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  • January 12, 2011 at 8:04 AM #653175
    Scarlett
    Participant

    It seems to me that you are a bit stressed about those emails. I think it’s better to step back from house hunting and purchasing, get the baby born and raise him/her for a few months, discuss and settle things with your family and husband. Make sure what you both want in terms of a house and what compromises you can make – let the other family know and also know exactly what you can expect from your family (and his) regarding this aspect so you can be prepared to deal with it if needed – it seems to be affecting you too much now. You live in the house not them, you pay the mortgage, not them – unless you plan to have live-in grandparents for the baby.

    You don’t sound ready to buy THIS house. If you do you will already have regrets about settling for something that doesn’t make you really happy and your family criticizes.. I wouldn’t buy a house under these circumstances but that’s me. You have to be more prepared mentally and know exactly what you both want.

    January 12, 2011 at 8:40 AM #652070
    SD Realtor
    Participant

    Yes I have dealt with the listing agent before and he was a good agent. He does alot of volume and when I was working with him it went well. Our offer did not get accepted but he said he had other offers and told me what price I needed to get my clients to and they would not do it. When that home closed the price was exactly where he said it was.

    I don’t think the problem here is with the home itself. I don’t know if there were other offers or not. To me this problem is easily identified. You simply are getting worked over by your family on this home. My two cents is if you pass on it and buy another one in the same area the same crap will happen with your family. If you buckle under to your family and buy in some cookie cutter place in North County your husband will not be happy.

    So… this issue to me is not really about this home, it is more about acceptance issues. Sorry for putting a shrink hat on but I see this sort of stuff alot in real estate. I have seen purchases when people try to solve their issues buy purchasing a home. It does not work. I am not saying that is what you are doing. Clearly though there are other issues here that look like your husbands desires and your family desires are not in sync and you are bearing the brunt of it.

    Don’t mean to sidetrack but from my perspective if your family thinks they know what is better for you then your husband, it will always be that way until you deal with them directly.

    Personally the pics look cool to me.. I like the place from the pics and know the neighborhood as well. sdr walked it and I would trust his opinion on the home even though I never trust a realtor. As for the (in my opinion) pipe dream that the public schools there will dramatically improve, well that is not my opinion and I would budget for many years of private school. That is just me though.

    In the absence of the pressure from your family would you by this home?

    January 12, 2011 at 8:40 AM #652136
    SD Realtor
    Participant

    Yes I have dealt with the listing agent before and he was a good agent. He does alot of volume and when I was working with him it went well. Our offer did not get accepted but he said he had other offers and told me what price I needed to get my clients to and they would not do it. When that home closed the price was exactly where he said it was.

    I don’t think the problem here is with the home itself. I don’t know if there were other offers or not. To me this problem is easily identified. You simply are getting worked over by your family on this home. My two cents is if you pass on it and buy another one in the same area the same crap will happen with your family. If you buckle under to your family and buy in some cookie cutter place in North County your husband will not be happy.

    So… this issue to me is not really about this home, it is more about acceptance issues. Sorry for putting a shrink hat on but I see this sort of stuff alot in real estate. I have seen purchases when people try to solve their issues buy purchasing a home. It does not work. I am not saying that is what you are doing. Clearly though there are other issues here that look like your husbands desires and your family desires are not in sync and you are bearing the brunt of it.

    Don’t mean to sidetrack but from my perspective if your family thinks they know what is better for you then your husband, it will always be that way until you deal with them directly.

    Personally the pics look cool to me.. I like the place from the pics and know the neighborhood as well. sdr walked it and I would trust his opinion on the home even though I never trust a realtor. As for the (in my opinion) pipe dream that the public schools there will dramatically improve, well that is not my opinion and I would budget for many years of private school. That is just me though.

    In the absence of the pressure from your family would you by this home?

    January 12, 2011 at 8:40 AM #652724
    SD Realtor
    Participant

    Yes I have dealt with the listing agent before and he was a good agent. He does alot of volume and when I was working with him it went well. Our offer did not get accepted but he said he had other offers and told me what price I needed to get my clients to and they would not do it. When that home closed the price was exactly where he said it was.

    I don’t think the problem here is with the home itself. I don’t know if there were other offers or not. To me this problem is easily identified. You simply are getting worked over by your family on this home. My two cents is if you pass on it and buy another one in the same area the same crap will happen with your family. If you buckle under to your family and buy in some cookie cutter place in North County your husband will not be happy.

    So… this issue to me is not really about this home, it is more about acceptance issues. Sorry for putting a shrink hat on but I see this sort of stuff alot in real estate. I have seen purchases when people try to solve their issues buy purchasing a home. It does not work. I am not saying that is what you are doing. Clearly though there are other issues here that look like your husbands desires and your family desires are not in sync and you are bearing the brunt of it.

    Don’t mean to sidetrack but from my perspective if your family thinks they know what is better for you then your husband, it will always be that way until you deal with them directly.

