– Is it a city/country thing? Most of my friends and I grew up in small towns. Maybe folks from the sticks – like where I and most of my friends grew up – didn’t grow up caring a whole lot about money.
– Maybe it’s a rich upbringing thing. Most of my friends and I had very little growing up and had no expectations of ever having anything. It was – and is – much more important to find someone who wants the same thing out of life as I do…regardless of their ability to earn gobs of money. We could live on crackers and water if we had too – and did for a bit there in the beginning. And we were perfectly happy.
– Maybe it’s a control thing. I want someone I can control, I want someone to have control over me.
I don’t know. Intentionally seeking out someone to support me or someone to support is at odds with my very basic values. It is very distasteful to me.
Why I’m absolutely certain my wife is not that way:
I was broke, living at home, jobless and bumming around from community college course to cc course (ladies there!) when my wife started dating me. I can tell you without a doubt she was *not* dating me for current or potential future earnings. Hell, she was doing better in school than I was! She married me because I could hold a decent conversation, I treated her right, I knew how to have fun, and I had a dangerous edge without being too dangerous.
Another piece of evidence I have from that time period: When I was dating my future wife, an ex-gf from across the country sent me a letter unaware that I was in another relationship. It was OK because it wasn’t a “let’s get back together” letter, just a “I thought of you today” letter. At one point in the letter, my former gf said that she’d decided the best thing is to marry for money. My future wife was just fine with all the former-lover stuff – until that sentence. She got angry when she read that sentence – very angry. I was glad there was a continent between the two. 🙂
Most of my male friends likewise met their wives when they were in similar unassuming situations. They can be sure their wives weren’t after their money because they didn’t have any at the time, and I sense that in their relationship too.
