Affairs of the heart…

[Bugs]

This whole thread makes me want to go out and do something nice for my wife (of 17 years), so I can continue to avoid the dating game.

Alternately, it provides a compelling argument in favor of the legalization of prostitution. That way, those men who view women primarily in those terms can render their relationships into a simple, timely, and convenient the-customer-is-always-right transaction, and be free to live the other 98% of their life in a happier and more productive manner. Equally, by taking these guys out of the casual dating pool, the women who remain can get a more accurate perspective of how much their personality is really worth in the open market. Here’s a preview – it won’t be the bad boys who participate in that dating pool.

I say we should delegate the institution of marriage to religion, and fall back on contract law and civil unions to provide the legal protections women aspire to when they refer to wanting security. Make these unions akin to a lease with an initial 1-year term and annual renewals. No more “divorce” – the relationship can end simply as a result of one side or the other not exercising their annual option. That way both sides can avoid the problems of taking their SO for granted.

As for kids and the human race, I think we should get real. By my estimation 80% or more of the children who are born come into this world as a result of a woman wanting to be a mother and a man either letting her do it to make her happy (against his better judgement) or being unable to prevent her from doing it. Whether or not we continue the barbaric custom of treating people like property and calling it a marriage will have no bearing on the continuation of the species.

[davelj]

Marion: “I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women.”

Yes, I’m generalizing. Hence my use of “IN GENERAL TERMS” – in capitals, no less. There are exceptions to every rule.

Marion: “In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them… Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.”

I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question.

Marion: “And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.”

I’m indifferent to the human race. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy being a human and don’t want other humans to die out while I’m still alive. But, in the big picture, humans are nothing more than the species that happens to be at the top of the food chain on planet earth at this moment in time. In the whole scheme of the universe, humans are… well… quite irrelevant. Thus, the extinction of the human race – which is inevitable at some point – is no big deal to me. Although I sympathize with your view – it’s common for members of a particular group to mistakenly overemphasize their own importance as part of a greater whole.

[davelj]

Marion: “I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women.”

Yes, I’m generalizing. Hence my use of “IN GENERAL TERMS” – in capitals, no less. There are exceptions to every rule.

Marion: “In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them… Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.”

I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question.

Marion: “And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.”

I’m indifferent to the human race. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy being a human and don’t want other humans to die out while I’m still alive. But, in the big picture, humans are nothing more than the species that happens to be at the top of the food chain on planet earth at this moment in time. In the whole scheme of the universe, humans are… well… quite irrelevant. Thus, the extinction of the human race – which is inevitable at some point – is no big deal to me. Although I sympathize with your view – it’s common for members of a particular group to mistakenly overemphasize their own importance as part of a greater whole.

[davelj]

Marion: “I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women.”

Yes, I’m generalizing. Hence my use of “IN GENERAL TERMS” – in capitals, no less. There are exceptions to every rule.

Marion: “In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them… Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.”

I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question.

Marion: “And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.”

I’m indifferent to the human race. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy being a human and don’t want other humans to die out while I’m still alive. But, in the big picture, humans are nothing more than the species that happens to be at the top of the food chain on planet earth at this moment in time. In the whole scheme of the universe, humans are… well… quite irrelevant. Thus, the extinction of the human race – which is inevitable at some point – is no big deal to me. Although I sympathize with your view – it’s common for members of a particular group to mistakenly overemphasize their own importance as part of a greater whole.

[davelj]

Marion: “I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women.”

Yes, I’m generalizing. Hence my use of “IN GENERAL TERMS” – in capitals, no less. There are exceptions to every rule.

Marion: “In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them… Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.”

I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question.

Marion: “And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.”

I’m indifferent to the human race. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy being a human and don’t want other humans to die out while I’m still alive. But, in the big picture, humans are nothing more than the species that happens to be at the top of the food chain on planet earth at this moment in time. In the whole scheme of the universe, humans are… well… quite irrelevant. Thus, the extinction of the human race – which is inevitable at some point – is no big deal to me. Although I sympathize with your view – it’s common for members of a particular group to mistakenly overemphasize their own importance as part of a greater whole.

[davelj]

Marion: “I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women.”

Yes, I’m generalizing. Hence my use of “IN GENERAL TERMS” – in capitals, no less. There are exceptions to every rule.

Marion: “In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them… Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.”

I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question.

Marion: “And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.”

