OT – Feelings of Melancholy, Life Plans Going Forward

[cabal]

I have not felt “right” for quite a long time. Never thought about fixing it because I have always attribute it to normal stress from the daily grind. Over the past year, I have become increasingly anxious, not stressed but easily agitated, yet lack the energy and motivation to engage in the simplest of tasks. I thought I needed to exercise more, change diets, and get more sleep. Yesterday I was sitting alone in my backyard, staring at the pool as dreamy thoughts meandered through my mind, all loosely related to my life experiences. Slowly I was overwhelmed with emotions and began tearing up uncontrollably like a little schoolgirl. It’s been a long time. I felt a sense of peaceful euphoria afterwards. Is the midlife crisis really happening, or do I simply need to be bitch slapped back to reality? I don’t regret the sacrifices for family and career over the past 25 years. However, the thought of continuing with a seemingly mundane lifestyle forever is not acceptable. As I began contemplating life plans for the next 10 years, I felt utterly frustrated, drawing an almost complete blank. For the first time in a long time, I realized I am truly directionless.

Researching midlife crisis produced the typical symptons listed below. I can certainly relate to a few of them.

1. No longer ‘knowing’ the person staring back at you in the mirror.
2. Worrying about where your life is going.
3. Feeling frustrated with just about everything.
4. Experiencing feelings of regret.
5. Focusing on what you are losing.
6. Feeling almost ‘invisible’.
7. Thinking that time is running out.
8. Questioning the meaning of life.
9. Feeling trapped.
10. Wanting to make some changes but not know where to begin.

Some random thoughts for reference in no particular order…

Children – Love and support them unconditionally. We have a good relationship, but I would like to be somehow closer. As they get older, they tell me less about their problems and deepest thoughts. If I pry, they seem to withdraw. Not sure the best way to crack this one.

Religion – Catholic. I have always wanted to experience true spirituality, blind faith, whatever you want to call it. Never really felt it, perhaps a consequence of too much logic based education reprogramming this malleable brain. I enjoy a good sermon and would like to find and attend a true non-denomination church.

Career & Finance – So tired of the rat race. No drive or interest in further climbing the corporate ladder. Current income, pension, etc are more than adequate. Private investments, stocks, options, RE, owning & running businesses have no more appeal. Been there done that.

Travel – No real interest. Been all over the contiguous US, Hawaii, Europe, Asia, etc. These days traveling just seems like a royal pain in the ass. However, the thought of throwing some cloth in a backpack and hitchhiking into the unknown does have appeal.

Fellowship – I have many acquaintances and some casual friends, but probably few really close friendships similar to those formed during childhood and school years. Most have drifted away due to life circumstances. Not sure if it will be fulfilling to cultivate this type of friendship at my age.

Petty bucket list – May buy that new Camaro, try skydiving, start playing guitar again, play more golf, philanthropy activities, mountain climbing. Pretty pathetic list if you ask me.

Anyways, I am certain a few in the Pigg affinity group have experienced a similar meltdown. Any advice and all comments would be appreciated.

[FormerOwner]

I felt this way for a few years – up until about a year ago when got a new job and moved from the suburbs San Diego. The changes opened up new avenues for me and I no longer feel trapped. I can identify a LOT with what you said about putting on a backpack and heading out to parts unkown. I’ve found that I have the most fun when I have a lot of free time that is unstructured. It is the structure of daily life that I find boring and uninspiring. I’ve also found that by living in the city, where you walk a lot more places, vs the suburbs you have a lot more normal type of existence. You just run into things as you walk and make plans as you go. The scheduled existence of suburban families, I think, is not healty. We are social animals and we are meant to live in villages and be together. I am rambling here but these are my thoughts. The other thing is, I’ve found that the simpler my life is and the less stuff I own the happier I am. I try and fill my time with experiences, not things.

