Yeah but when it was happening, you didn’t seem to enjoy it, your name was fitting at the time. You were scared. That weird energy was fear leaving the body in the face of uncertainty, and it didn’t leave everyone at the same pace. Now that it has past, you look back on it like i look back at the first time I jumped out of an airplane with only a parachute between me and certain death. Now I think of it as a fond memory, but in the moment I was scared.
You do still owe me a bottle of wine for talking you off that cliff, I’m one of the few people who know what house you bought and what you paid. In any other time but that weird period of uncertainty, you would have been arrested for theft because you got arguably the best deal of any pigg. You live on land in a custom home within walking distance to a winery and your mortgage is comparable to a mission valley condo’s rent. So of course you long for the days of yore, who wouldn’t like to remember kicking a 90 yard field goal during the Superbowl. Cancel your next therapy session, join the nearest 2 wine clubs and begin to enjoy taking the single best thing about where we live.
You are more than welcome to join me in my next adventure since you possess a six pack now. As soon as these kids are off the dole and out of college, I’m going to hit my next bucket list item. A week at some all inclusive carribean naked resort like hedonism. Now that I have a permanent ladyfriend with a similar spirit, it won’t seem so creepy and just think how easy it will be to pack your suitcase. Sunscreen… check! One outfit for the plane ride home….check! Toothbrush….check! And we’re done packing. I’m not kidding, I’m going before this body completely falls apart.
