- This topic has 960 replies, 31 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 6 months ago by
NotCranky.
-
AuthorPosts
-
March 21, 2011 at 2:00 PM #680297March 21, 2011 at 2:10 PM #679165
sdrealtor
ParticipantSome people just have addictive personalities and go all in on anything they do. I have a relative like that who while the smartest and most successful in my family spent age 15 to 33 heavily addicted to alcohol and narcotics. Hopefully your friend will realize what is going on and seek good help. I was just speaking to my relative yesterday and he was so excited that he celebrated his 18th birthday last week. He has not had a drink or drug in over 18 years now and for the first time in his adult life has spent more time clean and sober than not. Of course he has new addictions like writing, working, exercise, reading but those are healthy and more productive. He still meets with the same group of addicts he has for the last 18 years every Monday night to talk about their lives and keep each other on track. It never goes away and having support from others in the same boat can make all the difference in the world.
March 21, 2011 at 2:10 PM #679219sdrealtor
ParticipantSome people just have addictive personalities and go all in on anything they do. I have a relative like that who while the smartest and most successful in my family spent age 15 to 33 heavily addicted to alcohol and narcotics. Hopefully your friend will realize what is going on and seek good help. I was just speaking to my relative yesterday and he was so excited that he celebrated his 18th birthday last week. He has not had a drink or drug in over 18 years now and for the first time in his adult life has spent more time clean and sober than not. Of course he has new addictions like writing, working, exercise, reading but those are healthy and more productive. He still meets with the same group of addicts he has for the last 18 years every Monday night to talk about their lives and keep each other on track. It never goes away and having support from others in the same boat can make all the difference in the world.
March 21, 2011 at 2:10 PM #679829sdrealtor
ParticipantSome people just have addictive personalities and go all in on anything they do. I have a relative like that who while the smartest and most successful in my family spent age 15 to 33 heavily addicted to alcohol and narcotics. Hopefully your friend will realize what is going on and seek good help. I was just speaking to my relative yesterday and he was so excited that he celebrated his 18th birthday last week. He has not had a drink or drug in over 18 years now and for the first time in his adult life has spent more time clean and sober than not. Of course he has new addictions like writing, working, exercise, reading but those are healthy and more productive. He still meets with the same group of addicts he has for the last 18 years every Monday night to talk about their lives and keep each other on track. It never goes away and having support from others in the same boat can make all the difference in the world.
March 21, 2011 at 2:10 PM #679966sdrealtor
ParticipantSome people just have addictive personalities and go all in on anything they do. I have a relative like that who while the smartest and most successful in my family spent age 15 to 33 heavily addicted to alcohol and narcotics. Hopefully your friend will realize what is going on and seek good help. I was just speaking to my relative yesterday and he was so excited that he celebrated his 18th birthday last week. He has not had a drink or drug in over 18 years now and for the first time in his adult life has spent more time clean and sober than not. Of course he has new addictions like writing, working, exercise, reading but those are healthy and more productive. He still meets with the same group of addicts he has for the last 18 years every Monday night to talk about their lives and keep each other on track. It never goes away and having support from others in the same boat can make all the difference in the world.
March 21, 2011 at 2:10 PM #680317sdrealtor
ParticipantSome people just have addictive personalities and go all in on anything they do. I have a relative like that who while the smartest and most successful in my family spent age 15 to 33 heavily addicted to alcohol and narcotics. Hopefully your friend will realize what is going on and seek good help. I was just speaking to my relative yesterday and he was so excited that he celebrated his 18th birthday last week. He has not had a drink or drug in over 18 years now and for the first time in his adult life has spent more time clean and sober than not. Of course he has new addictions like writing, working, exercise, reading but those are healthy and more productive. He still meets with the same group of addicts he has for the last 18 years every Monday night to talk about their lives and keep each other on track. It never goes away and having support from others in the same boat can make all the difference in the world.
March 21, 2011 at 2:13 PM #679175bearishgurl
Participantbrian, I too, have had a family member who at one time had a problem. They finally went to residential rehab for five weeks to “dry up.” The trick is to stay “dried up” long after release. That’s the hard part, until the day you die.
Fortunately, I’ve never wanted to drink anything 100 proof, just wine. I don’t even like beer. And my wine is 2-3 parts soda water to one part wine. But if you drink enough wine cooler for enough hours w/o food, you can still get a buzz. I don’t pass out or get hung over. I have never let it control my life. And when I’m on a trip seeing family for up to 3 weeks, I stay in their homes and none of them drink. So I don’t either.
