands, and pray God will help him? C’mon!
This guy sounds like a walking excuse with no motivation for life. If he needs motivation, drive him down to Santa Monica. There are plenty of unmotivated people/reasons for him to become motivated and it will only take half a day. At least your children will have an example of why you should stay in school and not be lazy if you chose to keep this family member around.
Lay the rules and boundries down for this guy. I’m 100% sure he will follow them, but soon enough he will find somewhere else the rules don’t exist, i.e. new girlfriend, a friend w/similar attributes, etc, then he’ll be back to his old ways.
Am I way off base here, if so, please heal me…
January 30, 2009 at 5:11 PM #339310Guest[quote=Enorah]CBad, sounds to me like he needs some healing
You can’t force someone into growing up if they have unhealed trauma getting in the way.
[/quote]
“I know my rules suck. I am trying to make it so that this person gets focused and gets out into the world like the adult he should have been 18 years ago.”
I’m confused here. Is this an 18 year old kid or a 36 year old grown man? Healing for an 18 year, yes, i’d help guide him. Healing for 36 year old screw up who pissed away every chance anyone ever gave him, no way. If he is over the age of 30, I hope your husband gives him one week or less. I would be livid if my wife brought an extended family member in my home for “Healing”. Why don’t we all sit around, hold hands, and pray God will help him? C’mon!
This guy sounds like a walking excuse with no motivation for life. If he needs motivation, drive him down to Santa Monica. There are plenty of unmotivated people/reasons for him to become motivated and it will only take half a day. At least your children will have an example of why you should stay in school and not be lazy if you chose to keep this family member around.
Lay the rules and boundries down for this guy. I’m 100% sure he will follow them, but soon enough he will find somewhere else the rules don’t exist, i.e. new girlfriend, a friend w/similar attributes, etc, then he’ll be back to his old ways.
Am I way off base here, if so, please heal me…
January 30, 2009 at 5:11 PM #339404Guest[quote=Enorah]CBad, sounds to me like he needs some healing
You can’t force someone into growing up if they have unhealed trauma getting in the way.
[/quote]
“I know my rules suck. I am trying to make it so that this person gets focused and gets out into the world like the adult he should have been 18 years ago.”
I’m confused here. Is this an 18 year old kid or a 36 year old grown man? Healing for an 18 year, yes, i’d help guide him. Healing for 36 year old screw up who pissed away every chance anyone ever gave him, no way. If he is over the age of 30, I hope your husband gives him one week or less. I would be livid if my wife brought an extended family member in my home for “Healing”. Why don’t we all sit around, hold hands, and pray God will help him? C’mon!
This guy sounds like a walking excuse with no motivation for life. If he needs motivation, drive him down to Santa Monica. There are plenty of unmotivated people/reasons for him to become motivated and it will only take half a day. At least your children will have an example of why you should stay in school and not be lazy if you chose to keep this family member around.
Lay the rules and boundries down for this guy. I’m 100% sure he will follow them, but soon enough he will find somewhere else the rules don’t exist, i.e. new girlfriend, a friend w/similar attributes, etc, then he’ll be back to his old ways.
Am I way off base here, if so, please heal me…
January 30, 2009 at 5:11 PM #339431Guest[quote=Enorah]CBad, sounds to me like he needs some healing
You can’t force someone into growing up if they have unhealed trauma getting in the way.
[/quote]
“I know my rules suck. I am trying to make it so that this person gets focused and gets out into the world like the adult he should have been 18 years ago.”
I’m confused here. Is this an 18 year old kid or a 36 year old grown man? Healing for an 18 year, yes, i’d help guide him. Healing for 36 year old screw up who pissed away every chance anyone ever gave him, no way. If he is over the age of 30, I hope your husband gives him one week or less. I would be livid if my wife brought an extended family member in my home for “Healing”. Why don’t we all sit around, hold hands, and pray God will help him? C’mon!
This guy sounds like a walking excuse with no motivation for life. If he needs motivation, drive him down to Santa Monica. There are plenty of unmotivated people/reasons for him to become motivated and it will only take half a day. At least your children will have an example of why you should stay in school and not be lazy if you chose to keep this family member around.
Lay the rules and boundries down for this guy. I’m 100% sure he will follow them, but soon enough he will find somewhere else the rules don’t exist, i.e. new girlfriend, a friend w/similar attributes, etc, then he’ll be back to his old ways.
Am I way off base here, if so, please heal me…
January 30, 2009 at 5:11 PM #339525Guest[quote=Enorah]CBad, sounds to me like he needs some healing
You can’t force someone into growing up if they have unhealed trauma getting in the way.
[/quote]
“I know my rules suck. I am trying to make it so that this person gets focused and gets out into the world like the adult he should have been 18 years ago.”
