well, for sure, some people are more tolerant of risk than others.
But this much is also assured; whatever one’s tolerance for risk is, call it x, the tolerance of risk for one’s offspring is significanty less, something like 1/10 to 1/20x. That is why parents do not really want what is best for their children, but what is safest. We want life to work out for them. We want them not to fail.
As the great jazz artist Coleman Hawkins said, “If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not really trying”. Well, in theory we want our kids to learn from mistakes, but everyone wants recoverable mistakes for their kids. Nothing too bad…
The part that is difficult to imagine about having kids is how terrifying it can be to have them out there, potentially making big mistakes. Me, personally, i could give a crap if i die. Really. If I keeled over and had a heart attack right now, I’d be fine with that, except i was planning to get a few things done this weekend, but, well, big deal.
But if one of my kids were to die, or if harm were to come to them, or even if their lives got screwed up in some significant way…I don’t know if I could recover.
the other part that’s hard to imagine is how 24/7 draining it is to monitor small fry.
And so, hardcore urban lifestyle, it’s doable. But it might be different than you think. Maybe not. But maybe. Kids change you or well, they changed me; they made me into an even bigger pussy than I was!
How me and my brother grew up in Brooklyn NY in the late 70’s, early 80’s? What we did? I would not let my children be subject to that level of risk. I guess this is why a lot of old people get really conservative.