If a person can stop at any time, I don’t feel there’s a problem. But I DO feel there is a fine line to tread if the person has an alcohol-addicted member of their family. I believe a propensity to be addicted to alcohol is hereditary.
March 21, 2011 at 2:13 PM #679228bearishgurl
Participantbrian, I too, have had a family member who at one time had a problem. They finally went to residential rehab for five weeks to “dry up.” The trick is to stay “dried up” long after release. That’s the hard part, until the day you die.
Fortunately, I’ve never wanted to drink anything 100 proof, just wine. I don’t even like beer. And my wine is 2-3 parts soda water to one part wine. But if you drink enough wine cooler for enough hours w/o food, you can still get a buzz. I don’t pass out or get hung over. I have never let it control my life. And when I’m on a trip seeing family for up to 3 weeks, I stay in their homes and none of them drink. So I don’t either.
If a person can stop at any time, I don’t feel there’s a problem. But I DO feel there is a fine line to tread if the person has an alcohol-addicted member of their family. I believe a propensity to be addicted to alcohol is hereditary.
March 21, 2011 at 2:13 PM #679839bearishgurl
Participantbrian, I too, have had a family member who at one time had a problem. They finally went to residential rehab for five weeks to “dry up.” The trick is to stay “dried up” long after release. That’s the hard part, until the day you die.
Fortunately, I’ve never wanted to drink anything 100 proof, just wine. I don’t even like beer. And my wine is 2-3 parts soda water to one part wine. But if you drink enough wine cooler for enough hours w/o food, you can still get a buzz. I don’t pass out or get hung over. I have never let it control my life. And when I’m on a trip seeing family for up to 3 weeks, I stay in their homes and none of them drink. So I don’t either.
If a person can stop at any time, I don’t feel there’s a problem. But I DO feel there is a fine line to tread if the person has an alcohol-addicted member of their family. I believe a propensity to be addicted to alcohol is hereditary.
March 21, 2011 at 2:13 PM #679976bearishgurl
Participantbrian, I too, have had a family member who at one time had a problem. They finally went to residential rehab for five weeks to “dry up.” The trick is to stay “dried up” long after release. That’s the hard part, until the day you die.
Fortunately, I’ve never wanted to drink anything 100 proof, just wine. I don’t even like beer. And my wine is 2-3 parts soda water to one part wine. But if you drink enough wine cooler for enough hours w/o food, you can still get a buzz. I don’t pass out or get hung over. I have never let it control my life. And when I’m on a trip seeing family for up to 3 weeks, I stay in their homes and none of them drink. So I don’t either.
If a person can stop at any time, I don’t feel there’s a problem. But I DO feel there is a fine line to tread if the person has an alcohol-addicted member of their family. I believe a propensity to be addicted to alcohol is hereditary.
March 21, 2011 at 2:13 PM #680327bearishgurl
Participantbrian, I too, have had a family member who at one time had a problem. They finally went to residential rehab for five weeks to “dry up.” The trick is to stay “dried up” long after release. That’s the hard part, until the day you die.
Fortunately, I’ve never wanted to drink anything 100 proof, just wine. I don’t even like beer. And my wine is 2-3 parts soda water to one part wine. But if you drink enough wine cooler for enough hours w/o food, you can still get a buzz. I don’t pass out or get hung over. I have never let it control my life. And when I’m on a trip seeing family for up to 3 weeks, I stay in their homes and none of them drink. So I don’t either.
If a person can stop at any time, I don’t feel there’s a problem. But I DO feel there is a fine line to tread if the person has an alcohol-addicted member of their family. I believe a propensity to be addicted to alcohol is hereditary.
March 21, 2011 at 2:15 PM #679170zk
ParticipantWhat knowledge I have about alcoholism comes from having three siblings who are alcoholics. And from the searching and researching what I could do to help them.
Brian, your lack of sympathy seems pretty cold hearted to me. Your attitude belies a misunderstanding of the situation, in my opinion. I don’t think it’s a matter of will power, but even if it is, where do you think you get your will power from? What if you get it from the same place that tall people get their height from? Which is a combination of genes and nourishment (physical nourishment in the case of height, emotional nourishment in the case of will power). Sure, maybe your friend is weak. But how’d he get that way? How do smart people get smart? Should smart people have no sympathy for stupid people? What about ugly people? People who are naturally socially inept? Maybe this is a topic for another thread, because it’s a big topic. But I think it applies here.