I’m indifferent to the human race. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy being a human and don’t want other humans to die out while I’m still alive. But, in the big picture, humans are nothing more than the species that happens to be at the top of the food chain on planet earth at this moment in time. In the whole scheme of the universe, humans are… well… quite irrelevant. Thus, the extinction of the human race – which is inevitable at some point – is no big deal to me. Although I sympathize with your view – it’s common for members of a particular group to mistakenly overemphasize their own importance as part of a greater whole.

[novice1027]

Marion,
If you like the guy otherwise, why don’t you take him on a nice date, maybe then he will realize you are not a after him because of his money.
Maybe he’s just a “Y” chromosome, that doesn’t really understand what a “nice date” is. You know they can be simple creatures 🙂 (but we love you anyways!)

[novice1027]

Marion,
If you like the guy otherwise, why don’t you take him on a nice date, maybe then he will realize you are not a after him because of his money.
Maybe he’s just a “Y” chromosome, that doesn’t really understand what a “nice date” is. You know they can be simple creatures 🙂 (but we love you anyways!)

[novice1027]

Marion,
If you like the guy otherwise, why don’t you take him on a nice date, maybe then he will realize you are not a after him because of his money.
Maybe he’s just a “Y” chromosome, that doesn’t really understand what a “nice date” is. You know they can be simple creatures 🙂 (but we love you anyways!)

[novice1027]

Marion,
If you like the guy otherwise, why don’t you take him on a nice date, maybe then he will realize you are not a after him because of his money.
Maybe he’s just a “Y” chromosome, that doesn’t really understand what a “nice date” is. You know they can be simple creatures 🙂 (but we love you anyways!)

[novice1027]

Marion,
If you like the guy otherwise, why don’t you take him on a nice date, maybe then he will realize you are not a after him because of his money.
Maybe he’s just a “Y” chromosome, that doesn’t really understand what a “nice date” is. You know they can be simple creatures 🙂 (but we love you anyways!)

[Coronita]

Damn,

I miss all the fun. Why am I always the busiest when something like this is posted?

Anyway, your date seems to have been through a relationship that ended badly. He is probably in the "all women are bitches" phase. No offense. Actually, the fact that he's seeing you should be a complement because it means he probably thinks your attractive and interesting, and under normal circumstances would actually treat you pretty well. Unfortunately, he's probably not looking for a commitment in the short term and in fact probably will treat you like sh!t not so much because anything you say or do. But because you're just in the wrong time. What he probably needs in the long run is someone caring and considerate, but he doesn't seem ready to deal right now.

Regarding prenups. Prior to my wife and i getting married, I thought about prenups. In my experience, prenups are something a guy says firmly before hitched, but when it really comes down to it, it's easier said than done. In my particular case, it wasn't an issue because like i said before my wife and I were pretty much even financially and careerwise. In fact, in some point in time, she probably had more assets than me. If she had asked for a prenup herself, I wouldn't have really mind, because frankly I think what is mine before marriage is really mine and what is hers before marriage is really hers. In the long run, if things work out it doesn't really matter. And neither of us were really cheap to the other person.

 

Things do get interesting though. It's not about the money. It's about respect… For example, for awhile we argued about whether to let her parents move here permanently. I wasn't a big fan of it because they can't drive, get around, and felt it would be a huge burden in addition to a kid. She obviously wanted to be closer to her parents. Financially, there were times that I could tell she wanted to say "I can afford to buy my parents their own place damnit, so leave me alone". But I have to say she took the high road and understood that would leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth….that would lead to both of us saying to each other "the hell with you, I'm deciding whatever I want and I don't give a damn". For that reason, it's the same reason why I won't go spend money on a new car even if I could without running it by her, or she wouldn't make big purchases without running it by me. It's not the money alone, it's the acknowledgement of respect that you would listen and consider the others feelings.

Here lies your problem. Longer term…You need to figure out if the guy is doing what he's doing because he was burned and just trying to be careful, or is it just an excuse for him to treat you like sh!t. I mean money aside, there is a degree of respect, and there shouldn't be a price on that one way of the other. I wouldn't necessarily be taking dates out to 5 star restaurants, but I wouldn't exactly take her to mcdonald's either. And there are some people that are broken and aren't going to come around no matter how accomodating you try to be.

