going broke on 300K/year

[Coronita]

I don’t know. Sometimes, in some respects, in a twisted way, I have learned to respect and wish I had more of a “stay at home” type of wife that aren’t gold diggers but actually responsible and take care of all the stuff at home (they do exist).

I guess I have what you call a career oriented spouse. And sometimes, just sometimes, that career really gets in the way of raising a kid AND if you (the hubby) also has unexpected things to deal with (health).

In some respects, we never argue about money or who spends what. Within a reason, it’s like yeah sure just let each other know. Only things that need discussions are big investments , big ticket purchases like cars/homes/etc.

What we always argue over is when there is a conflict, who needs to tell their boss that they can’t go…I’d like to say, whoever makes more money, except we’re pretty even. Then, I’d like to say, I’m the dude, I win by default. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way either (at least not for me).

….And my wife is older than me btw. I guess it had to do with maturity (which ironically, I often times lack)…
Some of the older women just have an a sort of elegance. There was this 6’2″ish brunette early 40 blond I met recently friend of a friend, and she was just fine. Not the “hot” kind of fine. But she was a very polished and elegant person, smart as a whip… the way she spoke, how she spoke, her personality, and yeah she looked alright. (yeah, yeah, I love my wife, but come on, who wouldn’t notice these things.)

[Aecetia]

flu,
It must be what we grew up with. I think a lot of us had a stay at home Mom and it makes a big difference for kids when there are regular meals and at least one of the parents can go to the school events and games. Raising a family and being married involves a lot of sacrifice, but in the long run, it is worth it (at least for me). There is a lot to running a household well and it sounds like you appreciate that. Not everyone does, so your wife is fortunate.

[Aecetia]

flu,
It must be what we grew up with. I think a lot of us had a stay at home Mom and it makes a big difference for kids when there are regular meals and at least one of the parents can go to the school events and games. Raising a family and being married involves a lot of sacrifice, but in the long run, it is worth it (at least for me). There is a lot to running a household well and it sounds like you appreciate that. Not everyone does, so your wife is fortunate.

[Aecetia]

flu,
It must be what we grew up with. I think a lot of us had a stay at home Mom and it makes a big difference for kids when there are regular meals and at least one of the parents can go to the school events and games. Raising a family and being married involves a lot of sacrifice, but in the long run, it is worth it (at least for me). There is a lot to running a household well and it sounds like you appreciate that. Not everyone does, so your wife is fortunate.

[Aecetia]

flu,
It must be what we grew up with. I think a lot of us had a stay at home Mom and it makes a big difference for kids when there are regular meals and at least one of the parents can go to the school events and games. Raising a family and being married involves a lot of sacrifice, but in the long run, it is worth it (at least for me). There is a lot to running a household well and it sounds like you appreciate that. Not everyone does, so your wife is fortunate.

[Aecetia]

flu,
It must be what we grew up with. I think a lot of us had a stay at home Mom and it makes a big difference for kids when there are regular meals and at least one of the parents can go to the school events and games. Raising a family and being married involves a lot of sacrifice, but in the long run, it is worth it (at least for me). There is a lot to running a household well and it sounds like you appreciate that. Not everyone does, so your wife is fortunate.

[zzz]

[quote=patientrenter]I don’t know why we have to pick out illegal immigrants or army volunteers for examples of men who give up a lot materially when they marry and have kids. Most guys are happy to have money for a simple place to live, beer, a big TV and cable, a pool table, golf, a nice car… and they put the rest aside to hasten the day when they can spend all their time enjoying nothing but the above.

Adding the expenses of a wife and kids dramatically reduces the budget for his ideal lifestyle. That’s the real Daddy tax. I am not complaining, just pointing out that there’s a certain symmetry here.[/quote]

PR, what about the woman who questions why they would want to get married so they can contribute their earnings to the guy’s lifestyle of pool, cars and golf? What about her own needs for a nice car and golf habit? What about the woman who makes more than the man? Something like 25% of woman earn more than her man.

I think that is the modern day conundrum. To Acetia’s point and TG’s, I think in past generations, men’s and women’s role’s were far more clearly defined. Nuclear families were more likely to be intact. Man’s job: Bring home the bacon , do the manly stuff around the house like fixing things, take out the trash, fix the cars, etc. Woman: Nurture the family including keeping a beautiful home, cooking meals, cleaning, and taking care of the kids…oh and taking care of her man. I don’t know if people were happy with their roles, but it was what it was.

Look at modern life now. Both people work and often there are no clearly defined roles. What happens now is people fight or constantly negotiate who cooks, does the domestic chores, picks up the kids from school, helps kids with homework, bathes them, etc. How many couples sit down and define what roles they will play, and then accept it and actually live it? Both people can’t be the CEO. Someone has to be the janitor, the cook, the CFO, etc. You can’t decide to just share everything 50/50 because lets face it, someone always ends up doing more or shouldering the executive decision making. Who wears the pants in the family/relationship?