    Personally the pics look cool to me.. I like the place from the pics and know the neighborhood as well. sdr walked it and I would trust his opinion on the home even though I never trust a realtor. As for the (in my opinion) pipe dream that the public schools there will dramatically improve, well that is not my opinion and I would budget for many years of private school. That is just me though.

    In the absence of the pressure from your family would you by this home?

    January 12, 2011 at 8:40 AM #652861
    SD Realtor
    Participant

    Yes I have dealt with the listing agent before and he was a good agent. He does alot of volume and when I was working with him it went well. Our offer did not get accepted but he said he had other offers and told me what price I needed to get my clients to and they would not do it. When that home closed the price was exactly where he said it was.

    I don’t think the problem here is with the home itself. I don’t know if there were other offers or not. To me this problem is easily identified. You simply are getting worked over by your family on this home. My two cents is if you pass on it and buy another one in the same area the same crap will happen with your family. If you buckle under to your family and buy in some cookie cutter place in North County your husband will not be happy.

    So… this issue to me is not really about this home, it is more about acceptance issues. Sorry for putting a shrink hat on but I see this sort of stuff alot in real estate. I have seen purchases when people try to solve their issues buy purchasing a home. It does not work. I am not saying that is what you are doing. Clearly though there are other issues here that look like your husbands desires and your family desires are not in sync and you are bearing the brunt of it.

    Don’t mean to sidetrack but from my perspective if your family thinks they know what is better for you then your husband, it will always be that way until you deal with them directly.

    Personally the pics look cool to me.. I like the place from the pics and know the neighborhood as well. sdr walked it and I would trust his opinion on the home even though I never trust a realtor. As for the (in my opinion) pipe dream that the public schools there will dramatically improve, well that is not my opinion and I would budget for many years of private school. That is just me though.

    In the absence of the pressure from your family would you by this home?

    January 12, 2011 at 8:40 AM #653190
    SD Realtor
    Participant

    Yes I have dealt with the listing agent before and he was a good agent. He does alot of volume and when I was working with him it went well. Our offer did not get accepted but he said he had other offers and told me what price I needed to get my clients to and they would not do it. When that home closed the price was exactly where he said it was.

    I don’t think the problem here is with the home itself. I don’t know if there were other offers or not. To me this problem is easily identified. You simply are getting worked over by your family on this home. My two cents is if you pass on it and buy another one in the same area the same crap will happen with your family. If you buckle under to your family and buy in some cookie cutter place in North County your husband will not be happy.

    So… this issue to me is not really about this home, it is more about acceptance issues. Sorry for putting a shrink hat on but I see this sort of stuff alot in real estate. I have seen purchases when people try to solve their issues buy purchasing a home. It does not work. I am not saying that is what you are doing. Clearly though there are other issues here that look like your husbands desires and your family desires are not in sync and you are bearing the brunt of it.

    Don’t mean to sidetrack but from my perspective if your family thinks they know what is better for you then your husband, it will always be that way until you deal with them directly.

    Personally the pics look cool to me.. I like the place from the pics and know the neighborhood as well. sdr walked it and I would trust his opinion on the home even though I never trust a realtor. As for the (in my opinion) pipe dream that the public schools there will dramatically improve, well that is not my opinion and I would budget for many years of private school. That is just me though.

    In the absence of the pressure from your family would you by this home?

    January 12, 2011 at 8:53 AM #652080
    Scarlett
    Participant

    That’s the crucial question, SD R. Well said. BTW, you said you never trust a realtor – not even yourself? 🙂 Just kidding.

    January 12, 2011 at 8:53 AM #652146
    Scarlett
    Participant

    That’s the crucial question, SD R. Well said. BTW, you said you never trust a realtor – not even yourself? 🙂 Just kidding.

    January 12, 2011 at 8:53 AM #652734
    Scarlett
    Participant

    That’s the crucial question, SD R. Well said. BTW, you said you never trust a realtor – not even yourself? 🙂 Just kidding.

    January 12, 2011 at 8:53 AM #652871
    Scarlett
    Participant

    That’s the crucial question, SD R. Well said. BTW, you said you never trust a realtor – not even yourself? 🙂 Just kidding.

    January 12, 2011 at 8:53 AM #653200
    Scarlett
    Participant

    That’s the crucial question, SD R. Well said. BTW, you said you never trust a realtor – not even yourself? 🙂 Just kidding.

    January 12, 2011 at 9:00 AM #652085
    SD Realtor
    Participant

    No I definitely do not trust myself. If I pass on a stock pick, do the opposite and you will be wealthy for life! heheheh…

    January 12, 2011 at 9:00 AM #652151
    SD Realtor
    Participant

    No I definitely do not trust myself. If I pass on a stock pick, do the opposite and you will be wealthy for life! heheheh…

    January 12, 2011 at 9:00 AM #652739
    SD Realtor
    Participant

    No I definitely do not trust myself. If I pass on a stock pick, do the opposite and you will be wealthy for life! heheheh…

    January 12, 2011 at 9:00 AM #652876
    SD Realtor
    Participant

    No I definitely do not trust myself. If I pass on a stock pick, do the opposite and you will be wealthy for life! heheheh…

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