OT: Dating Someone with Children

[aldante]

Marion,
Looks or no looks,
Money or no money,
Kids or no kids,

If the chick is wacked

Run don’t walk.

aldante,

stick a fork in me

[davelj]

Just an observation that’s related to this topic.

I have a friend who’s now 40-ish who lived in San Diego for about a decade. She was married, had a kid and got divorced when she was maybe 32. Two years ago she left San Diego and moved to Savannah, Georgia. She had reasons besides relationship (or lack thereof) issues for moving, but I’ll paraphrase her thoughts on dating in Southern California as a single mom in her late-30s, which she shared with me. For a little context, this woman is fairly attractive, takes care of herself and had invested in some surgical “enhancements.” She turned heads.

Anyhow, paraphrasing: “The problem with dating here [San Diego] is that most of the guys that I want to have a relationship with have too many options. For example, I really like [Name Withheld]. He’s 46 but he can date some hot 28-year old that doesn’t have a kid or a care in the world. So I have to compete with a lot of younger women with no kids AND all of the women who are in a similar situation to myself. My potential dating pool just gets older. [Name Withheld]’s dating pool just gets bigger because he can still date younger women if he wants to. It’s not fair.”

She was generalizing, of course. But there’s more than a grain of truth in her observation. Anyhow, she moved to Savannah, married a cop and I assume they’re both happy campers.

The point is that Southern California is a very difficult dating market, and particularly for women as they pass 40. The competition is fierce.

[davelj]

Just an observation that’s related to this topic.

I have a friend who’s now 40-ish who lived in San Diego for about a decade. She was married, had a kid and got divorced when she was maybe 32. Two years ago she left San Diego and moved to Savannah, Georgia. She had reasons besides relationship (or lack thereof) issues for moving, but I’ll paraphrase her thoughts on dating in Southern California as a single mom in her late-30s, which she shared with me. For a little context, this woman is fairly attractive, takes care of herself and had invested in some surgical “enhancements.” She turned heads.

Anyhow, paraphrasing: “The problem with dating here [San Diego] is that most of the guys that I want to have a relationship with have too many options. For example, I really like [Name Withheld]. He’s 46 but he can date some hot 28-year old that doesn’t have a kid or a care in the world. So I have to compete with a lot of younger women with no kids AND all of the women who are in a similar situation to myself. My potential dating pool just gets older. [Name Withheld]’s dating pool just gets bigger because he can still date younger women if he wants to. It’s not fair.”

She was generalizing, of course. But there’s more than a grain of truth in her observation. Anyhow, she moved to Savannah, married a cop and I assume they’re both happy campers.

The point is that Southern California is a very difficult dating market, and particularly for women as they pass 40. The competition is fierce.

[davelj]

Just an observation that’s related to this topic.

I have a friend who’s now 40-ish who lived in San Diego for about a decade. She was married, had a kid and got divorced when she was maybe 32. Two years ago she left San Diego and moved to Savannah, Georgia. She had reasons besides relationship (or lack thereof) issues for moving, but I’ll paraphrase her thoughts on dating in Southern California as a single mom in her late-30s, which she shared with me. For a little context, this woman is fairly attractive, takes care of herself and had invested in some surgical “enhancements.” She turned heads.

Anyhow, paraphrasing: “The problem with dating here [San Diego] is that most of the guys that I want to have a relationship with have too many options. For example, I really like [Name Withheld]. He’s 46 but he can date some hot 28-year old that doesn’t have a kid or a care in the world. So I have to compete with a lot of younger women with no kids AND all of the women who are in a similar situation to myself. My potential dating pool just gets older. [Name Withheld]’s dating pool just gets bigger because he can still date younger women if he wants to. It’s not fair.”

She was generalizing, of course. But there’s more than a grain of truth in her observation. Anyhow, she moved to Savannah, married a cop and I assume they’re both happy campers.

The point is that Southern California is a very difficult dating market, and particularly for women as they pass 40. The competition is fierce.

[davelj]

Just an observation that’s related to this topic.

I have a friend who’s now 40-ish who lived in San Diego for about a decade. She was married, had a kid and got divorced when she was maybe 32. Two years ago she left San Diego and moved to Savannah, Georgia. She had reasons besides relationship (or lack thereof) issues for moving, but I’ll paraphrase her thoughts on dating in Southern California as a single mom in her late-30s, which she shared with me. For a little context, this woman is fairly attractive, takes care of herself and had invested in some surgical “enhancements.” She turned heads.

