this is a funny thread – rational singles vs delusional marrieds – “and in this corner, wearing the red trunks …”
marriage is an institution that made sense prior to WWII when women had very few choices economically – Rosy the Riveter and women’s lib changed all that – IMO women were better off before although in many cases they were treated as little more than chattel
in college my buddies and I talked about different ways to have monogamous, committed relationships without the ’till death do us part’ anchor of marriage – my favorite was contract marriage – basically a 5 or 7 year contract that could be renewed if desired
one of my favorite SciFi books, “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress” by Robert Heinlein, explores several non-standard forms of marriage – the book’s main character is part of a line marriage where there are several husbands and several wives – the book is set in a penal colony on the moon where there are numerous men for every woman – in this setting women have real power within the society because there are so few of them
one of the main drawbacks to marriage IMO is that men are goal oriented – when the goal is marriage a man is all sugar and spice – courting and wooing with flowers, fancy dates, love notes, poetry, etc – once the goal (marriage) is accomplished, a man hangs the trophy over the mantle and then goes back to whatever he was doing before getting married – the poor woman hangs on the wall wondering what happened to the Romeo she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with
another of my favorite books (and the only love story on my bookshelves) is Richard Bach’s “The Bridge Across Forever” – he explores many ideas about marriage from a man’s perspective – the most poignant thought: if you believe in marriage, live it fully – if you don’t, get yourself un-married as quickly as possible
Richard’s thought helped me end an ill-considered marriage and now, like Rex Harrison in “My Fair Lady”, I’m a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so