What is shocking to me is I see very few relationships where those who’ve adopted the modern life are in harmony. Happiest couples I know are the traditional ones. Man works, woman stays at home. Often times the woman used to be a high powered career woman herself, but chose to give it up when the 2nd or 3rd child came. Often times the man brings home the bacon, but the woman controls the finances. You would not believe how many men I know have said if their wife decided to screw with him and leave him, he’d be f’d because he lets his wife handle all the finances. I don’t understand the dynamics often, but those marriages where those roles are CLEAR and more traditional seem to have the least amount of conflict and those are the couples I know that are still married.

[zzz]

[quote=patientrenter]I don’t know why we have to pick out illegal immigrants or army volunteers for examples of men who give up a lot materially when they marry and have kids. Most guys are happy to have money for a simple place to live, beer, a big TV and cable, a pool table, golf, a nice car… and they put the rest aside to hasten the day when they can spend all their time enjoying nothing but the above.

Adding the expenses of a wife and kids dramatically reduces the budget for his ideal lifestyle. That’s the real Daddy tax. I am not complaining, just pointing out that there’s a certain symmetry here.[/quote]

PR, what about the woman who questions why they would want to get married so they can contribute their earnings to the guy’s lifestyle of pool, cars and golf? What about her own needs for a nice car and golf habit? What about the woman who makes more than the man? Something like 25% of woman earn more than her man.

I think that is the modern day conundrum. To Acetia’s point and TG’s, I think in past generations, men’s and women’s role’s were far more clearly defined. Nuclear families were more likely to be intact. Man’s job: Bring home the bacon , do the manly stuff around the house like fixing things, take out the trash, fix the cars, etc. Woman: Nurture the family including keeping a beautiful home, cooking meals, cleaning, and taking care of the kids…oh and taking care of her man. I don’t know if people were happy with their roles, but it was what it was.

Look at modern life now. Both people work and often there are no clearly defined roles. What happens now is people fight or constantly negotiate who cooks, does the domestic chores, picks up the kids from school, helps kids with homework, bathes them, etc. How many couples sit down and define what roles they will play, and then accept it and actually live it? Both people can’t be the CEO. Someone has to be the janitor, the cook, the CFO, etc. You can’t decide to just share everything 50/50 because lets face it, someone always ends up doing more or shouldering the executive decision making. Who wears the pants in the family/relationship?

What is shocking to me is I see very few relationships where those who’ve adopted the modern life are in harmony. Happiest couples I know are the traditional ones. Man works, woman stays at home. Often times the woman used to be a high powered career woman herself, but chose to give it up when the 2nd or 3rd child came. Often times the man brings home the bacon, but the woman controls the finances. You would not believe how many men I know have said if their wife decided to screw with him and leave him, he’d be f’d because he lets his wife handle all the finances. I don’t understand the dynamics often, but those marriages where those roles are CLEAR and more traditional seem to have the least amount of conflict and those are the couples I know that are still married.

[zzz]

[quote=patientrenter]I don’t know why we have to pick out illegal immigrants or army volunteers for examples of men who give up a lot materially when they marry and have kids. Most guys are happy to have money for a simple place to live, beer, a big TV and cable, a pool table, golf, a nice car… and they put the rest aside to hasten the day when they can spend all their time enjoying nothing but the above.

Adding the expenses of a wife and kids dramatically reduces the budget for his ideal lifestyle. That’s the real Daddy tax. I am not complaining, just pointing out that there’s a certain symmetry here.[/quote]

PR, what about the woman who questions why they would want to get married so they can contribute their earnings to the guy’s lifestyle of pool, cars and golf? What about her own needs for a nice car and golf habit? What about the woman who makes more than the man? Something like 25% of woman earn more than her man.

I think that is the modern day conundrum. To Acetia’s point and TG’s, I think in past generations, men’s and women’s role’s were far more clearly defined. Nuclear families were more likely to be intact. Man’s job: Bring home the bacon , do the manly stuff around the house like fixing things, take out the trash, fix the cars, etc. Woman: Nurture the family including keeping a beautiful home, cooking meals, cleaning, and taking care of the kids…oh and taking care of her man. I don’t know if people were happy with their roles, but it was what it was.

Look at modern life now. Both people work and often there are no clearly defined roles. What happens now is people fight or constantly negotiate who cooks, does the domestic chores, picks up the kids from school, helps kids with homework, bathes them, etc. How many couples sit down and define what roles they will play, and then accept it and actually live it? Both people can’t be the CEO. Someone has to be the janitor, the cook, the CFO, etc. You can’t decide to just share everything 50/50 because lets face it, someone always ends up doing more or shouldering the executive decision making. Who wears the pants in the family/relationship?

What is shocking to me is I see very few relationships where those who’ve adopted the modern life are in harmony. Happiest couples I know are the traditional ones. Man works, woman stays at home. Often times the woman used to be a high powered career woman herself, but chose to give it up when the 2nd or 3rd child came. Often times the man brings home the bacon, but the woman controls the finances. You would not believe how many men I know have said if their wife decided to screw with him and leave him, he’d be f’d because he lets his wife handle all the finances. I don’t understand the dynamics often, but those marriages where those roles are CLEAR and more traditional seem to have the least amount of conflict and those are the couples I know that are still married.

