I seem to be having trouble letting go of money. i preferred when we were saving up a downpayment for the house, since it seemed all to be going somewhere. Now, I just ahve trouble letting go of money, even though I have enough to spend some on things.
For instance. I really wanted to buy a new and somewhat expensive watch. It costs about 2,000. I shopped around a bunch and found a great deal on the watch, new for 1250. it’s a really nice watch. I was going to buy the damn thing, i really wanted it, but somehow I just couldnt do it. So instead I got one that kind of looks like it for $100. not a counterfeit one, just similar in style.
it’s ok, in fact it’s pretty nice, but it’s not what i wanted. its not amazing. it’s just very good. i’d say about 90% of the way there…
letting go of money feels like the future will not be ok. it feels like it’s going to be a big mistake. I tried to buy an expensive sofa over columbus day. It was on sale online for 3200.00. I really wanted it. I had previously even sent away for the leather sample patch and carried it around for a while. so nice. then, when it was time to buy it, i just….couldn’t..didn’t have it in me. rationalized it, saying, well, I do really like to lie on the floor. the cats. etc. but mainly, it was the 3k.
my ability to spend is deeply constipated.
i feel awful letting go of money.
on the other hand, we are paying college tuition in cash.
Spending on experiences (i.e. college, travel, etc) is more fun than spending on things anyway. Especially if those things replace perfectly good older things.
yeah but. i really wanted that watch. I pictured myself wearing it for years, every day. taking care of it. winding it every morning. admiring it. using it to tell time. im pretty sure I would have gotten 1250 worth of pleasure from it.
my wife is like, just buy the damn thing, and I feel like she just asked me to put my hand on a hot stove burner . i told her to please click the BUY button, but she refused to do it, wanted me to do it. i couldnt
CHROMETOPHOBIA. fear of money.
one thing ive been doing the last year that I never used to do is give small amounts of money away. so i always put a dollar or so in a tip jar, or give money to people asking on the street. I never ever used to do that, but i made a decision to automatically do it without thinking. I actually get a small pleasure from doing it each time. strange.
Deep down, you recognize that the watch today is an really just a fashion affectation. Not spending on something nonessential I wouldn’t be concerned about unless you can’t spend even on trivial enjoyments. If you have problems spending in something like your own healthcare, then that’s a different story.
$1250 is $1250 and while today that may be a trivial drop in your annual spending, if you’re still working it equates to some amount of work.
Now again if the only reason you’re not sitting around in ratted out holey underwear on a dumpster salvaged lawn chair using a 300 baud dial up modem on a 1990s Dell with 8088 processor is your wife furnishes the house and buys your clothes, you may have a problem.
I can understand your concerns, scaredy, and have had this discussion with some friends who want to buy some big ticket items (planes, boats, etc.)
My take on spending is–if a person knows they have what they need to comfortably support themselves and their families for the balance of their
lives–spend away. If not, monitoring (especially optional) expenditures might be the smart thing to do.