Anyhow, paraphrasing: “The problem with dating here [San Diego] is that most of the guys that I want to have a relationship with have too many options. For example, I really like [Name Withheld]. He’s 46 but he can date some hot 28-year old that doesn’t have a kid or a care in the world. So I have to compete with a lot of younger women with no kids AND all of the women who are in a similar situation to myself. My potential dating pool just gets older. [Name Withheld]’s dating pool just gets bigger because he can still date younger women if he wants to. It’s not fair.”

She was generalizing, of course. But there’s more than a grain of truth in her observation. Anyhow, she moved to Savannah, married a cop and I assume they’re both happy campers.

The point is that Southern California is a very difficult dating market, and particularly for women as they pass 40. The competition is fierce.

[davelj]

Just an observation that’s related to this topic.

I have a friend who’s now 40-ish who lived in San Diego for about a decade. She was married, had a kid and got divorced when she was maybe 32. Two years ago she left San Diego and moved to Savannah, Georgia. She had reasons besides relationship (or lack thereof) issues for moving, but I’ll paraphrase her thoughts on dating in Southern California as a single mom in her late-30s, which she shared with me. For a little context, this woman is fairly attractive, takes care of herself and had invested in some surgical “enhancements.” She turned heads.

Anyhow, paraphrasing: “The problem with dating here [San Diego] is that most of the guys that I want to have a relationship with have too many options. For example, I really like [Name Withheld]. He’s 46 but he can date some hot 28-year old that doesn’t have a kid or a care in the world. So I have to compete with a lot of younger women with no kids AND all of the women who are in a similar situation to myself. My potential dating pool just gets older. [Name Withheld]’s dating pool just gets bigger because he can still date younger women if he wants to. It’s not fair.”

She was generalizing, of course. But there’s more than a grain of truth in her observation. Anyhow, she moved to Savannah, married a cop and I assume they’re both happy campers.

The point is that Southern California is a very difficult dating market, and particularly for women as they pass 40. The competition is fierce.

[Anonymous]

There is truth in the above with the caveat that a woman over 30’s success in dating lies in her confidence, level of attractiveness and what she brings to the table substance wise. That is IF her dating pool contains men that are mature, successful and decent. Let me explain what I mean by decent. I’ll give you an example, I dated a man who presented himself to be the type of man that I would consider for a relationship, which is basically one who has substance. However, before too long it was apparent that he was a sleaze. To make the explanation brief, I told him what I was into and in order to gain my approval/date me, he claimed he was into the same kind of things and shared a similar outlook on life. That wasn’t true. His lying earned him an instant “dump”. Another thing about the sleaze factor, I found out he liked dating women with luscious asses, which was part of his attraction to me. I wasn’t impressed.

Ok, I veered from my point a bit, the giggolos, mid-life crisis gents, and men without substance bounce around with the 28-year-olds with surgically enhanced features.

There are men in the 35 and older category which is the category I’m interested in that know what they want and it’s a woman with a little more going for her, in terms of maturity, maybe education, outlook on life. Those are the men I accept dates from.

The competition may be fierce, but I’m not even aware of the competition. And there is no arrogance in that viewpoint. When I date, I approach it in a casual manner. There is no urgency. My belief is if someone is right for you, you will know it and things will fall into place.

[Anonymous]

There is truth in the above with the caveat that a woman over 30’s success in dating lies in her confidence, level of attractiveness and what she brings to the table substance wise. That is IF her dating pool contains men that are mature, successful and decent. Let me explain what I mean by decent. I’ll give you an example, I dated a man who presented himself to be the type of man that I would consider for a relationship, which is basically one who has substance. However, before too long it was apparent that he was a sleaze. To make the explanation brief, I told him what I was into and in order to gain my approval/date me, he claimed he was into the same kind of things and shared a similar outlook on life. That wasn’t true. His lying earned him an instant “dump”. Another thing about the sleaze factor, I found out he liked dating women with luscious asses, which was part of his attraction to me. I wasn’t impressed.

Ok, I veered from my point a bit, the giggolos, mid-life crisis gents, and men without substance bounce around with the 28-year-olds with surgically enhanced features.

There are men in the 35 and older category which is the category I’m interested in that know what they want and it’s a woman with a little more going for her, in terms of maturity, maybe education, outlook on life. Those are the men I accept dates from.

