What knowledge I have about alcoholism comes from having three siblings who are alcoholics. And from the searching and researching what I could do to help them.
Brian, your lack of sympathy seems pretty cold hearted to me. Your attitude belies a misunderstanding of the situation, in my opinion. I don’t think it’s a matter of will power, but even if it is, where do you think you get your will power from? What if you get it from the same place that tall people get their height from? Which is a combination of genes and nourishment (physical nourishment in the case of height, emotional nourishment in the case of will power). Sure, maybe your friend is weak. But how’d he get that way? How do smart people get smart? Should smart people have no sympathy for stupid people? What about ugly people? People who are naturally socially inept? Maybe this is a topic for another thread, because it’s a big topic. But I think it applies here.
Anyway, your attitude, ironically, might help you help him. In my opinion, the only thing you can do to help him is to tell him that when he decides to stop drinking, that, unless he dies first, you’ll do what you can to help him (and then, of course, do it if he decides to stop). Trying to help him now by covering for him in any way or helping him with his bills or cleaning up for him will only delay his trip to rock bottom and prolong his drinking. (Doesn’t sound like you’d do any of that. And maybe a lot of people wouldn’t do that for a friend. When it’s your sibling or your child or parent, it’s more difficult).