I’m confused here. Is this an 18 year old kid or a 36 year old grown man? Healing for an 18 year, yes, i’d help guide him. Healing for 36 year old screw up who pissed away every chance anyone ever gave him, no way. If he is over the age of 30, I hope your husband gives him one week or less. I would be livid if my wife brought an extended family member in my home for “Healing”. Why don’t we all sit around, hold hands, and pray God will help him? C’mon!
This guy sounds like a walking excuse with no motivation for life. If he needs motivation, drive him down to Santa Monica. There are plenty of unmotivated people/reasons for him to become motivated and it will only take half a day. At least your children will have an example of why you should stay in school and not be lazy if you chose to keep this family member around.
Lay the rules and boundries down for this guy. I’m 100% sure he will follow them, but soon enough he will find somewhere else the rules don’t exist, i.e. new girlfriend, a friend w/similar attributes, etc, then he’ll be back to his old ways.
Am I way off base here, if so, please heal me…
January 30, 2009 at 5:34 PM #338989sdduuuude
ParticipantGood luck w/ it CBAD. Change in people is hard to come by but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I think the only thing that really changes people is going through some kind of personal trauma. Lots of addicts say one has to hit bottom before one can recover.
You never know – maybe getting thrown out of your house will be the trauma he needs, or maybe it will send him further down a painful path that he needs to go in order to realize how bad off he is.
January 30, 2009 at 5:34 PM #339320ParticipantGood luck w/ it CBAD. Change in people is hard to come by but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I think the only thing that really changes people is going through some kind of personal trauma. Lots of addicts say one has to hit bottom before one can recover.
You never know – maybe getting thrown out of your house will be the trauma he needs, or maybe it will send him further down a painful path that he needs to go in order to realize how bad off he is.
January 30, 2009 at 5:34 PM #339414ParticipantGood luck w/ it CBAD. Change in people is hard to come by but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I think the only thing that really changes people is going through some kind of personal trauma. Lots of addicts say one has to hit bottom before one can recover.
You never know – maybe getting thrown out of your house will be the trauma he needs, or maybe it will send him further down a painful path that he needs to go in order to realize how bad off he is.
January 30, 2009 at 5:34 PM #339441ParticipantGood luck w/ it CBAD. Change in people is hard to come by but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I think the only thing that really changes people is going through some kind of personal trauma. Lots of addicts say one has to hit bottom before one can recover.
You never know – maybe getting thrown out of your house will be the trauma he needs, or maybe it will send him further down a painful path that he needs to go in order to realize how bad off he is.
January 30, 2009 at 5:34 PM #339535ParticipantGood luck w/ it CBAD. Change in people is hard to come by but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I think the only thing that really changes people is going through some kind of personal trauma. Lots of addicts say one has to hit bottom before one can recover.
You never know – maybe getting thrown out of your house will be the trauma he needs, or maybe it will send him further down a painful path that he needs to go in order to realize how bad off he is.
January 30, 2009 at 6:04 PM #339009pencilneck
ParticipantI like the idea of charging rent as well, but just a word of warning:
Charging rent will give him a whole lot of rights as a renter. Such as, you may have to give him notice to kick him, and once he is gone be responsible for his possessions etc. Look up some of the legal pitfalls of renting before going this route.
If it were me, I might have him stay as a “friend” for at least a month before charging anything. Friends have no legal rights.
If it works out, I am all for eventually charging him rent.
January 30, 2009 at 6:04 PM #339340ParticipantI like the idea of charging rent as well, but just a word of warning:
Charging rent will give him a whole lot of rights as a renter. Such as, you may have to give him notice to kick him, and once he is gone be responsible for his possessions etc. Look up some of the legal pitfalls of renting before going this route.
If it were me, I might have him stay as a “friend” for at least a month before charging anything. Friends have no legal rights.
If it works out, I am all for eventually charging him rent.
January 30, 2009 at 6:04 PM #339435ParticipantI like the idea of charging rent as well, but just a word of warning:
Charging rent will give him a whole lot of rights as a renter. Such as, you may have to give him notice to kick him, and once he is gone be responsible for his possessions etc. Look up some of the legal pitfalls of renting before going this route.
If it were me, I might have him stay as a “friend” for at least a month before charging anything. Friends have no legal rights.
If it works out, I am all for eventually charging him rent.
January 30, 2009 at 6:04 PM #339461ParticipantI like the idea of charging rent as well, but just a word of warning:
Charging rent will give him a whole lot of rights as a renter. Such as, you may have to give him notice to kick him, and once he is gone be responsible for his possessions etc. Look up some of the legal pitfalls of renting before going this route.
If it were me, I might have him stay as a “friend” for at least a month before charging anything. Friends have no legal rights.
If it works out, I am all for eventually charging him rent.
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