 

That said, 4 dates is hardly something to be falling for someone over right away. Personally, I was always impressed by girls that asked me out on a date and took me to a reasonable place. Or in the case of my wife, inviting herself over to my place after I relocated to the bay area after just meeting me 2 weeks prior at my going away party. Poor girl didn't realize then what a pain in the ass i can be at times .

Some advice, next time you date someone new, ask him how HE would feel about signing a prenup. That will get him interested, and don't tell him the details of what you do. That will be interesting.

 

 

[Coronita]

Damn,

I miss all the fun. Why am I always the busiest when something like this is posted?

Anyway, your date seems to have been through a relationship that ended badly. He is probably in the "all women are bitches" phase. No offense. Actually, the fact that he's seeing you should be a complement because it means he probably thinks your attractive and interesting, and under normal circumstances would actually treat you pretty well. Unfortunately, he's probably not looking for a commitment in the short term and in fact probably will treat you like sh!t not so much because anything you say or do. But because you're just in the wrong time. What he probably needs in the long run is someone caring and considerate, but he doesn't seem ready to deal right now.

Regarding prenups. Prior to my wife and i getting married, I thought about prenups. In my experience, prenups are something a guy says firmly before hitched, but when it really comes down to it, it's easier said than done. In my particular case, it wasn't an issue because like i said before my wife and I were pretty much even financially and careerwise. In fact, in some point in time, she probably had more assets than me. If she had asked for a prenup herself, I wouldn't have really mind, because frankly I think what is mine before marriage is really mine and what is hers before marriage is really hers. In the long run, if things work out it doesn't really matter. And neither of us were really cheap to the other person.

 

Things do get interesting though. It's not about the money. It's about respect… For example, for awhile we argued about whether to let her parents move here permanently. I wasn't a big fan of it because they can't drive, get around, and felt it would be a huge burden in addition to a kid. She obviously wanted to be closer to her parents. Financially, there were times that I could tell she wanted to say "I can afford to buy my parents their own place damnit, so leave me alone". But I have to say she took the high road and understood that would leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth….that would lead to both of us saying to each other "the hell with you, I'm deciding whatever I want and I don't give a damn". For that reason, it's the same reason why I won't go spend money on a new car even if I could without running it by her, or she wouldn't make big purchases without running it by me. It's not the money alone, it's the acknowledgement of respect that you would listen and consider the others feelings.

Here lies your problem. Longer term…You need to figure out if the guy is doing what he's doing because he was burned and just trying to be careful, or is it just an excuse for him to treat you like sh!t. I mean money aside, there is a degree of respect, and there shouldn't be a price on that one way of the other. I wouldn't necessarily be taking dates out to 5 star restaurants, but I wouldn't exactly take her to mcdonald's either. And there are some people that are broken and aren't going to come around no matter how accomodating you try to be.

 

That said, 4 dates is hardly something to be falling for someone over right away. Personally, I was always impressed by girls that asked me out on a date and took me to a reasonable place. Or in the case of my wife, inviting herself over to my place after I relocated to the bay area after just meeting me 2 weeks prior at my going away party. Poor girl didn't realize then what a pain in the ass i can be at times .

Some advice, next time you date someone new, ask him how HE would feel about signing a prenup. That will get him interested, and don't tell him the details of what you do. That will be interesting.

 

 

[Coronita]

Damn,

I miss all the fun. Why am I always the busiest when something like this is posted?

Anyway, your date seems to have been through a relationship that ended badly. He is probably in the "all women are bitches" phase. No offense. Actually, the fact that he's seeing you should be a complement because it means he probably thinks your attractive and interesting, and under normal circumstances would actually treat you pretty well. Unfortunately, he's probably not looking for a commitment in the short term and in fact probably will treat you like sh!t not so much because anything you say or do. But because you're just in the wrong time. What he probably needs in the long run is someone caring and considerate, but he doesn't seem ready to deal right now.

Regarding prenups. Prior to my wife and i getting married, I thought about prenups. In my experience, prenups are something a guy says firmly before hitched, but when it really comes down to it, it's easier said than done. In my particular case, it wasn't an issue because like i said before my wife and I were pretty much even financially and careerwise. In fact, in some point in time, she probably had more assets than me. If she had asked for a prenup herself, I wouldn't have really mind, because frankly I think what is mine before marriage is really mine and what is hers before marriage is really hers. In the long run, if things work out it doesn't really matter. And neither of us were really cheap to the other person.