[FormerOwner]

I felt this way for a few years – up until about a year ago when got a new job and moved from the suburbs San Diego. The changes opened up new avenues for me and I no longer feel trapped. I can identify a LOT with what you said about putting on a backpack and heading out to parts unkown. I’ve found that I have the most fun when I have a lot of free time that is unstructured. It is the structure of daily life that I find boring and uninspiring. I’ve also found that by living in the city, where you walk a lot more places, vs the suburbs you have a lot more normal type of existence. You just run into things as you walk and make plans as you go. The scheduled existence of suburban families, I think, is not healty. We are social animals and we are meant to live in villages and be together. I am rambling here but these are my thoughts. The other thing is, I’ve found that the simpler my life is and the less stuff I own the happier I am. I try and fill my time with experiences, not things.

[FormerOwner]

I felt this way for a few years – up until about a year ago when got a new job and moved from the suburbs San Diego. The changes opened up new avenues for me and I no longer feel trapped. I can identify a LOT with what you said about putting on a backpack and heading out to parts unkown. I’ve found that I have the most fun when I have a lot of free time that is unstructured. It is the structure of daily life that I find boring and uninspiring. I’ve also found that by living in the city, where you walk a lot more places, vs the suburbs you have a lot more normal type of existence. You just run into things as you walk and make plans as you go. The scheduled existence of suburban families, I think, is not healty. We are social animals and we are meant to live in villages and be together. I am rambling here but these are my thoughts. The other thing is, I’ve found that the simpler my life is and the less stuff I own the happier I am. I try and fill my time with experiences, not things.

[FormerOwner]

I felt this way for a few years – up until about a year ago when got a new job and moved from the suburbs San Diego. The changes opened up new avenues for me and I no longer feel trapped. I can identify a LOT with what you said about putting on a backpack and heading out to parts unkown. I’ve found that I have the most fun when I have a lot of free time that is unstructured. It is the structure of daily life that I find boring and uninspiring. I’ve also found that by living in the city, where you walk a lot more places, vs the suburbs you have a lot more normal type of existence. You just run into things as you walk and make plans as you go. The scheduled existence of suburban families, I think, is not healty. We are social animals and we are meant to live in villages and be together. I am rambling here but these are my thoughts. The other thing is, I’ve found that the simpler my life is and the less stuff I own the happier I am. I try and fill my time with experiences, not things.

[FormerOwner]

I felt this way for a few years – up until about a year ago when got a new job and moved from the suburbs San Diego. The changes opened up new avenues for me and I no longer feel trapped. I can identify a LOT with what you said about putting on a backpack and heading out to parts unkown. I’ve found that I have the most fun when I have a lot of free time that is unstructured. It is the structure of daily life that I find boring and uninspiring. I’ve also found that by living in the city, where you walk a lot more places, vs the suburbs you have a lot more normal type of existence. You just run into things as you walk and make plans as you go. The scheduled existence of suburban families, I think, is not healty. We are social animals and we are meant to live in villages and be together. I am rambling here but these are my thoughts. The other thing is, I’ve found that the simpler my life is and the less stuff I own the happier I am. I try and fill my time with experiences, not things.

[patientrenter]

I recommend making some simple changes that enable you to do more of what you like. But you may well be suffering from depression, and I think you should visit a professional to check it out. If you broke your leg, you’d have it taken care of before deciding to live with a limp.

[patientrenter]

I recommend making some simple changes that enable you to do more of what you like. But you may well be suffering from depression, and I think you should visit a professional to check it out. If you broke your leg, you’d have it taken care of before deciding to live with a limp.

[patientrenter]

I recommend making some simple changes that enable you to do more of what you like. But you may well be suffering from depression, and I think you should visit a professional to check it out. If you broke your leg, you’d have it taken care of before deciding to live with a limp.

[patientrenter]

I recommend making some simple changes that enable you to do more of what you like. But you may well be suffering from depression, and I think you should visit a professional to check it out. If you broke your leg, you’d have it taken care of before deciding to live with a limp.

[patientrenter]

I recommend making some simple changes that enable you to do more of what you like. But you may well be suffering from depression, and I think you should visit a professional to check it out. If you broke your leg, you’d have it taken care of before deciding to live with a limp.

[nocommonsense]

Wow, thanks for sharing it. I’m only in my mid 30s and sometimes experience similar symptoms as you. But I gotta say your life and your list sound A LOT more exciting than ours! Our life is completely consumed in our small children and my career.