The competition may be fierce, but I’m not even aware of the competition. And there is no arrogance in that viewpoint. When I date, I approach it in a casual manner. There is no urgency. My belief is if someone is right for you, you will know it and things will fall into place.

[Anonymous]

There is truth in the above with the caveat that a woman over 30’s success in dating lies in her confidence, level of attractiveness and what she brings to the table substance wise. That is IF her dating pool contains men that are mature, successful and decent. Let me explain what I mean by decent. I’ll give you an example, I dated a man who presented himself to be the type of man that I would consider for a relationship, which is basically one who has substance. However, before too long it was apparent that he was a sleaze. To make the explanation brief, I told him what I was into and in order to gain my approval/date me, he claimed he was into the same kind of things and shared a similar outlook on life. That wasn’t true. His lying earned him an instant “dump”. Another thing about the sleaze factor, I found out he liked dating women with luscious asses, which was part of his attraction to me. I wasn’t impressed.

Ok, I veered from my point a bit, the giggolos, mid-life crisis gents, and men without substance bounce around with the 28-year-olds with surgically enhanced features.

There are men in the 35 and older category which is the category I’m interested in that know what they want and it’s a woman with a little more going for her, in terms of maturity, maybe education, outlook on life. Those are the men I accept dates from.

The competition may be fierce, but I’m not even aware of the competition. And there is no arrogance in that viewpoint. When I date, I approach it in a casual manner. There is no urgency. My belief is if someone is right for you, you will know it and things will fall into place.

[Anonymous]

There is truth in the above with the caveat that a woman over 30’s success in dating lies in her confidence, level of attractiveness and what she brings to the table substance wise. That is IF her dating pool contains men that are mature, successful and decent. Let me explain what I mean by decent. I’ll give you an example, I dated a man who presented himself to be the type of man that I would consider for a relationship, which is basically one who has substance. However, before too long it was apparent that he was a sleaze. To make the explanation brief, I told him what I was into and in order to gain my approval/date me, he claimed he was into the same kind of things and shared a similar outlook on life. That wasn’t true. His lying earned him an instant “dump”. Another thing about the sleaze factor, I found out he liked dating women with luscious asses, which was part of his attraction to me. I wasn’t impressed.

Ok, I veered from my point a bit, the giggolos, mid-life crisis gents, and men without substance bounce around with the 28-year-olds with surgically enhanced features.

There are men in the 35 and older category which is the category I’m interested in that know what they want and it’s a woman with a little more going for her, in terms of maturity, maybe education, outlook on life. Those are the men I accept dates from.

The competition may be fierce, but I’m not even aware of the competition. And there is no arrogance in that viewpoint. When I date, I approach it in a casual manner. There is no urgency. My belief is if someone is right for you, you will know it and things will fall into place.

[Anonymous]

There is truth in the above with the caveat that a woman over 30’s success in dating lies in her confidence, level of attractiveness and what she brings to the table substance wise. That is IF her dating pool contains men that are mature, successful and decent. Let me explain what I mean by decent. I’ll give you an example, I dated a man who presented himself to be the type of man that I would consider for a relationship, which is basically one who has substance. However, before too long it was apparent that he was a sleaze. To make the explanation brief, I told him what I was into and in order to gain my approval/date me, he claimed he was into the same kind of things and shared a similar outlook on life. That wasn’t true. His lying earned him an instant “dump”. Another thing about the sleaze factor, I found out he liked dating women with luscious asses, which was part of his attraction to me. I wasn’t impressed.

Ok, I veered from my point a bit, the giggolos, mid-life crisis gents, and men without substance bounce around with the 28-year-olds with surgically enhanced features.

There are men in the 35 and older category which is the category I’m interested in that know what they want and it’s a woman with a little more going for her, in terms of maturity, maybe education, outlook on life. Those are the men I accept dates from.

The competition may be fierce, but I’m not even aware of the competition. And there is no arrogance in that viewpoint. When I date, I approach it in a casual manner. There is no urgency. My belief is if someone is right for you, you will know it and things will fall into place.

[Anonymous]

Continuing my post…Sex is easy to be had, by younger men, by older men. That is true for any woman who is attractive. However, the younger guys continually seek me out because as I’ve heard by some, they’re tired of the immaturity and games played by the younger women. Another thing is they want to know if they “can keep up”. I’m 42, but thankfully I look a lot younger due in part to my ethnicity and my genes. I’m thankful for that. That’s another reason why I get approached from that group.