Anyway, your attitude, ironically, might help you help him. In my opinion, the only thing you can do to help him is to tell him that when he decides to stop drinking, that, unless he dies first, you’ll do what you can to help him (and then, of course, do it if he decides to stop). Trying to help him now by covering for him in any way or helping him with his bills or cleaning up for him will only delay his trip to rock bottom and prolong his drinking. (Doesn’t sound like you’d do any of that. And maybe a lot of people wouldn’t do that for a friend. When it’s your sibling or your child or parent, it’s more difficult).
March 21, 2011 at 2:15 PM #679224zk
ParticipantWhat knowledge I have about alcoholism comes from having three siblings who are alcoholics. And from the searching and researching what I could do to help them.
Brian, your lack of sympathy seems pretty cold hearted to me. Your attitude belies a misunderstanding of the situation, in my opinion. I don’t think it’s a matter of will power, but even if it is, where do you think you get your will power from? What if you get it from the same place that tall people get their height from? Which is a combination of genes and nourishment (physical nourishment in the case of height, emotional nourishment in the case of will power). Sure, maybe your friend is weak. But how’d he get that way? How do smart people get smart? Should smart people have no sympathy for stupid people? What about ugly people? People who are naturally socially inept? Maybe this is a topic for another thread, because it’s a big topic. But I think it applies here.
Anyway, your attitude, ironically, might help you help him. In my opinion, the only thing you can do to help him is to tell him that when he decides to stop drinking, that, unless he dies first, you’ll do what you can to help him (and then, of course, do it if he decides to stop). Trying to help him now by covering for him in any way or helping him with his bills or cleaning up for him will only delay his trip to rock bottom and prolong his drinking. (Doesn’t sound like you’d do any of that. And maybe a lot of people wouldn’t do that for a friend. When it’s your sibling or your child or parent, it’s more difficult).
March 21, 2011 at 2:15 PM #679834zk
ParticipantWhat knowledge I have about alcoholism comes from having three siblings who are alcoholics. And from the searching and researching what I could do to help them.
Brian, your lack of sympathy seems pretty cold hearted to me. Your attitude belies a misunderstanding of the situation, in my opinion. I don’t think it’s a matter of will power, but even if it is, where do you think you get your will power from? What if you get it from the same place that tall people get their height from? Which is a combination of genes and nourishment (physical nourishment in the case of height, emotional nourishment in the case of will power). Sure, maybe your friend is weak. But how’d he get that way? How do smart people get smart? Should smart people have no sympathy for stupid people? What about ugly people? People who are naturally socially inept? Maybe this is a topic for another thread, because it’s a big topic. But I think it applies here.
Anyway, your attitude, ironically, might help you help him. In my opinion, the only thing you can do to help him is to tell him that when he decides to stop drinking, that, unless he dies first, you’ll do what you can to help him (and then, of course, do it if he decides to stop). Trying to help him now by covering for him in any way or helping him with his bills or cleaning up for him will only delay his trip to rock bottom and prolong his drinking. (Doesn’t sound like you’d do any of that. And maybe a lot of people wouldn’t do that for a friend. When it’s your sibling or your child or parent, it’s more difficult).
March 21, 2011 at 2:15 PM #679971zk
ParticipantWhat knowledge I have about alcoholism comes from having three siblings who are alcoholics. And from the searching and researching what I could do to help them.
Brian, your lack of sympathy seems pretty cold hearted to me. Your attitude belies a misunderstanding of the situation, in my opinion. I don’t think it’s a matter of will power, but even if it is, where do you think you get your will power from? What if you get it from the same place that tall people get their height from? Which is a combination of genes and nourishment (physical nourishment in the case of height, emotional nourishment in the case of will power). Sure, maybe your friend is weak. But how’d he get that way? How do smart people get smart? Should smart people have no sympathy for stupid people? What about ugly people? People who are naturally socially inept? Maybe this is a topic for another thread, because it’s a big topic. But I think it applies here.
Anyway, your attitude, ironically, might help you help him. In my opinion, the only thing you can do to help him is to tell him that when he decides to stop drinking, that, unless he dies first, you’ll do what you can to help him (and then, of course, do it if he decides to stop). Trying to help him now by covering for him in any way or helping him with his bills or cleaning up for him will only delay his trip to rock bottom and prolong his drinking. (Doesn’t sound like you’d do any of that. And maybe a lot of people wouldn’t do that for a friend. When it’s your sibling or your child or parent, it’s more difficult).
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.