End of the marriage story joke, from the internet.

[scaredyclassic]

For context, about halfway through Marriage Story, Adam Driver’s character, Charlie, has a tense meeting with his divorce lawyer, Bert (Alda). Charlie is facing the terrifying realization that he might be forced to choose between living in New York and seeing his son regularly. He’s on the verge of a breakdown, and, in an attempt to comfort him, Bert launches into a lengthy joke that he feels applies to Charlie’s situation.

Here’s the first part of the joke that we hear in the film:

This woman’s at her hairdresser’s, and she says, “I’m going to Rome on holiday.” He says, “Oh really, what airline are you taking?” She says, “Alitalia.” He says, “Alitalia, are you crazy? That’s terrible, don’t take that.” He says, “Where are you gonna stay?” She says, “I’m gonna stay at The Hassler.” “The Hassler! What, are you kidding? They’re renovating the Hassler. You’ll hear hammering all night long. You won’t sleep. What are you gonna see?” She says, “I think I’m going to try to go to the Vatican.” “The Vatican? You’ll be standing in line all day long.”

At this point, Charlie interrupts Bert to ask if he’s paying for the joke, cutting Alda short, and tragically depriving the audience of the punchline, forever.

But never fear. Here’s the finished joke, with the punchline, according to Alda:

So she goes to Rome, she comes back, and the hairdresser says, “How was it?” She says, “It was a great trip, it was wonderful.” “How was the Vatican?” “Wonderful, we happened to meet the Pope.” “You met the Pope?” “Yeah, and he spoke to me.” “What did he say to you?” “He said, ‘Where’d you get that fucking haircut?’”

[svelte]

lol! Love it!

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, ‘What is this Father?’

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, ‘Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.’

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a frail old lady walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady shuffled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son…..
‘Go get your Mother’

[zk]

Reminds me of this classic from the Dick Van Dyke Show.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=zk]Reminds me of this classic from the Dick Van Dyke Show.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpWLwp6GR9Q%5B/quote%5D

Haha!

Stand-up has changed.

[Author]

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