Again, if it’s for sex, than that’s fine. In general, I’m not interested in anything serious from that group. I don’t want to be anyone’s mother (in terms of taking care of anyone) and I think it goes without saying, in order for anything to be remotely serious, the ability to have a meaningful conversation has to be present along with shared goals and values.

Also where you congrugate to meet people is important if you’re looking for a mate. I have girlfriends who are attractive and I know some attractive women who go to bars in hopes of meeting men. However, if a woman goes to a bar, what kind of man is she going to meet? She may meet someone nice with good values, but there are going to be many men there who are just looking for sex.

P.S. While I’m on a reflective roll, the ridiculous comments from some on here are starting to get old. Aldante, plain idiotic. Also, from Nostradamus, who most likely got turned down for a date at the beach, which if his personality is any indication, will probably be a common occurence.

[Anonymous]

Continuing my post…Sex is easy to be had, by younger men, by older men. That is true for any woman who is attractive. However, the younger guys continually seek me out because as I’ve heard by some, they’re tired of the immaturity and games played by the younger women. Another thing is they want to know if they “can keep up”. I’m 42, but thankfully I look a lot younger due in part to my ethnicity and my genes. I’m thankful for that. That’s another reason why I get approached from that group.

Again, if it’s for sex, than that’s fine. In general, I’m not interested in anything serious from that group. I don’t want to be anyone’s mother (in terms of taking care of anyone) and I think it goes without saying, in order for anything to be remotely serious, the ability to have a meaningful conversation has to be present along with shared goals and values.

Also where you congrugate to meet people is important if you’re looking for a mate. I have girlfriends who are attractive and I know some attractive women who go to bars in hopes of meeting men. However, if a woman goes to a bar, what kind of man is she going to meet? She may meet someone nice with good values, but there are going to be many men there who are just looking for sex.

P.S. While I’m on a reflective roll, the ridiculous comments from some on here are starting to get old. Aldante, plain idiotic. Also, from Nostradamus, who most likely got turned down for a date at the beach, which if his personality is any indication, will probably be a common occurence.

[Anonymous]

Continuing my post…Sex is easy to be had, by younger men, by older men. That is true for any woman who is attractive. However, the younger guys continually seek me out because as I’ve heard by some, they’re tired of the immaturity and games played by the younger women. Another thing is they want to know if they “can keep up”. I’m 42, but thankfully I look a lot younger due in part to my ethnicity and my genes. I’m thankful for that. That’s another reason why I get approached from that group.

Again, if it’s for sex, than that’s fine. In general, I’m not interested in anything serious from that group. I don’t want to be anyone’s mother (in terms of taking care of anyone) and I think it goes without saying, in order for anything to be remotely serious, the ability to have a meaningful conversation has to be present along with shared goals and values.

Also where you congrugate to meet people is important if you’re looking for a mate. I have girlfriends who are attractive and I know some attractive women who go to bars in hopes of meeting men. However, if a woman goes to a bar, what kind of man is she going to meet? She may meet someone nice with good values, but there are going to be many men there who are just looking for sex.

P.S. While I’m on a reflective roll, the ridiculous comments from some on here are starting to get old. Aldante, plain idiotic. Also, from Nostradamus, who most likely got turned down for a date at the beach, which if his personality is any indication, will probably be a common occurence.

[Anonymous]

Continuing my post…Sex is easy to be had, by younger men, by older men. That is true for any woman who is attractive. However, the younger guys continually seek me out because as I’ve heard by some, they’re tired of the immaturity and games played by the younger women. Another thing is they want to know if they “can keep up”. I’m 42, but thankfully I look a lot younger due in part to my ethnicity and my genes. I’m thankful for that. That’s another reason why I get approached from that group.

Again, if it’s for sex, than that’s fine. In general, I’m not interested in anything serious from that group. I don’t want to be anyone’s mother (in terms of taking care of anyone) and I think it goes without saying, in order for anything to be remotely serious, the ability to have a meaningful conversation has to be present along with shared goals and values.

Also where you congrugate to meet people is important if you’re looking for a mate. I have girlfriends who are attractive and I know some attractive women who go to bars in hopes of meeting men. However, if a woman goes to a bar, what kind of man is she going to meet? She may meet someone nice with good values, but there are going to be many men there who are just looking for sex.

P.S. While I’m on a reflective roll, the ridiculous comments from some on here are starting to get old. Aldante, plain idiotic. Also, from Nostradamus, who most likely got turned down for a date at the beach, which if his personality is any indication, will probably be a common occurence.

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