[zzz]

[quote=patientrenter]I don’t know why we have to pick out illegal immigrants or army volunteers for examples of men who give up a lot materially when they marry and have kids. Most guys are happy to have money for a simple place to live, beer, a big TV and cable, a pool table, golf, a nice car… and they put the rest aside to hasten the day when they can spend all their time enjoying nothing but the above.

Adding the expenses of a wife and kids dramatically reduces the budget for his ideal lifestyle. That’s the real Daddy tax. I am not complaining, just pointing out that there’s a certain symmetry here.[/quote]

PR, what about the woman who questions why they would want to get married so they can contribute their earnings to the guy’s lifestyle of pool, cars and golf? What about her own needs for a nice car and golf habit? What about the woman who makes more than the man? Something like 25% of woman earn more than her man.

I think that is the modern day conundrum. To Acetia’s point and TG’s, I think in past generations, men’s and women’s role’s were far more clearly defined. Nuclear families were more likely to be intact. Man’s job: Bring home the bacon , do the manly stuff around the house like fixing things, take out the trash, fix the cars, etc. Woman: Nurture the family including keeping a beautiful home, cooking meals, cleaning, and taking care of the kids…oh and taking care of her man. I don’t know if people were happy with their roles, but it was what it was.

Look at modern life now. Both people work and often there are no clearly defined roles. What happens now is people fight or constantly negotiate who cooks, does the domestic chores, picks up the kids from school, helps kids with homework, bathes them, etc. How many couples sit down and define what roles they will play, and then accept it and actually live it? Both people can’t be the CEO. Someone has to be the janitor, the cook, the CFO, etc. You can’t decide to just share everything 50/50 because lets face it, someone always ends up doing more or shouldering the executive decision making. Who wears the pants in the family/relationship?

What is shocking to me is I see very few relationships where those who’ve adopted the modern life are in harmony. Happiest couples I know are the traditional ones. Man works, woman stays at home. Often times the woman used to be a high powered career woman herself, but chose to give it up when the 2nd or 3rd child came. Often times the man brings home the bacon, but the woman controls the finances. You would not believe how many men I know have said if their wife decided to screw with him and leave him, he’d be f’d because he lets his wife handle all the finances. I don’t understand the dynamics often, but those marriages where those roles are CLEAR and more traditional seem to have the least amount of conflict and those are the couples I know that are still married.

[zzz]

[quote=patientrenter]I don’t know why we have to pick out illegal immigrants or army volunteers for examples of men who give up a lot materially when they marry and have kids. Most guys are happy to have money for a simple place to live, beer, a big TV and cable, a pool table, golf, a nice car… and they put the rest aside to hasten the day when they can spend all their time enjoying nothing but the above.

Adding the expenses of a wife and kids dramatically reduces the budget for his ideal lifestyle. That’s the real Daddy tax. I am not complaining, just pointing out that there’s a certain symmetry here.[/quote]

PR, what about the woman who questions why they would want to get married so they can contribute their earnings to the guy’s lifestyle of pool, cars and golf? What about her own needs for a nice car and golf habit? What about the woman who makes more than the man? Something like 25% of woman earn more than her man.

I think that is the modern day conundrum. To Acetia’s point and TG’s, I think in past generations, men’s and women’s role’s were far more clearly defined. Nuclear families were more likely to be intact. Man’s job: Bring home the bacon , do the manly stuff around the house like fixing things, take out the trash, fix the cars, etc. Woman: Nurture the family including keeping a beautiful home, cooking meals, cleaning, and taking care of the kids…oh and taking care of her man. I don’t know if people were happy with their roles, but it was what it was.

Look at modern life now. Both people work and often there are no clearly defined roles. What happens now is people fight or constantly negotiate who cooks, does the domestic chores, picks up the kids from school, helps kids with homework, bathes them, etc. How many couples sit down and define what roles they will play, and then accept it and actually live it? Both people can’t be the CEO. Someone has to be the janitor, the cook, the CFO, etc. You can’t decide to just share everything 50/50 because lets face it, someone always ends up doing more or shouldering the executive decision making. Who wears the pants in the family/relationship?

What is shocking to me is I see very few relationships where those who’ve adopted the modern life are in harmony. Happiest couples I know are the traditional ones. Man works, woman stays at home. Often times the woman used to be a high powered career woman herself, but chose to give it up when the 2nd or 3rd child came. Often times the man brings home the bacon, but the woman controls the finances. You would not believe how many men I know have said if their wife decided to screw with him and leave him, he’d be f’d because he lets his wife handle all the finances. I don’t understand the dynamics often, but those marriages where those roles are CLEAR and more traditional seem to have the least amount of conflict and those are the couples I know that are still married.

[scaredyclassic]

zzz –

you hit a nerve.

[scaredyclassic]

zzz –

you hit a nerve.

[scaredyclassic]

zzz –

you hit a nerve.

[scaredyclassic]

zzz –

you hit a nerve.

[Author]

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