We have toyed with building our own house several times and never have done it for many of the reasons given in this thread…you all are a wealth of info all wrapped up in one spot.
What a gem.
As for the GC not paying subs, I have friends who had to pay for material twice – once to the GC and then later to the subs so they would remove their liens. It is a common situation.
The problem, of course, is that the materials that were not paid for are now a part of your house so the subs have no alternative but to lien your property.
I have also talked to ppl who found a way around this problem. They refused to pay the GC for materials, had the materials drop-shipped to their lot, and wrote a check to the delivery person when the material arrived. I’m sure they met with some resistance to this path, but it is the only way I know of to ensure you pay for materials only once.