Long term care…

[CA renter]

Sorry to hear about that, UCGal. The situation at your house sounded fantastic for them. Strange to see that no matter how well you try to plan things out (and yours was the ideal situation, IMHO), there’s always a chance that someone or something will throw a wrench in the works.

[bearishgurl]

Back in ’94, we poured a 17 x 67 ft RV pad (13-15 yds concrete) on the side of the house, complete with privacy fence, motion-sensor lighting, boat swale, sewer, electricity and cable JUST so each set of parents could bring their motorhomes for a few of the “cold” weeks per year and live with us (instead of the nearby KOA campground). Due to illness, the RV’s never came to try it out. They all died between ’95 and ’00.

Even the best intentions end up being for naught, sometimes. That’s how life is.

UCGal, from your posts, the Piggs know all the headaches and expense you went through to build it for them. If you just can’t get your in-laws to stay there anymore, and your guest house is separately-metered, maybe you will be able to rent it out to a quiet UCSD student or senior citizen.

[UCGal]

[quote=bearishgurl]

UCGal, from your posts, the Piggs know all the headaches and expense you went through to build it for them. If you just can’t get your in-laws to stay there anymore, and your guest house is separately-metered, maybe you will be able to rent it out to a quiet UCSD student or senior citizen.[/quote]

It’s separately metered and it’s always been our intention to generate rental income from it. Still seeing where the dust will settle (or the in-laws settle) before we put in a tenant. But in the meantime I’m tracking rental comps on craigslist so I’m ready to go when we do that.

[Coronita]

[quote=UCGal]

Unfortunately, she isn’t recognizing her limitations. Social workers are involved, etc. We’re exploring getting guardianship/conservatorship of both parents. But that’s going to be an emotional firestorm because of the denial factor.
…
Unfortunately, the legal system is set up to make doing the right thing (conservatorship) a very expensive legal process if the conservatee fights it. It’s a court proceeding, with hired specialists, etc. We’ve done the initial discussions with an attorney – but the family hasn’t reached a decision on the next step.[/quote]

UCGal… I don’t mean to sound like a paranoid person… But there’s been some stories in CA about conservatorship fraud posted in the LA Times for some time…There are people out there that specifically prey on seniors and some slew of legal trickerty somehow gain conservatorship of others, with the purpose of only to clean them out…I’m trying to figure out what these con-artists do…BUT, I’d thought i’d point it out… Watch out for the fraudsters…

I’ll try to find the LA Times articles writen on this subject… Meanwhile….

http://www.estateofdenial.com/2009/09/16/does-california-conservatorship-industry-exploit-people-property/

Sorry, I know the last thing you need is one more thing to think about.

[UCGal]

Interesting article.

I don’t think it would apply in our case. We would not be using professional conservators… It would be my husband or my sister in law. The “estate” isn’t big enough to warrant professional conservatorship. But we need to step in to make sure bills are paid.

That’s not to say there isn’t a huge racket associated with conservatorship/guardianship. Lawyers for the person wanting conservatorship, lawyers for the conservatee, legal experts to be hired on both sides to address competency… It can get expensive. That’s one of the reasons we haven’t pulled the trigger yet. But the situation is getting worse day by day… we’re going to have to do it sooner, rather than later. But it sucks to have to pony out big legal fees to do the right thing.

Amazing about that crooked judge in the article. What a scumbag.

[no_such_reality]

This item is back in the news today with a new study showing that care for the elderly with dementia is far more costly than caring for cancer or heart disease. Dementia tops costs

As the next generation retires we’re going to have a real crises as the broken families leave only the industrialized care system to provide the necessary care.

[UCGal]

[quote=no_such_reality]This item is back in the news today with a new study showing that care for the elderly with dementia is far more costly than caring for cancer or heart disease. Dementia tops costs

As the next generation retires we’re going to have a real crises as the broken families leave only the industrialized care system to provide the necessary care.[/quote]
dementia is a big issue. It’s harder for families to take care of their elderly relatives at home because dementia sometimes comes with anger, violence, security issues, etc.

Our neighbor cared for his wife for more than a decade before finally having to put her in a home. She would “sundown” and sometimes became violent. She could not be left alone at any time. (So if he had a doctors appt he’d need to get someone to stay with her.) I admire him for hanging in as long as he did. Not many people would.

We’re dealing with milder issues in our family… trying to come up with a plan that doesn’t include a nursing home – but coming to the realization that a dementia lock-down facility may be in the near future. It’s tough.

Dementia doesn’t necessarily result in near term death… so it can get quite expensive if nursing home or assisted living facilities are needed.

[CA renter]

We’re dealing with the same thing ourselves. Unfortunately, this is a long-term companion of my MIL (30+ years). Never married, so we have no say at all in his care (not that we’d have any say anyway, unless he was a blood relative). The (blood) family doesn’t want to deal with it so is in denial…leaving him to live by himself when he is deep in the throes of dementia or Alzheimer’s. Everybody is in denial, and he’s driving around on L.A. freeways getting lost on an almost daily basis. We’ve offered to take him in, but his family in L.A. won’t let us. This is such a sucky position for any family to be in. 🙁

My heart goes out to everyone who has to deal with this.

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