 

Things do get interesting though. It's not about the money. It's about respect… For example, for awhile we argued about whether to let her parents move here permanently. I wasn't a big fan of it because they can't drive, get around, and felt it would be a huge burden in addition to a kid. She obviously wanted to be closer to her parents. Financially, there were times that I could tell she wanted to say "I can afford to buy my parents their own place damnit, so leave me alone". But I have to say she took the high road and understood that would leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth….that would lead to both of us saying to each other "the hell with you, I'm deciding whatever I want and I don't give a damn". For that reason, it's the same reason why I won't go spend money on a new car even if I could without running it by her, or she wouldn't make big purchases without running it by me. It's not the money alone, it's the acknowledgement of respect that you would listen and consider the others feelings.

Here lies your problem. Longer term…You need to figure out if the guy is doing what he's doing because he was burned and just trying to be careful, or is it just an excuse for him to treat you like sh!t. I mean money aside, there is a degree of respect, and there shouldn't be a price on that one way of the other. I wouldn't necessarily be taking dates out to 5 star restaurants, but I wouldn't exactly take her to mcdonald's either. And there are some people that are broken and aren't going to come around no matter how accomodating you try to be.

 

That said, 4 dates is hardly something to be falling for someone over right away. Personally, I was always impressed by girls that asked me out on a date and took me to a reasonable place. Or in the case of my wife, inviting herself over to my place after I relocated to the bay area after just meeting me 2 weeks prior at my going away party. Poor girl didn't realize then what a pain in the ass i can be at times .

Some advice, next time you date someone new, ask him how HE would feel about signing a prenup. That will get him interested, and don't tell him the details of what you do. That will be interesting.

 

 

[Coronita]

Damn,

I miss all the fun. Why am I always the busiest when something like this is posted?

Anyway, your date seems to have been through a relationship that ended badly. He is probably in the "all women are bitches" phase. No offense. Actually, the fact that he's seeing you should be a complement because it means he probably thinks your attractive and interesting, and under normal circumstances would actually treat you pretty well. Unfortunately, he's probably not looking for a commitment in the short term and in fact probably will treat you like sh!t not so much because anything you say or do. But because you're just in the wrong time. What he probably needs in the long run is someone caring and considerate, but he doesn't seem ready to deal right now.

Regarding prenups. Prior to my wife and i getting married, I thought about prenups. In my experience, prenups are something a guy says firmly before hitched, but when it really comes down to it, it's easier said than done. In my particular case, it wasn't an issue because like i said before my wife and I were pretty much even financially and careerwise. In fact, in some point in time, she probably had more assets than me. If she had asked for a prenup herself, I wouldn't have really mind, because frankly I think what is mine before marriage is really mine and what is hers before marriage is really hers. In the long run, if things work out it doesn't really matter. And neither of us were really cheap to the other person.

 

Things do get interesting though. It's not about the money. It's about respect… For example, for awhile we argued about whether to let her parents move here permanently. I wasn't a big fan of it because they can't drive, get around, and felt it would be a huge burden in addition to a kid. She obviously wanted to be closer to her parents. Financially, there were times that I could tell she wanted to say "I can afford to buy my parents their own place damnit, so leave me alone". But I have to say she took the high road and understood that would leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth….that would lead to both of us saying to each other "the hell with you, I'm deciding whatever I want and I don't give a damn". For that reason, it's the same reason why I won't go spend money on a new car even if I could without running it by her, or she wouldn't make big purchases without running it by me. It's not the money alone, it's the acknowledgement of respect that you would listen and consider the others feelings.

Here lies your problem. Longer term…You need to figure out if the guy is doing what he's doing because he was burned and just trying to be careful, or is it just an excuse for him to treat you like sh!t. I mean money aside, there is a degree of respect, and there shouldn't be a price on that one way of the other. I wouldn't necessarily be taking dates out to 5 star restaurants, but I wouldn't exactly take her to mcdonald's either. And there are some people that are broken and aren't going to come around no matter how accomodating you try to be.

 

That said, 4 dates is hardly something to be falling for someone over right away. Personally, I was always impressed by girls that asked me out on a date and took me to a reasonable place. Or in the case of my wife, inviting herself over to my place after I relocated to the bay area after just meeting me 2 weeks prior at my going away party. Poor girl didn't realize then what a pain in the ass i can be at times .

Some advice, next time you date someone new, ask him how HE would feel about signing a prenup. That will get him interested, and don't tell him the details of what you do. That will be interesting.

 

 

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