Woman can very rarely have it all, at least not in the classical societal definition. If the definition is to have success in your career (read money and power), the perfect family, gorgeous husband, beautiful home, and your sanity and health, well I challenge you to find many woman. I challenge you to find many men who fit this definition. I don’t know too many truly balanced people period. Most people either work too much, or play too much or do both and burn the candle at both ends, neglect their health, obsess about their health/appearance, obsessed about something, unhappy in their relationships, etc.
Lets face it, woman’s eggs have a shelf life. Assume a woman went to college, graduated at 22, etc. By the time they are in their early to mid 30s, they have to choose whether they want to have children and take a breather from their career during their prime child bearing years that coincides with a time when their careers are peaking. As someone else pointed out, if you do have a high powered job that consumes a disproportionate amount of your time, why do you want to have children? Incredibly selfish if its just because you “WANT” them. What about the children?
A lot of societal double standards around women versus men’s roles as a parent. I am not saying men are better or worse parents, just that society expect women to play an integral role and judge woman far more harshly. How often do people question why a father never picks up their kids from school versus if a mother was never available due to her career? How is it viewed when a woman travels incessantly and rarely sees her children versus a man? Lets not get into how men and woman are perceived differently in the workplace.
Men do not have to face having children with the same deadline. Swimmers may be less mobile, but for a lot of men, they still swim. Unlike women, most men’s swimmers don’t rot.
People look at me like I have 2 heads when asked if I want have children and don’t give them a standard answer. First off, men or women should never ask single people the following questions:
Why are you not married?
When are you getting married to your significant other?
When are you getting engaged?
Are you going to have children or do you want children?
Very personal questions. I personally have options but I have many friends, men and women who desperately want to either get married, or have children or both, and are lacking in both departments. Its like asking someone if they have inadequate genitalia. If you find the last question highly inappropriate to ask at a party, at work, etc, then you probably shouldn’t ask people any of the questions above either. Devastating questions if they are not options for people.
All of these choices are VERY personal and unique to individuals, couples etc and never the same for anyone.