On a certain level I think it’s perfectly normal or even healthy to experience some of the things you mentioned like wondering about the meaning and purpose of one’s life. But what you describe definitely has an element of depression in it. As a fellow Christian, I strongly suggest you seek the Lord Jesus’true peace, which “surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7), through in depth reading of the scriptures and truly seeking the Lord’s face behind a closed closet door. This is as opposed to seeking God through rituals and or religious activities, which by no means are bad things themselves. Another thing I find extremely helpful is to have Christian friends who can strengthen and support you spiritually and otherwise.

I go to New Hope Church (10330 Carmel Mountain Road
San Diego, CA 92129-3215). You’re welcome to try it. It’s a stand-alone and non-denominational. Of the many things we like about it, the biggest thing to me is their focus on seeking God on the personal level and seeking His glory. This is hard to find nowadays with most churches being either legalistic or a lukewarm mean-nothing social club.

[nocommonsense]

Wow, thanks for sharing it. I’m only in my mid 30s and sometimes experience similar symptoms as you. But I gotta say your life and your list sound A LOT more exciting than ours! Our life is completely consumed in our small children and my career.

On a certain level I think it’s perfectly normal or even healthy to experience some of the things you mentioned like wondering about the meaning and purpose of one’s life. But what you describe definitely has an element of depression in it. As a fellow Christian, I strongly suggest you seek the Lord Jesus’true peace, which “surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7), through in depth reading of the scriptures and truly seeking the Lord’s face behind a closed closet door. This is as opposed to seeking God through rituals and or religious activities, which by no means are bad things themselves. Another thing I find extremely helpful is to have Christian friends who can strengthen and support you spiritually and otherwise.

I go to New Hope Church (10330 Carmel Mountain Road
San Diego, CA 92129-3215). You’re welcome to try it. It’s a stand-alone and non-denominational. Of the many things we like about it, the biggest thing to me is their focus on seeking God on the personal level and seeking His glory. This is hard to find nowadays with most churches being either legalistic or a lukewarm mean-nothing social club.

[nocommonsense]

Wow, thanks for sharing it. I’m only in my mid 30s and sometimes experience similar symptoms as you. But I gotta say your life and your list sound A LOT more exciting than ours! Our life is completely consumed in our small children and my career.

On a certain level I think it’s perfectly normal or even healthy to experience some of the things you mentioned like wondering about the meaning and purpose of one’s life. But what you describe definitely has an element of depression in it. As a fellow Christian, I strongly suggest you seek the Lord Jesus’true peace, which “surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7), through in depth reading of the scriptures and truly seeking the Lord’s face behind a closed closet door. This is as opposed to seeking God through rituals and or religious activities, which by no means are bad things themselves. Another thing I find extremely helpful is to have Christian friends who can strengthen and support you spiritually and otherwise.

I go to New Hope Church (10330 Carmel Mountain Road
San Diego, CA 92129-3215). You’re welcome to try it. It’s a stand-alone and non-denominational. Of the many things we like about it, the biggest thing to me is their focus on seeking God on the personal level and seeking His glory. This is hard to find nowadays with most churches being either legalistic or a lukewarm mean-nothing social club.

[nocommonsense]

Wow, thanks for sharing it. I’m only in my mid 30s and sometimes experience similar symptoms as you. But I gotta say your life and your list sound A LOT more exciting than ours! Our life is completely consumed in our small children and my career.

On a certain level I think it’s perfectly normal or even healthy to experience some of the things you mentioned like wondering about the meaning and purpose of one’s life. But what you describe definitely has an element of depression in it. As a fellow Christian, I strongly suggest you seek the Lord Jesus’true peace, which “surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7), through in depth reading of the scriptures and truly seeking the Lord’s face behind a closed closet door. This is as opposed to seeking God through rituals and or religious activities, which by no means are bad things themselves. Another thing I find extremely helpful is to have Christian friends who can strengthen and support you spiritually and otherwise.

I go to New Hope Church (10330 Carmel Mountain Road
San Diego, CA 92129-3215). You’re welcome to try it. It’s a stand-alone and non-denominational. Of the many things we like about it, the biggest thing to me is their focus on seeking God on the personal level and seeking His glory. This is hard to find nowadays with most churches being either legalistic or a lukewarm mean-nothing social club.

[Author]

Posts